My grandfather used to say “A man is only as good as his actions.” It’s a simple yet profound truth that has stuck with me over the years.
You see, actions speak louder than words. And sometimes, those actions can reveal a lot about a person’s character – even when they’re not aware of it themselves.
Take selfishness, for instance.
It’s a trait that’s often hidden under layers of charm and charisma.
But if you look closely, it tends to reveal itself through certain behaviors.
Wondering what I’m talking about?
Well, you’re in the right place.
In this article, I’m going to delve into the subconscious world of deeply selfish men.
Specifically, I’ll be highlighting 7 key behaviors that such individuals frequently display – often without even realizing it.
Ready to tune into this intriguing bit of human psychology? Let’s dive in.
1) They often prioritize their needs over others
Does this sound familiar?
He’s always the first to pick the movie, choose the restaurant, or decide the vacation spot.
And when it comes to your preferences? They somehow always end up at the bottom of the list.
You see, deeply selfish men have a knack for putting their needs and wants above everyone else’s. It’s not that they’re entirely oblivious to others’ desires.
They just tend to rank them lower in comparison to their own.
This behavior isn’t always glaringly obvious, but when you start noticing a pattern, it’s hard to ignore. And yes, it’s a definite sign of deep-rooted selfishness.
A relationship is about balance, compromise, and mutual respect.
2) They lack empathy for others
Ever experienced something like this?
A few years back, I had a friend, let’s call him Jack. Jack was a charismatic and fun-loving guy.
But there was one situation that made me question his character.
I was going through a tough time, dealing with a family crisis.
Naturally, I reached out to Jack, hoping for some emotional support. Instead, he brushed off my concerns, saying things like “It’s not that big of a deal” or “You’re overreacting”.
In essence, he failed to show empathy for my situation.
This is another telltale sign of deep-seated selfishness.
These men often fail to understand or share the feelings of others, mainly because they’re so wrapped up in their own world.
Empathy is the cornerstone of any strong relationship – be it friendship or romance.
3) They crave constant attention and validation
Picture this.
You’re at a social gathering, and there’s this guy, let’s name him Tom.
Tom’s the life of the party. He’s charming and funny, and everyone seems to gravitate towards him.
But you start to notice something. No matter how engaging the conversation or interesting the topic, Tom somehow manages to steer it back to himself.
His achievements. His experiences. His life.
Tom isn’t just sharing; he’s dominating the conversation, feeding off the attention and validation like a plant soaks up sunlight.
And when the spotlight shifts? He becomes visibly uncomfortable, even irritable.
This need for constant attention and validation is a classic trait of deeply selfish men.
They see themselves as the center of the universe and expect others to treat them accordingly.
But here’s the thing – true friendships aren’t one-sided.
They’re about give-and-take, understanding, and respect.
If someone constantly needs to be in the limelight, it might be time to question whether their behavior is coming from a place of deep-seated selfishness.
4) They struggle with accountability
Let me tell you a story.
I once worked with a guy named Mike.
Mike was smart and capable, and everyone thought he was a great team player. Until things went wrong.
Whenever there was a mistake or a missed deadline, Mike was quick to point fingers at everyone but himself.
He’d weave intricate tales about how it wasn’t his fault, how someone else had dropped the ball.
The truth? Mike struggled with accountability.
This trait is common in deeply selfish men. They have a hard time accepting their mistakes and taking responsibility for their actions.
It’s always about protecting their image, even if it means casting blame on others.
Healthy relationships rely on accountability. It’s about owning up to your mistakes and learning from them, not shifting blame onto others.
If you’re dealing with someone who can’t do this, it might be a sign of deep-rooted selfishness.
5) They struggle with generosity
Here’s something you might not know.
Research found that individuals who are more selfish are often less likely to be generous.
The study revealed that these individuals tend to have a lower capacity for compassion and empathy, which in turn impacts their willingness to give.
Now, consider this.
You’re out for dinner with your friend, let’s call him Sam.
When the check comes, Sam always finds an excuse to avoid paying his fair share.
Or maybe he’s the type who never offers to help others but is the first to ask for a favor when he needs one.
Sam’s behavior might seem like simple stinginess at first. But in reality, it could be a sign of a deeper issue – selfishness.
Generosity is about more than just giving money or time.
It’s about showing kindness and consideration towards others. If Sam consistently fails to do this, he may be displaying one of the key behaviors of deeply selfish men.
6) They lack genuine interest in others
Have you ever had a conversation like this?
You’re chatting with a friend. You’re excitedly telling him about a personal achievement or an interesting experience you’ve had.
They nod along, but his eyes are glazed over. He doesn’t ask any follow-up questions or show any genuine curiosity about your story.
After a few minutes, he’s already steering the conversation back to himself.
This lack of genuine interest in others is another common trait of deeply selfish men.
They struggle to show kindness and empathy towards others because they’re so focused on their own experiences and needs.
Everyone wants to feel heard and valued.
If someone consistently fails to show interest in your life, it might be time to question whether they’re truly a good friend – or if their behavior is rooted in deep-seated selfishness.
7) They resist change and compromise
Here’s the thing.
Deeply selfish men often have a rigid worldview. They believe their way is the best way, and they resist any suggestion or request to change their behavior or beliefs.
You might see this in a friend, let’s call him Joe, who stubbornly sticks to his routines and preferences, even when it inconveniences others.
Or maybe it’s a partner who refuses to compromise on shared decisions, insisting that his way is the only way.
This resistance to change and compromise isn’t just frustrating—it’s a clear sign of deep-seated selfishness.
It suggests that Joe values his comfort and convenience more than the feelings or needs of others.
In any relationship, compromise is key. It’s about finding a middle ground that respects and fulfills everyone involved.
Final thoughts
If you’ve been relating to the behaviors described in this article, take heart.
The recognition of these traits is the first step towards understanding and change.
Nobody’s perfect. We all have our quirks and flaws.
But when selfish behaviors start affecting relationships, it’s time to pause, reflect, and take action.
It doesn’t mean that a deeply selfish person is bad or unlovable. It just means they may need to work on their self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
And if you’re dealing with someone who displays these traits, know that you have every right to stand up for your needs and feelings.
You’re not responsible for anyone else’s behavior or growth – that’s a personal journey each of us must take.
Selfishness, like any trait, can be modified with effort, empathy, and understanding. It won’t happen overnight. Change is a process and it takes time.
So, whether you’re the one struggling with selfish behaviors or dealing with someone who is, remember to be patient and kind to yourself.
Life is a learning experience – one in which we continually grow and evolve.
In the end, it’s all about striving for healthier and more balanced relationships – with others and with ourselves.