Although confidence is generally seen as a good thing, I’ve learned that everything in life is best in moderation.
From food to feelings, when it’s too much of a good thing, things can get unhealthy real quick.
So, if you consider yourself a confident man, fantastic! You’re in an elite club.
But remember, there’s a fine line between being confident and insufferably overconfident.
When it comes to making the most of love and relationships, for instance, that macho bravado has to go. Instead, a more nuanced approach is almost always necessary.
In this article, I’ll walk you through seven common relationship mistakes overconfident men make. When you identify these behaviors, you can fix them. Let’s dive in!
1) They overlook their partner’s feelings
When you’re overconfident, you tend to think you have it all figured out. You might assume you understand your partner completely, without even really listening to them.
This can result in your partner feeling undervalued and disrespected and eventually, the resentment builds.
Let’s say your partner has established her boundaries. Maybe she’s naturally introverted and has communicated with you how she wants a quiet weekend at home.
Instead, you go ahead and invite a few of your rowdiest friends over to watch the NBA Finals over beers and pizza on a Saturday afternoon.
Rather than being sensitive to your woman’s needs, you slyly find a way around it. Simply put, this blatant disregard for your partner’s feelings is a recipe for disaster.
And if you keep it up, don’t expect a lengthy relationship…
2) They dominate conversations
Healthy relationships are all about give and take, equality, and fairness. This energy should be carried over to your day-to-day habits, including how you converse.
When you monopolize conversations, for instance, you’re stifling communication by not allowing your partner to fully express themself.
They say healthy communication is the bedrock of any successful relationship, so when you dominate conversations, it’s a sign that something’s off; not to mention it being a pretty narcissistic and annoying practice.
Believe it or not, dominating the conversation is still an incredibly common phenomenon in 2023. And it isn’t limited to romantic relationships.
I can name countless people off the top of my head who can talk about themselves for hours on end without letting you get a word in.
And when you do finally contribute, they’ll retreat to their phone, offering you a fraction of their attention at best. They suddenly have the urge to check the latest updates on Twitter, when it’s your turn to talk. How convenient.
The best relationships are where there is balance, particularly when communicating, where both partners feel regularly heard and valued, and where active listening is the norm.
3) They neglect self-improvement
It’s expected and encouraged to feel comfortable in your other half’s presence, but when you get excessively comfortable, things can get a little tricky.
Some men are so content with themselves, they think self-improvement is for dummies. But the thing about successful relationships is that they are all about evolving.
You stay fixed in your ways for too long, and you risk things becoming stale, routine, and even unattractive.
Besides, whether in a relationship or not, as a man, looking after yourself and personal growth should always be top of mind.
Once you let yourself go, you can expect a whole host of issues from mental health problems to physical ailments to arise.
As men, we should always be humble and open to feedback.
Nobody is perfect after all, not even George Clooney or the guys from BTS. This leads me to my next point…
4) They ignore criticism and feedback
Here’s the thing: overconfident men tend to have a lot of pride. Their well-intentioned partner can offer them constructive criticism but they might brush it off, considering it a threat to their self-image instead of an actual opportunity to improve.
This mentality needs to change.
There’s always something to work on as a human being on this planet. When you feel you’re fully contented, that’s when issues come to fruition.
Fellas, stop taking things personally.
When your woman says you have a tendency to binge drink and become obnoxious, for instance, take this as a cue to take a step back and assess yourself instead of perceiving it as a personal slight.
5) They take their partner for granted
Real talk: taking a partner for granted is one of the most common reasons for breakups in the history of relationships. As we’ve resoundingly established, being too comfortable in a relationship is a slippery slope.
I’ll be honest… thinking that your partner will always be there, regardless of how you behave isn’t a sustainable way to go about things.
If you continue to act without compromise or consideration, expect things to go south fast.
Taking your partner for granted can come in the form of the bigger things like cheating to everyday habits like being lazy or not helping around the house.
So always put in the time. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating for five weeks or five years, if you want a happy harmonious union, keep moving forward with effort or risk your significant other walking out on you, as he or she should.
At the end of the day, everyone wants and deserves a fulfilling, enriching relationship, and nobody wants to feel neglected.
6) They have inflated expectations
When you’re overconfident, you might be unrealistic about your relationship expectations, which can result in disappointment and tension if those expectations aren’t met.
Overconfidence also means being eternally optimistic; you might expect everything to ultimately work itself out.
You might naively assume everything will always be fine and dandy, that there will be constant agreement and perfect emotional fulfillment with minimal arguments or conflict.
Unfortunately, life doesn’t work this way.
When reality makes itself heard, feelings like disappointment, anger, and resentment will likely emerge.
It’s crucial to accept that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship and challenges are inevitable. Recognize that your partner is a person too and he/she isn’t solely responsible for your happiness.
Set your expectations at a reasonable level, and keep working on yourself and the relationship. Once you accomplish this, you can fully expect some positive things to come your way.
7) They refuse to seek help
The thing about overconfident men is they have a tendency to take on too much, remaining too prideful to ask for help.
In fact, they might brush off the prospect of seeking professional help even when it’s sorely needed. They might even label it as a money-making racket instead of an actual, necessary avenue to help and healing.
If your partner recognizes that your relationship needs fixing and suggests going to a counselor, you should at least be open to the possibility. Don’t shut it down immediately.
No man is an island. Sometimes you can’t fix things on your own. Seeking external help from an objective, third-party source can really help you and decide the fate of your relationship down the line.
You’re only exacerbating issues by avoiding help. Don’t be a lost cause.
A few months ago, my girlfriend wanted us both to attend a psychiatric workshop called “healing our inner child.” Yes, we both have hang-ups from childhood.
The old me would’ve flat-out refused the invitation, probably citing the expensive fees as a reason to stay home. I was also once in denial about needing help.
This time I eagerly attended the three-day seminar. As a result, my partner and I grew closer as a couple, and I’m one step closer to resolving unaddressed traumas as well.
In summary, I’d like to tell the gentlemen with a surplus of confidence, maybe it’s time for some self-reflection.
Your confidence may very well take you far in life, as it should, but when a partner is involved, you’ll want to put that foot on the gas from time to time.
Slow down and take things in stride.
Start small. Begin by actively listening to your partner, respecting boundaries, and focusing on self-improvement and growth.
Once your better half sees you putting the effort in, I promise you, her respect and admiration for you will grow exponentially.
Don’t forget: a successful relationship is a shared journey, requiring mutual understanding and respect.
Toning down the overconfidence a few notches and fostering emotional intelligence and empathy can definitely make the journey smoother and more enjoyable for everyone involved.