Ghosting has to be one of the worst things about modern dating.
Everything’s supposedly going well; it seems like he’s as invested in you as you are in him when he goes radio silence out of nowhere.
Is it you? Is it something you did? Is it your hair?
It can definitely shake your confidence and make you feel like something is inherently wrong with you, which is exactly what ghosters want to make you feel.
With their big egos, they stomp from one relationship to another thinking their presence will put a dent in someone else’s life.
They thrive on being the center of attention.
The last thing you should do is give ghosters a sense of accomplishment and purpose, and you can do that by showing them that their presence never meant as much as they thought it did.
It’s a little bit tricky because you can’t really make them pay when they’ve stopped talking to you, but with some slyness, you can make a ghost think twice about dropping the ball on you.
1) Show Him You’re Over Him
One of the trickier parts about being ghosted is toeing that balance between asserting self-respect and making sure he doesn’t find out that he’s made a significant impact on you.
Ghosters thrive on drama and they especially enjoy the feeling of being able to leave a mark on someone even after they’ve left.
Ghosters want to feel important, and that’s exactly what you shouldn’t make him feel.
When you notice that he’s ghosting you, don’t even acknowledge it. Act as if cutting contact doesn’t make a difference in your life.
Make him feel like he’s just one of the many who have the pleasure of talking with you and that his departure isn’t in any way noticeable.
2) Give Him A Taste Of His Own Medicine
Ghosters leave without warning because they often think the other person doesn’t deserve any sort of closure.
This typically stems from a big ego, and one way to challenge that is by turning the tables against him.
The next time he reaches out to you or bumps into you, maybe act like you don’t even remember him.
Ghosters typically assume that they leave hurt and pain in their wake; don’t give him what he craves.
Call him by a different name or look puzzled and act indifferent when he talks to you.
The last thing he’d expect is a cold shoulder so this should send him questioning his own self-worth.
3) Don’t Be Available
He’ll probably haunt you now and then when he wants his ego fed.
The next time he reaches out acting as if nothing ever happened, definitely don’t give them the time of day.
This type of guy treats women as save points; he thinks he can leave whenever he wants and pick up the game again at his convenience.
He’ll make up excuses for his absence and might even convince you to drop everything and talk to him; don’t let him.
Know that he doesn’t deserve even a fraction of your time and that he’s already wasted his chance the first time around.
4) Exude Confidence
Being ignored is rough, and anyone’s self-esteem is bound to take a hit.
It’s totally normal to feel a little less attractive; after all, a guy you liked just stopped talking to you out of the blue.
Don’t make it mean anything more than it is. Realize that this is more of a reflection of him than it is an objective appraisal of you.
Ghosters feed their ego by bruising someone else’s; if a guy is so unstable he needs to put other people down to get a little lift, he wasn’t worth your time in the first place.
So ignore the voices in your head telling you you’re unattractive.
Nothing’s changed from when you started dating up to the time he ghosted you; it has nothing to do with you.
Keep being yourself and don’t even waste time figuring out “what went wrong” because nothing did.
5) Make Instagram Your BFF
Getting social media revenge isn’t always ideal and all the likes in the world probably won’t heal a broken heart.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t share how good your life is even after he left.
This kind of guy relishes the idea of having their absence be so noticeable it puts a dent in someone’s routine.
One of the best ways to show him that life carries on without him is by living your life as you did before.
But maybe a little more public. And maybe a little more joyously.
6) Share Your New Exploits
You’re not the only one who’s replaceable.
Fight fire with fire by giving him a taste of his own medicine.
When he sees that you’re all loved up and moved on (with someone nicer and more considerate, no less) he might just second guess his self-worth and realize he’s not all that after all.
We’re not talking about posting suggestive selfies in bed.
Just cute snaps with glimpses of your new dates should be enough to intrigue him, or at the very least, let him know for sure that your confidence hasn’t taken a hit after he left.
7) Generally Learn To Love Yourself Even More
Exuding confidence, sharing your exploits, showing him that you’ve moved on: all of these are easier said than done.
At the end of the day, you’re still getting over this guy who ghosted you.
So how do you generally ignore the pain (or annoyance) you might be feeling and start acting completely fine?
Simple: love yourself. Remind yourself what it means to be in love with not another person, but with yourself.
If he ghosted you then he was never meant to be yours, and you were never meant to be his.
But one person who will always be yours? You.
So ignore everything you might be feeling at the moment, and remember: the most important person to love is yourself.
And show yourself your love by treating your mind and body with the positivity it deserves.
8) Do New and Exciting Things
So a guy you kind of liked ghosted you.
Of course, you feel bad about it; how could you not?
So what are you going to do about it — sit in your room, brood all day, and complain to your friends about it?
No — go out there and get on with your life.
And don’t just get on with your life: start adding new and exciting things to your routine.
So how will this hurt him?
He’ll realize that you weren’t actually the girl he thought you were.
If he sees on social media that you’ve been doing a dozen different things that you never even talked about with him, he’ll immediately feel the regret of losing you.
It could be his hand holding yours while you go and experience the world at its finest; instead, the only thing he’s holding now is his phone.
9) Date Someone Better Than Him
What’s the most common reason why people ghost each other?
While there are a dozen reasons for it, one of the most common ones is, you think you can do better than whoever you’ve been building this with.
Maybe you slowly start to think that this person isn’t really “on your level” and so isn’t worth your time, so you start feeling the urge to ditch them and move on to someone else.
So the best way to get back at a guy who does this to you?
Find someone who is significantly better than him and date him.
No one likes knowing that their ex — even if it was just someone they were talking with — is now dating someone objectively better than them.
It might not be the easiest task — finding someone more successful, more handsome, or even just kinder and more positive — but if you can pull it off, it’ll be the quickest way to make him feel two inches tall.
10) Forget All About Him
It hurts. It bothers you, it irritates you. You hate that he ghosted you, and you want him to be negatively affected the way his ghosting negatively affected you.
But getting that kind of satisfaction isn’t always going to happen overnight. The best revenge you can do to him is to forget all about him.
You need to get to a point where he’s not even a memory anymore. His name shouldn’t ring a bell, and his face should be barely recognizable.
He should mean nothing to you anymore, not only because you’ve successfully suppressed the memories, but also because you’ve made your life so amazing that his memories mean nothing.
Then one day, someday, he’ll see you, think about you, or try to hit you up.
And your genuine, honest, forgetfulness — the kind that you can’t fake — will hurt him more than anything else you could do.
If he doesn’t regret ghosting you now, he will definitely regret ghosting you by then.
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