Men who are strong on the surface but vulnerable underneath usually display these 7 subtle behaviors

Ever meet a guy who’s a rock on the outside, but deep down, softer than marshmallow fluff? That’s what we’re diving into today.

You see, there are men out there who, on first glance, appear as the epitome of strength. Yet, beneath that tough exterior, they’re as vulnerable and tender as anyone else.

These men aren’t hard to spot if you know what to look for. They have subtle behaviors that give away their secret – to those who are paying attention.

In this article, we’ll uncover 7 little signs that hint at a man’s hidden vulnerability. It’s not about exposing anyone; it’s about understanding them better. So get ready to peek behind the curtain and see what’s really going on.

1) They value deep connections

You’ve met him. The guy who can light up a room with his charisma, win the crowd with his charm, but when you sit down for a one-on-one conversation, you notice something different.

He doesn’t just skim the surface or stick to small talk. Instead, he dives deep into the heart of the matter, reaching out for meaningful connections and profound conversations.

This is a telltale sign of men who are strong on the outside but vulnerable underneath. They want more than just casual friendships or superficial relationships. They yearn for authentic connections where they can truly be themselves.

But don’t dive in too fast here – it’s not always easy for them to open up about their feelings or vulnerabilities. It takes time and trust.

So if you notice this behavior, be patient and understanding, and let them go at their own pace; they’re revealing a part of themselves not everyone gets to see.

2) They’re not afraid of tears

Here’s where things get a little unexpected. Those men who seem like towers of strength? They’re not immune to tears.

It may surprise you, but these tough-as-nails guys actually aren’t afraid to show their emotional side. It’s a common misconception that being strong means keeping emotions under lock and key.

For these men, however, letting their guard down and expressing their feelings makes them feel stronger.

Crying or showing emotional vulnerability doesn’t diminish their strength; instead, it underscores their humanity. It shows they are comfortable with their emotions and are not afraid to let others see them in their most vulnerable state.

3) They’re mindful of their own needs

When it comes to these strong-on-the-outside, vulnerable-on-the-inside guys, they have a keen awareness of their own needs and feelings. It’s not about being self-centered or egotistical. It’s about recognizing that their emotional health is important too.

Now, this might sound familiar to some of you who’ve read my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It’s all about understanding and breaking away from unhealthy habits and patterns in relationships, including neglecting your own needs.

Just like I talk about in the book, these men understand that it’s okay to put their needs first sometimes. They know that they can’t be there for others if they don’t take care of themselves first.

So if your partner prioritizes self-care or sets boundaries to protect his mental and emotional well-being, don’t mistake it for selfishness. It’s just him being mindful of his own needs while still being there for the people he cares about.

4) They embrace vulnerability as strength

There’s a beautiful line by Leonard Cohen that I always keep close to my heart – “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” This perfectly sums up the perspective of these men.

These strong yet vulnerable men understand that showing their softer side doesn’t make them weak. On the contrary, they embrace it as a form of strength. They know that it’s okay to have cracks, to have flaws, and they’re not afraid to show them.

By doing so, they let their inner light shine through, illuminating their true character. It takes a lot of courage to let down your guard and reveal your true self to the world, but these men do it because they know it’s worth it.

5) They appreciate the quiet moments

Now, you might be picturing these men as always being in the thick of action—taking charge, making decisions, standing tall. But here’s a little secret: they cherish the quiet moments just as much, if not more.

I’ve noticed that these strong yet vulnerable men have a special appreciation for stillness and tranquility. They understand that it’s in these quiet moments that they can connect with their inner selves, reflect on their thoughts and feelings, and recharge.

Whether it’s enjoying a cup of coffee in solitude, taking a peaceful walk in the park, or simply sitting quietly with their thoughts, these men value these moments of stillness. They’re not always about action and hustle – they need space to breathe, to feel, to just be.

6) They’re not afraid to ask for help

It’s often said that the first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one. This is a lesson that these men have taken to heart.

They understand, as John Lennon once wisely said, that “it’s okay to not be okay.” They know that being strong doesn’t mean dealing with everything alone. It means knowing when it’s time to reach out and ask for help.

I’ve seen this in action many times. These men will step up and shoulder the world when they need to, but they also recognize when it’s time to lean on others. They’re not ashamed to admit when they’re struggling or to ask for support.

This humility, this willingness to seek help, is a clear sign of their inner vulnerability. It shows that they understand the value of collaboration and community in overcoming life’s hurdles.

7) They sometimes feel lost

Here’s the raw truth: these strong-on-the-outside, vulnerable-on-the-inside men — they sometimes feel lost.

They have moments of doubt, times when they’re unsure of their path, and periods when they question their purpose. It’s not because they’re weak or incapable. It’s because they’re human.

This sense of feeling lost is a part of their vulnerability. It’s a sign that they are in touch with their feelings and are not afraid to acknowledge them. It shows that they have the courage to face uncertainty and navigate through it.

When you see a man who appears strong but admits to feeling lost at times – whether it’s asking you for help or sharing his struggles – know that he’s showing you a side of him that few get to see. He’s sharing his vulnerability with you, and that’s something truly special.

Exploring the hidden strengths

The complexities of human behavior are a fascinating study. What we see on the surface is just a fraction of what lies beneath.

In the case of men who appear strong on the outside but are vulnerable underneath, these subtle behaviors we’ve been exploring are just a glimpse into their depth.

These men, with their quiet strength, emotional openness, and raw honesty, defy the stereotypical image of what a strong man should be like.

Their journey is not always easy. They have moments of doubt, times of struggle, and periods when they feel lost. But they navigate through it all with courage and resilience, embracing their vulnerabilities as an integral part of their strength.

In this journey to understand these men better, I suggest watching this insightful video by Justin Brown, where he explores the beauty of self-commitment and how life’s fluidity allows us to embrace every phase with open arms.

It can give you an added perspective into what we’ve been discussing in this article.

Understanding these men more deeply can help us appreciate the strength in vulnerability. It can encourage more honest conversations about masculinity and pave the way for a more empathetic society where everyone is free to be their authentic selves.

And as we conclude our explorations here, let’s remember that strength comes in many forms, and sometimes, it’s hidden beneath layers of vulnerability.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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