If you struggle to accept compliments, psychology says one of these 7 hidden beliefs might be to blame

Ever get a compliment and find yourself immediately deflecting it, or struggling to believe it’s true? You’re not alone.

Believe it or not, accepting praise can be a real challenge for some of us.

The question is, why? Why do we find it so hard to take a compliment gracefully?

You might think it’s just modesty, but psychology says there might be deeper reasons at play.

In fact, if you’re someone who finds compliments uncomfortable, there could be one of seven hidden beliefs holding you back.

Don’t worry, we’re about to uncover them.

Now, I’m not saying that you have to start gloating or bragging. But learning to accept a compliment with grace and gratitude can be a small yet significant step towards self-love and better mental well-being.

So, if you’re ready to dig a bit deeper into your psyche and possibly understand why you struggle with compliments, then stick around.

Who knows? You might just discover something about yourself that could change the way you perceive praise forever.

1) You’re a perfectionist

Let’s start with a belief that many of us can relate to: Perfectionism.

If you’re a perfectionist, you’re probably your own harshest critic.

You see, perfectionists tend to set incredibly high standards for themselves. And often, they don’t believe they’ve done enough to deserve praise.

The problem is, when you’re constantly striving for perfection, any compliment feels undeserved or even dishonest. After all, you know you could have done better.

But here’s the thing.

Perfection is an illusion. It’s an unattainable standard that we set for ourselves out of fear of making mistakes or being judged by others.

The truth is, it’s okay to make mistakes and it’s okay to be imperfect. In fact, it’s our imperfections that make us human and unique.

So, the next time someone gives you a compliment, instead of deflecting it or downplaying your efforts, try to genuinely thank them and take a moment to appreciate yourself. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about recognizing your efforts and growth.

2) You struggle with low self-esteem

This one hits close to home for me.

I used to struggle with accepting compliments because deep down, I didn’t believe I was worthy of them.

You see, low self-esteem can make you believe that you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve praise.

I remember when my friend complimented me on a presentation I gave at work. Instead of saying thank you, I immediately started pointing out all the things that went wrong.

Looking back, I realize that it wasn’t about the presentation at all. It was about how I saw myself.

If you can relate to this, know that it’s okay to feel this way, but also understand that it’s something you can work on.

Believing in your worth and abilities is a journey. It may take time and effort, but trust me when I say that it’s worth it.

And remember, the compliments people give you are based on their perception of your skills or qualities. 

3) You fear becoming complacent

Isn’t it strange how a simple compliment can stir up fears of complacency?

Let me explain.

Sometimes, we’re afraid that if we start accepting praise, we’ll stop pushing ourselves to do better. That we’ll become satisfied with “good enough” and lose our drive to excel.

Here’s the harsh reality: Success is a moving target. There’s always something more to achieve, something else to learn.

But this doesn’t mean we should dismiss the progress we’ve made.

Compliments aren’t meant to make us complacent; they’re there to acknowledge our achievements and inspire us to continue growing.

So, if you find yourself dismissing praise out of fear of becoming complacent, remember that growth is a lifelong journey.

Receiving a compliment doesn’t mean you have to stop striving for better. It just means you’re on the right path. And there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that.

4) You don’t trust the compliment giver

This is another tricky one.

Sometimes, we struggle to accept compliments because we’re skeptical of the person giving them.

Maybe you think they have an ulterior motive or they’re just trying to flatter you for their own benefit. In a world where people often have agendas, it’s understandable why you might feel this way.

But here’s a thought: Not everyone is out to get something from you.

Many times, people compliment others because they genuinely admire or appreciate something about them.

If you find yourself doubting the intentions of the person complimenting you, take a step back and ask yourself why.

Is it because of past experiences with insincere praise? Or is it more about your own insecurities?

Overcoming this belief requires trust and vulnerability. And while it’s not easy, it can lead to deeper and more meaningful connections with others.

5) You’re not used to receiving compliments

Did you know that the frequency of compliments you receive can impact how comfortable you are with accepting them?

If compliments have been few and far between in your life, you might be unsure about how to respond when you do get them.

It’s like being thrown a ball when you’re not expecting it. You might fumble a bit before catching it.

This isn’t something to be embarrassed about. It’s simply a result of not having much practice.

But here’s the good news: Accepting compliments is a skill that can be learned.

Start by practicing gratitude. Instead of deflecting or downplaying the compliment, simply say “Thank you.”

Over time, this simple act can help you become more comfortable with receiving compliments and recognizing your own worth.

6) You’re uncomfortable being the center of attention

If you’re someone who prefers to stay in the shadows, receiving a compliment can feel like being thrust into the spotlight.

You might feel your cheeks heat up, your heart rate quicken, and a desire to shrink back and disappear.

I want to tell you something: It’s okay to feel this way.

You see, some of us are simply more introverted or shy than others. We prefer to observe rather than be observed. And that’s perfectly fine.

But remember, a compliment is a positive reflection of you. It’s not meant to embarrass or expose you.

The next time you receive a compliment, try to view it as a kind gesture rather than an unwanted spotlight. You might find that it becomes a little easier to accept over time.

7) You don’t believe the compliment to be true

This might be the most challenging belief to overcome.

If you don’t believe the compliment to be true, accepting it feels like agreeing to a lie.

But here’s the most important thing you should know: Your perception of yourself isn’t always accurate.

We’re often harder on ourselves than anyone else could be. We see flaws where others see strengths, we see failures where others see progress.

The truth is, the compliments you receive are often a more accurate reflection of your abilities and achievements than your own self-assessment.

It’s not easy to change this belief, but it’s possible. And it starts by choosing to see yourself through the lens of kindness and understanding, just as your friends and loved ones do.

The takeaway

If you’ve been nodding along to these points, you might have found the underlying beliefs that cause your discomfort with compliments.

Here’s the encouraging part – understanding is the first step toward change.

You see, our beliefs are not static. They can shift and evolve with conscious effort and self-awareness.

Ask yourself: Is this compliment really a threat or an affirmation of my worth? Are these fears and doubts based on any factual evidence or just my insecurities?

This journey of self-discovery and change won’t happen overnight. Be patient with yourself, and remember that every small step counts.

Over time, as you learn to accept compliments with grace, you’ll not only improve your relationships but also enhance your self-esteem and confidence.

Here’s to embracing compliments, celebrating achievements, and most importantly, recognizing our worth. After all, we are all deserving of praise in our unique ways.

With this newfound insight, may you continue your journey toward self-improvement with a kinder view of yourself and a greater acceptance of the positive affirmations that come your way.