Paul Brian
Not everyone gets classier as they age:
In fact, some men become the “dirty grandpa,” or the local hard-drinking goon.
Other fellows age like fine wine, becoming the kind of kindly middle-aged and older-aged man who others are drawn to for friendships, relationships, business collaboration and pleasant interactions.
What makes the difference between these two paths of mature masculinity?
So what traits define the kind of man who ages gracefully and becomes more sophisticated as his years add up?
Let’s take a look!
1) Learning and expanding their mind
Refined guys keep learning as they age.
No matter their level of fluid intelligence or crystallized intelligence, they keep learning new information and discovering new facts.
Through travel, further education, friendships, collaboration, reading and every other medium, they keep becoming a knowledgeable and informed individual.
As Johnson & Wales University notes:
“Lifelong learning can help with your professional and personal development, empowering you to explore and uncover new insights about yourself.”
2) Dressing elegantly and cultivating a unique style
Men who age like fine wine are style connoisseurs.
They dress elegantly, or at least true to their self-image and what they want to convey in the world. They also dress in a way that’s comfortable for them and lets them feel as full of ease as possible.
They have a knack for blending into situations and being appropriately and classily dressed for the occasion, as well as well-groomed and with impeccable hygiene.
This all makes a big difference, especially as one ages!
“Dress appropriately for the occasion and location, taking into account the dress code and cultural norms. If you are unsure of the dress code, remember that is always better to be slightly overdressed than under-dressed,” notes the British School of Etiquette.
“Take care of your personal hygiene, including bathing regularly, brushing your teeth, and wearing clean clothes.”
3) Speaking eloquently with clarity and confidence
Men who become more sophisticated with age learn to speak eloquently and with clarity.
They enunciate their words, speak at an audible (but not booming) volume, and learn a wide vocabulary to work into what they say.
They become excellent storytellers as well, learning to weave anecdotes and tales from their life into their daily interactions and involvements with others.
When it comes to specific ways to become a more eloquent speaker, these tips from Joseph Tsar are very insightful.
4) Delving deep into the arts and literature
Guys who age in a classy way tend to delve deep into art and literature and find their niche.
Whatever kind of art, writing and creative mediums they enjoy, they find a spark of passion and follow it in terms of developing an artistic sensibility.
This connection to beauty allows them to grow in self-awareness and also provides a rich medium for them to connect with fellow artistic and creative types.
Even the most rationally-minded man gains a lot from finding his artistic, imaginative side and exploring it a little bit as he gets on in years.
5) Refining their manners and etiquette in social situations
Men with manners become more refined as they age. They do their best to exceed etiquette in every situation and have manners that others notice.
They understand that it’s not just about appearing a certain way, but about actually being that way.
This comes down to respect and granting a full level of commitment and presence to whatever situation they find themselves in.
The British School of Etiquette has some great advice on this:
“Etiquette is important because it establishes a set of social norms and expectations that help individuals interact with each other in a respectful, considerate, and appropriate manner…
This includes using utensils properly, keeping your elbows off the table, and chewing with your mouth closed. Also, wait until everyone is served before starting to eat.”
6) Exhibiting grace under pressure and calm in the face of danger
There is something to be said for courage under fire and grace under pressure.
Men who uphold the ideally masculine attitude of calm under pressure tend to age much more gracefully.
They become a respected parent, grandparent, teacher, community member or friend to those around them.
They help other folks through their struggles and do their best to be there for those they care about when the storms of life hit hard. They become somebody’s rock.
7) Understanding the difference between confidence and arrogance
Men who become more refined as they age have a firm understanding of the difference between confidence and cockiness.
Although the two can sometimes be confused, they couldn’t be more different.
Whereas cockiness and arrogance are aggressive, in-your-face and abrasive, confidence is smooth, calm and low-key.
Confidence is all about competence and inner security, whereas cockiness is all about showing off and trying to cover up for insecurity and self-doubt.
“Confidence emerges from a genuine belief in oneself, leading to positive self-assurance, openness to collaboration, and empathy for others,” points out the National Black MBA Association.
“Arrogance, however, stems from insecurity, resulting in an inflated sense of self-importance, dismissive behavior, and a lack of empathy.”
8) Improving their emotional intelligence and maturity
Men who become more sophisticated with age make an applied effort to become more self-aware and grow their EQ (emotional intelligence).
They converse with those close to them and reflect on their upbringing and the forces, ideas and norms that have shaped them.
They engage in critical thinking to choose who they become instead of having social engineers and tastemakers choose for them.
In short, they consciously shape their own destiny and choose to become a mature and self-sufficient individual, instead of cruising on autopilot and sliding into their later years sloppily.
9) Leading with honesty and integrity instead of pushiness
Men who get more refined as they age learn how to lead with grace.
If they are working, they become the kind of boss that others genuinely look up to. They learn to be a person who leads by example instead of by title.
They are honest as much as possible and set the example they’d like others to follow, gaining the trust of employees and, in their personal life, gaining the trust and affection of those close to them.
“As a leader, it’s crucial to demonstrate Integrity in the workplace,” notes Lorenzo Flores.
“This means being honest, transparent, and accountable for your actions. Leaders who lead with Integrity gain the trust of their team, creating a positive work environment where everyone feels valued.”
