Lachlan Brown
I’ve always been fascinated by what makes some people seemingly unshakable in the face of adversity while others crumble under pressure.
And through my own experiences and research, I’ve come to realize that resilience isn’t just about bouncing back; it’s about how we frame challenges and control our emotions.
The ancient Stoics understood this better than most.
Figures like Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus lived through war, exile, and personal tragedy—yet remained steadfast. Their philosophy wasn’t just theoretical; it was deeply practical, offering habits and mindsets that continue to shape the most resilient people today.
In this article, we’ll dive into five Stoic habits that can help you build unshakable resilience.
These habits have transformed the way I handle challenges, and they might do the same for you.
Let’s get into ‘em.
1. They focus on what’s in their control
One of the core teachings of Stoicism is pretty straightforward: Divide the world into two categories—what you can control and what you can’t. Then direct your energy to what you can influence.
It might sound obvious, but it’s a game-changer.
So many of us burn out by obsessing over things like other people’s opinions, unexpected events at work, or market downturns we can’t alter. I’ve been there—caught up in a cycle of worry over things way beyond my reach. It never ended well.
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” This line from Marcus Aurelius always resonates with me.
Focusing on what you can control—your mindset, your reactions, your daily habits—truly empowers you to navigate life’s storms with a sense of calm. It’s like putting on mental armor.
2. They practice negative visualization
When I first heard about “negative visualization,” I thought it sounded a bit…well, negative.
However, the Stoics saw it as a crucial tool.
Rather than wallowing in worst-case scenarios, they used these mental rehearsals to build emotional muscle. By periodically imagining how situations might go sideways, they prepared themselves for real-life curveballs.
It might look like this: If you’re planning a big event, you briefly imagine complications—a mix-up in scheduling, unpredictable weather, or a late vendor.
Instead of freaking out, you think through a plan B or plan C. Then, if something does go wrong, you handle it with more grace and less panic because you’ve already “been there” in your mind.
3. They reframe conflict with understanding
It’s easy to take things personally. A rude comment, a dismissive coworker, a friend who lets you down—it can all feel like a direct attack. But the Stoics took a different approach.
Instead of reacting with anger or resentment, they sought to understand where the other person was coming from. Perhaps, Marcus Aurelius put it best:
“When a man offends against you, think at once what conception of good or ill it was which made him offend. And seeing this, you will pity him, and feel neither surprise nor anger.”
In other words, people act based on their own perceptions, experiences, and struggles. If someone is rude or unfair, it’s often more about them than about you. Recognizing this can shift your perspective from frustration to empathy—and that’s a power move.
The next time someone rubs you the wrong way, try stepping back and asking: What might be driving their behavior?
You don’t have to excuse bad actions, but understanding them can keep you from wasting energy on unnecessary anger.
4. They detach from external validation
“How great a rest from labour he gains who does not look to what his neighbour says or does or thinks but only what himeslf is doing” – Marcus Aurelius
Look, we all want to be liked. It’s human nature to enjoy praise and shy away from criticism.
However, truly resilient people don’t let their well-being hinge on the shifting opinions of others. They understand that pinning your self-worth on external approval is a recipe for emotional rollercoasters.
Instead, they create an inner compass that guides their actions, aligned with their values and sense of purpose.
Of course, feedback from family, friends, or mentors can be helpful. But there’s a difference between considering feedback and being defined by it.
A few years ago, when I started writing regularly, I was glued to metrics—page views, likes, shares. If a post didn’t get enough traction, I’d question my entire career path.
Over time, I realized that while it’s important to understand how your work is received, it shouldn’t dictate your self-esteem.
5. They reflect through journaling
To wrap things up, one habit I see over and over in resilient folks is keeping a journal.
It doesn’t have to be a fancy leather-bound notebook or a super-structured daily practice. But they do make time to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) to process their thoughts.
Why is journaling such a potent Stoic tool? It creates a space for self-reflection and self-correction.
Marcus Aurelius himself was big on writing down his reflections—his personal notes eventually became the famous book known now as Meditations.
Journaling can reveal patterns in your reactions, highlight areas you’ve grown, and shine a light on where you might need extra work.
On a personal note, when I find myself tangled in stress or uncertain about a decision, opening my journal helps me gain perspective. There’s something about seeing your thoughts in black and white that clarifies things.
And once I notice unhelpful patterns—like focusing too much on what others think—I can take steps to recalibrate.
Final words
Resilience isn’t reserved for the toughest among us. It’s a skill we can all nurture, step by step, by applying these Stoic-inspired habits in our day-to-day lives.
From focusing on what’s in our control, to mentally rehearsing challenges, to focusing on understanding, to detaching from external validation, and finally, to reflecting on it all through journaling—these five practices pack a powerful punch.
They don’t guarantee a problem-free life (Stoics never promised that), but they do promise that you’ll be better equipped to handle life’s inevitable ups and downs.
When chaos hits—and it will—you’ll find you’re no longer thrown around by the whims of fate. Instead, you’ll face adversity with a steady mind and a resilient heart.
So don’t just read about these habits—try them. Put them into practice, reflect on the results, and slowly but surely, watch your resilience grow. After all, life might not get easier, but you’ll get stronger.
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