James Carter
Social media can be a double-edged sword. On one side, it’s a fun way to keep connected with friends and family. On the other, it can become a measuring stick for self-worth.
I’m sure you’ve noticed how some folks obsess over the number of likes they get on their posts. It’s almost as if they’re basing their self-esteem on those tiny thumbs-up icons.
If you’ve ever wondered what drives this behavior, you’re not alone. There are certain patterns and behaviors that are often displayed by people who tether their worth to social media approval.
In this article, we’ll dive into seven of these behaviors. By understanding them, perhaps we can start to untangle our self-esteem from our social media presence and find a healthier balance.
So let’s get started. Here are the seven behaviors often displayed by people who gauge their self-worth on social media likes.
1) Seeking validation
One of the most common behaviors of people who tie their self-worth to social media likes is a constant need for validation.
These individuals often measure their success, and even their self-worth, by how many likes, shares, or comments they receive.
Each like is viewed as a vote of approval, a sign that they are liked, appreciated, and valued.
It’s not unlike the concept of social proof, where people base their decisions on what others have done before them. In this case, it’s about basing one’s self-esteem on the perceived approval of others.
The danger here is that it can lead to a vicious cycle. The more likes an individual receives, the more validation they feel.
But when the likes don’t come in as expected, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
This constant seeking of validation can be exhausting and ultimately unfulfilling. After all, true self-worth comes from within, not from the number of likes on a social media post.
2) Obsessive comparison
I recall a time when I found myself falling into the comparison trap on social media. It’s a slippery slope and something many of us, who overly rely on social media for validation, tend to do.
Whenever I’d scroll through my feed, I would inevitably start comparing myself to others. I’d see a friend’s vacation photos and feel a pang of envy.
Or perhaps, I’d come across a colleague’s post about their promotion and wonder why I wasn’t achieving as much.
I found myself in constant comparison mode, judging my life based on others’ highlight reels. The more I compared, the less satisfied I felt with my own life.
The truth is, it’s easy to fall into this trap when our self-worth is tied to social media likes. But keep in mind, what we see on social media is often a curated version of reality, not the full picture.
Comparing ourselves to these perfectly crafted images can lead to feelings of inadequacy and discontentment.
It took me some time, but eventually, I realized that the only person I should be comparing myself to is the person I was yesterday. And that has made all the difference.
3) Over-sharing
Over-sharing is a common habit among those who base their self-worth on social media likes. They tend to share every detail of their lives, from what they had for breakfast to their deepest thoughts and feelings.
This goes beyond simply keeping friends and family updated. It’s more about seeking attention and validation. By sharing every trivial or intimate detail, they hope to invite a flurry of likes and comments.
Interestingly, research suggests that this behavior can actually backfire. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that sharing too much can lead to a decrease in intimacy and trust.
People who over-share can come across as attention-seeking and may even distance themselves from their social network.
So while it might seem like over-sharing is a way to boost self-esteem via social media likes, it can potentially have the opposite effect.
4) Emotional mood swings
If you’ve ever noticed that your mood fluctuates with the number of likes on your latest post, you’re not alone.
Many people who link their self-worth to social media likes experience emotional mood swings based on their online interactions.
For these individuals, a well-received post can make their day. The likes and positive comments can bring about feelings of joy, validation, and satisfaction.
On the flip side, a post that doesn’t get enough attention can leave them feeling downcast and rejected.
This emotional rollercoaster isn’t just exhausting—it can also be harmful to mental health. One minute you’re on cloud nine, and the next, you’re questioning your self-worth.
It’s important to remember that social media likes are not an accurate reflection of your worth or value as a person.
5) Altering reality
I remember a time when I was on a trip. It was my first solo adventure, and I was thrilled about the freedom and possibilities.
But instead of fully immersing myself in the experience, I found myself constantly thinking about how to capture the ‘perfect’ picture to post on Instagram.
Every sunset, every meal, every unique experience was seen through the lens of how it would look on my feed. I found myself staging photos and tweaking filters, all to create an enviable image of my travels.
The problem? I was so focused on creating a picture-perfect version of my trip for social media that I wasn’t fully present in the moment. I was altering my own reality for the sake of likes.
This behavior is common among those who base their self-worth on social media likes. The desire for validation can become so strong that it bleeds into real life, causing us to curate our experiences for the sake of a good post.
The danger is that we might end up living for likes, rather than truly living our lives.
6) Constant checking
Another common behavior of individuals who base their self-worth on social media likes is the incessant need to check their accounts.
It’s almost like a compulsive behavior, where they constantly refresh their feeds to see the latest comments and likes on their posts.
This constant checking can interfere with other aspects of life. Work, personal relationships, and even self-care can take a backseat to this social media obsession.
It can become a 24/7 preoccupation, with the smartphone always within reach, ready for the next scroll, the next update.
It’s a behavior that feeds into the cycle of seeking validation through likes. But remember, while it’s nice to be appreciated on social media, it’s more important to live a balanced life that’s not dominated by the quest for online approval.
7) Neglecting real-life relationships
The most crucial point to understand is that an over-reliance on social media for self-worth can often lead to the neglect of real-life relationships.
Those who are constantly seeking validation through likes and comments may find themselves spending less time nurturing their offline connections.
These real-life relationships, from family and friends to colleagues and neighbors, are essential for our well-being.
They provide support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. They’re the ones who truly know us, beyond the filtered snapshots we share online.
So while social media can be a fun way to connect and share, it’s important not to let it overshadow the value of our real-world interactions.
After all, a thousand likes on a post can never replace a heartfelt conversation or a shared laugh with someone you care about in person.
Final thoughts: The path to authentic self-worth
The human desire for approval and acceptance is deeply ingrained in our social fabric. It’s part of what makes us human.
But when we start to base our self-worth solely on the number of likes on a social media post, it can lead to a skewed perception of ourselves and hinder our emotional growth.
While the dopamine rush from receiving likes can give us a temporary high, it’s important to remember that it’s just that – temporary. Our value as individuals goes far beyond the digital thumbs-up we receive online.
Psychologist Carl Rogers once said: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This quote offers a powerful reminder that real self-worth comes from within.
It’s about accepting ourselves, with all our imperfections and quirks, rather than seeking validation from external sources.
So if you recognize some of these behaviors in yourself or someone you know, take it as a starting point for introspection. Question your relationship with social media and its impact on your self-esteem.
Remember, your worth is not determined by the number of likes or followers you have, but by the person you are in real life.
In the grand scheme of things, it’s the love we give and receive, the connections we make, and the lives we touch that truly define our worth.
So let’s focus on nurturing those aspects of our lives, rather than obsessing over our digital popularity. Because at the end of the day, life is too short to be lived on a screen.
