Eliza Hartley
Being self-centered is often a blind spot.
It’s a way of seeing the world that focuses primarily on one’s own needs, often to the detriment of others. And the tricky part is that those who are deeply self-centered often don’t realize it.
Men who are deeply self-centered tend to show certain behaviors, usually without even noticing. Recognizing these behaviors can be the first step towards growth and change.
In this article, we’re going to explore these eight telltale signs – so buckle up, it’s time for some self-reflection.
1) They always put their needs first
Being self-centered goes hand in hand with prioritizing one’s own needs, often to the detriment of others.
Men who are deeply self-centered may not even realize they’re doing it. It’s a deeply ingrained behavior, a sort of autopilot that guides their actions and decisions.
In a conversation, they might steer the topic towards themselves. In a group setting, they might make decisions that only benefit them without considering the impact on others.
The tricky part is that they often don’t see it as being selfish. To them, it’s just taking care of their own needs. But the effect on others can be quite different.
Recognizing this behavior is an important first step in dealing with deep-seated self-centeredness.
2) Lack of empathy
Another common trait of deeply self-centered men is a lack of empathy. They often find it difficult to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective.
I remember a good friend of mine, let’s call him John. He was always the life of the party, charismatic and entertaining. But when it came to understanding others’ feelings, John struggled.
One day, I was going through a tough time. I had just lost my job and was feeling pretty low. I decided to open up to John about it, hoping for some understanding and support.
But John’s response was far from empathetic. He quickly brushed off my concerns, essentially telling me to “get over it” and focus on the positive. To him, my problems were trivial because they did not directly affect him.
It was a clear sign of his self-centeredness: his inability to empathize with what I was going through because it wasn’t about him.
3) Often engages in one-sided conversations
When engaging in conversation, self-centered men often dominate the discourse. They usually talk about their interests, achievements, and experiences without giving others a chance to share their thoughts or stories.
Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Research in Personality found that people who frequently use the words “I,” “me,” and “my,” are more likely to exhibit traits of narcissism and self-centeredness. So it’s not always about what they’re saying, but how they’re saying it.
This incessant need to be the center of attention can often leave others feeling unheard and unimportant. Recognizing this behavior can shed light on the level of self-centeredness one may possess.
4) They struggle with genuine compliments
One common characteristic of deeply self-centered men is their difficulty with giving and receiving genuine compliments. This stems from their inability to see beyond their own experiences and achievements.
When it comes to giving compliments, they might struggle because they’re not used to focusing on others’ accomplishments. On the flip side, when they receive a compliment, they may dismiss it or immediately turn the conversation back to themselves.
This inability to engage in a genuine exchange of compliments is indicative of a self-centered mindset. It’s a small, yet telling sign that their world primarily revolves around themselves.
5) They have difficulty maintaining meaningful relationships
Deeply self-centered men often find it challenging to maintain deep, meaningful relationships. It’s a sad reality that stems from their consistent focus on their own needs and desires.
Consider a romantic relationship, for instance. It thrives on mutual understanding, compassion, and giving – all things that require one to step outside their own world. When one person consistently puts their needs first, it creates an imbalance that can strain the relationship.
Friends and family members may also feel the burden of this self-centered behavior. Over time, they might distance themselves, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness for the self-centered individual.
It’s a heartbreaking cycle – one that can only be broken by recognizing and addressing these self-centered behaviors.
6) They don’t take criticism well
Taking criticism positively requires a certain level of humility and acceptance that we’re not perfect – something deeply self-centered men often struggle with.
I recall a time when I had to give some constructive feedback to a colleague at work. He was always quick to point out others’ mistakes but rarely acknowledged his own. When I gently pointed out an area he could improve in, he became defensive and argumentative.
In his eyes, he was always right, and anyone who thought otherwise was against him. It was a clear manifestation of his self-centered nature, making it difficult for him and others around him to grow and improve.
7) They rarely express gratitude
Expressing gratitude requires acknowledging the efforts and contributions of others, something deeply self-centered men often overlook. Their focus on their own achievements can make it challenging for them to see and appreciate the value others bring into their lives.
For instance, they might dismiss a kind gesture from a friend or fail to appreciate a colleague’s hard work on a shared project.
This lack of gratitude not only affects their relationships but can also lead to a lack of contentment in life. After all, recognizing and appreciating the good in others is a key component of happiness and fulfillment.
8) They avoid responsibility for their actions
Ultimately, one of the most telling signs of a deeply self-centered man is his inability to take responsibility for his actions. Instead of acknowledging their mistakes and learning from them, they often blame others or circumstances to avoid feeling inadequate or flawed.
This behavior not only hinders their personal growth but can also damage their relationships and reputation in the long run. Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a fundamental aspect of maturity and integrity, something that self-centered individuals often struggle with.
Reflecting on the journey
As we delve into the realm of deeply self-centered behaviors, it’s crucial to remember that no one is immune to them. We all have moments of self-centeredness, but the key lies in recognition and growth.
Studying these behaviors isn’t meant to condemn or judge, but rather to enlighten and promote understanding. This understanding can be the catalyst for change – not just for those who display these behaviors, but also for those affected by them.
Renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This acceptance is pivotal for genuinely self-centered individuals who seek transformation.
In embracing our flaws, we open the door for growth and improvement. Let’s take this understanding as an opportunity to reflect, empathize, and grow – both individually and collectively.
