Lachlan Brown
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that feeling truly fulfilled isn’t about what I have—it’s about how I think.
There are certain mindsets that used to hold me back, draining my energy and keeping me stuck in patterns that didn’t serve me.
But the more I learned to let go of them, the lighter and more at peace I felt.
Fulfillment comes from within, and it starts with the way we see ourselves and the world around us.
If you want to feel more content and at ease as you grow older, it’s time to say goodbye to these eight toxic mindsets:
1) “I’ll be happy when…”
For the longest time, I told myself that when I got the right job, when I made more money, or when I finally had everything figured out that I’d be happy by then.
But the problem with this mindset is that “when” keeps moving.
Every time I reached a goal, a new one took its place, and happiness always felt just out of reach.
True fulfillment comes from appreciating where you are right now, not constantly chasing the next milestone.
Goals are great, but if you tie your happiness to them, you’ll always feel like something is missing.
Instead of waiting for some future achievement to bring you joy, start finding it in the present moment.
2) “I can’t change.”
I used to believe that certain things about me were just who I was; I told myself I wasn’t confident enough to speak up, not disciplined enough to stick to healthy habits, not talented enough to pursue my passions.
This mindset kept me stuck for years.
Every time I thought about making a change, I convinced myself it wasn’t possible.
But then, little by little, I started proving myself wrong.
I spoke up in small moments, built tiny habits, and took risks even when I doubted myself.
Over time, I realized that change isn’t about flipping a switch—it’s about taking small steps every day.
We’re always capable of growth.
The moment you stop believing that is the moment you start holding yourself back.
3) “I need to stay busy to be valuable.”
In today’s world, busyness is often seen as a badge of honor, but constantly filling your schedule doesn’t necessarily mean you’re living a meaningful life—it just means you’re occupied.
Chronic busyness has been linked to higher stress levels, reduced creativity, and even a shorter lifespan.
Yet so many people equate their worth with how much they can accomplish in a day.
Rest and reflection are just as important as action.
Slowing down doesn’t make you less valuable—it gives you the space to focus on what truly matters.
4) “My thoughts define me.”
One of the key teachings in Buddhism is that we are not our thoughts.
Yet many of us get stuck believing that every negative thought we have—self-doubt, fear, insecurity—is a reflection of who we truly are.
But thoughts come and go, like clouds passing through the sky—the more we attach to them, the more power they have over us.
True freedom comes when we learn to observe our thoughts without letting them control us.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how Buddhist wisdom can help us detach from limiting beliefs and live with greater clarity and purpose.
When you stop identifying with every passing thought, you create space for inner peace and fulfillment.
You are not your thoughts—you are the awareness behind them.
5) “I have to make everyone happy.”
For a long time, I believed that if the people around me were happy, I would feel at peace.
So, I said yes when I wanted to say no, avoided conflict even when something needed to be said, and carried the weight of other people’s emotions as if they were my own.
But no matter how much I tried, it was never enough.
Someone was always disappointed, upset, or expecting more.
The more I prioritized their happiness over my own, the more exhausted and resentful I became.
You can’t control how other people feel; you can be kind and considerate, but their emotions are not your responsibility.
Letting go of this mindset doesn’t mean you stop caring—it means you start valuing your own well-being just as much as you value theirs.
6) “Success looks a certain way.”
We’re often taught that success follows a clear path—climbing the career ladder, making more money, hitting major life milestones.
The more I chased these traditional markers of success, the more I felt like something was missing.
Success isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula.
For some, it’s about financial achievement; for others, it’s about freedom, creativity, or deep connections.
Sometimes, what looks like “failure” from the outside is actually the smartest step toward a more fulfilling life.
7) “It’s too late for me.”
It’s easy to believe that if we haven’t accomplished something by a certain age, the opportunity has passed—but this mindset only creates unnecessary limits.
Some of the most successful and fulfilled people started over later in life.
Vera Wang didn’t design her first dress until she was 40, and Colonel Sanders franchised KFC at 62.
There’s no expiration date on growth, change, or new beginnings.
The only thing that makes it “too late” is the belief that it is.
As long as you’re still here, you still have time.
8) “I’ll feel fulfilled when life is perfect.”
Life will never be completely free of challenges, uncertainties, or disappointments.
If fulfillment depends on everything going exactly the way you want, you’ll always be chasing something just out of reach.
Real fulfillment comes from learning to be at peace even when life is messy.
It’s about finding meaning in the imperfections, joy in the small moments, and gratitude for what is—right now.
Fulfillment is a mindset
Fulfillment isn’t something you find—it’s something you create by shifting the way you see yourself and the world around you.
It’s about letting go of the mindsets that keep you stuck and embracing the ones that bring you peace.
Much of this wisdom aligns with Buddhist philosophy, which teaches us how to detach from limiting beliefs and live with greater clarity.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how these timeless teachings can help you cultivate a more meaningful, grounded life.
Growth isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about uncovering who you were before these toxic mindsets took hold.
The more you let go of what no longer serves you, the more space you create for genuine fulfillment to take its place.
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