If you really want to command respect from the people around you, say goodbye to these 7 subtle habits

Earning respect from others is quite the balancing act. It’s about being genuine, but not oversharing; assertive, but not aggressive.

Yet, it’s often the subtle habits we unknowingly carry around that can prevent us from commanding the respect we desire.

In this piece, I’m going to reveal seven of these sneaky little habits. These are the habits that, when ditched, can transform how others perceive you.

So if you’re serious about garnering respect from those around you, keep reading. Saying goodbye to these seven habits might be your game changer.

1) Apologizing too often

We’ve all met those people who seem to be perpetually sorry.

They apologize for the smallest things, from being a minute late to a meeting or for asking a perfectly reasonable question. It’s as if they’re constantly walking on eggshells, afraid of offending anyone or doing something wrong.

This kind of excessive apologizing, however, can undermine your credibility. It may make you come across as insecure and unsure of yourself, which is not the image you want to project if you’re aiming for respect.

Remember, respect is earned through confidence and competence, not through constant apologies.

It’s always good to own up to your mistakes and apologize when necessary. But saying sorry too frequently can diminish its meaning and convey a lack of self-assuredness.

So, reserve your apologies for situations that truly warrant them. By doing so, you’ll command more respect from the people around you.

2) Over-explaining

I’ll never forget an old boss of mine, let’s call him Mark. Mark was a good guy. But he had this little habit of over-explaining himself. Every decision he made, every action he took, he felt the need to justify it with a lengthy explanation.

At first, it seemed like Mark was just being thorough. But over time, it started to make him look unsure of himself. It was as if he wasn’t confident in his own decisions unless he could talk them out in detail.

This habit of over-explaining can lead others to question your confidence and decision-making abilities. As a result, they may start to lose respect for you.

I learned from watching Mark that being concise and direct, rather than over-explaining, commands more respect. People appreciate brevity and clarity. They respect someone who can make decisions and stand by them without feeling the need to justify every action.

So, if you’re an over-explainer like Mark was, try trimming down your explanations. You’ll likely find that people will respect you more for it.

3) Avoiding eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful tool in human communication. It’s a nonverbal cue that we’re listening, that we’re engaged, and that we’re confident.

Research shows that people who maintain good eye contact are perceived as more credible, trustworthy, and intelligent. On the other hand, avoiding eye contact can make you seem unsure of yourself or even dishonest.

If you’re in the habit of glancing away when you speak or failing to meet someone’s gaze when they’re speaking to you, it’s time to change that. Practice holding eye contact during conversations.

By maintaining good eye contact, you’ll command more respect from those around you. It’s a subtle change, but it can make a significant difference in how others perceive you.

4) Neglecting your posture

Posture is often overlooked, yet it plays a critical role in how we’re perceived by others. Slouching or hunching over can give off an impression of low self-esteem or lack of confidence.

On the other hand, standing tall with your shoulders back and your head held high sends a message of self-assuredness. It shows that you respect yourself and, in turn, encourages others to respect you.

So, pay attention to how you carry yourself. Make it a habit to sit up straight when you’re at your desk and stand tall when you’re in a room full of people.

You might be surprised at the difference this small change can make in earning the respect of those around you.

5) Trying to please everyone

I used to be a bit of a people-pleaser. I was always striving to make everyone happy, bending over backwards to accommodate everyone’s needs and desires.

But over time, I realized this habit was not only exhausting but also counterproductive. I was spreading myself too thin and, in the process, losing sight of my own needs and values.

Trying to please everyone can actually lead to a lack of respect. It portrays you as someone who lacks firm boundaries and can be easily swayed.

You can’t possibly please everyone, and that’s okay. What’s important is standing by your beliefs and principles.

So don’t be afraid to say no when necessary or stand your ground on issues that matter to you. In doing so, you’ll command more respect from those around you.

6) Avoiding conflict

Many of us are guilty of avoiding conflict. It’s uncomfortable, it’s challenging, and it’s often easier to just ignore the problem and hope it goes away.

But here’s the thing: avoiding conflict doesn’t make you look diplomatic or peace-loving. Instead, it can make you come across as someone who lacks the courage to address issues head-on.

Respect doesn’t come from sidestepping problems. It comes from the ability to address issues honestly and constructively, even when it’s uncomfortable.

So, if you tend to avoid conflict, try to change this habit. Learn how to handle disagreements in a healthy and respectful way. It may be tough at first, but it’s a vital step towards commanding respect from those around you.

7) Failing to listen

Listening is the cornerstone of respect. If you’re constantly interrupting or failing to pay attention when others speak, you’re sending a clear message that you don’t value their thoughts or opinions.

Active listening, on the other hand, shows that you respect the speaker and their ideas. It fosters trust and mutual respect.

So, make it a priority to truly listen when others speak. Don’t interrupt, don’t plan your response while they’re still talking, just listen.

This might be the most important habit to cultivate if you truly want to command respect from the people around you.

Final thoughts: It’s about authenticity

The foundation of commanding respect lies in authenticity. Being genuine, being true to yourself, and being consistent in your actions and words.

It’s not about putting on a show or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about owning who you are, flaws and all, and standing up for what you believe in.

Each of the habits we’ve discussed here today tie back to this core principle. Whether it’s apologizing too much, avoiding conflict, failing to listen, or the rest, each one ultimately undermines your authenticity in some way.

So make the choice to be authentically you. Let go of these habits that are holding you back from commanding the respect you deserve.

Remember, respect comes not from the pretense of perfection, but from the courage to be imperfectly you.

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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