Do you like to do things your own way and stand apart from the crowd?
Do you feel annoyed by groupthink and frustrated with conformity?
Do you get your kicks on your own terms and work for your goals solo without wanting or needing recognition?
In short: do you have a lone wolf personality?
Let’s find out…
The top 10 signs you have a lone wolf personality
1) You know yourself well
The truth is that many people spend their whole life never really getting to know themselves.
Lone wolves don’t have that problem.
One of the clearest signs you have a lone wolf personality is that you are highly self-aware. You are aware of your shortcomings, your strengths, and your potential.
You’re humble and realistic, but also self-confident and proactive. You don’t push down emotions, but you also don’t revel in negative emotions or victimhood.
You know yourself well and know how to optimize your life in every aspect.
“Many people choose to ignore their thoughts and emotions. Loners choose to embrace these feelings and become fully aware of them.
Self-awareness is very important and difficult to achieve. Loners know themselves better than anyone else, and this allows them to understand those around them better.”
2) You’re self-motivated
An aspect of the lone wolf personality that’s extremely positive is that lone wolf personality types tend to be highly self-motivated.
You don’t wait around for others to be ready.
You get going on your own terms and run with the ball to the finish line.
If you have a project or goal you stick to it until you succeed or fail, and when you get a setback you try again.
You’re self-motivated to the point of obsession and you don’t feel the need for others to tell you whether what you’re doing makes sense or not.
Because in your heart you know it does.
When you have an idea it inspires and energizes you, keeping you up at night as you strategize and plan about how to bring it to fruition.
Being self-motivated it certainly a trait of a lone wolf.
Not passively accepting things is certainly a special trait of a critical thinker.
What other special traits do you have? What makes you unique and exceptional?
To help you find the answer, I’ve created a fun quiz. Answer a few personal questions and I’ll reveal what your personality “superpower” is and how you can utilize it to make the world a better place.
3) You’re a creative and original thinker
One of the best signs you have a lone wolf personality is that you think for yourself and have a creative and unique mind, as Justin Brown explains his his video below.
You approach issues from your own angle and you work through challenges in your personal and professional life in your own innovative way.
You see things others tend to miss, and to paint outside the lines.
As the Future of Working website notes, being a lone wolf is not necessarily a bad thing at all, and lone wolf employees can bring amazing benefits to the table.
“We must first stop the assumption that a lone wolf personality is a bad thing.
Some creative people bring amazing results to the table when their individuality is allowed to operate freely. We shouldn’t overlook people with this personality type when opportunities present themselves. A lone wolf can be an amazing leader.
A preference for working alone doesn’t mean there isn’t the skill needed to work in teams.”
4) They know what they want in relationships
Lone wolves don’t need a relationship to be fulfilled.
You don’t need a companion for the sake of it, or a partner to show off to people.
That doesn’t mean love wolves don’t make excellent romantic partners. They do, because they know what they want from a relationship, and most importantly, what their partner needs from them.
Case in point.
I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this revolutionary concept is about three main drivers all men have, deeply ingrained in their DNA.
This is something most women don’t know about.
But once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger this.
Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do lone wolves really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?
Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel locked in the tower to make him see you as the one.
The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.
The easiest way to do this is by checking out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.
Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.
All of that and more is included in this informative free video, so make sure to check it out if you want to make him yours for good.
It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.
5) You get annoyed by small talk
On a related note, like I said, chitchat annoys and bores you if you’re a lone wolf.
You don’t want to hear someone’s life story for no reason or sit through a random performance or show.
You’re only into what you’re into and that’s it.
If someone wants to talk about the weather or how their car had some minor problems last week, a lone wolf personality will fade out quickly.
This can be interpreted as being non-empathetic or detached, but really it’s just that the drama and problems of other people don’t strike you as your business when you’re more of a lone wolf.
Sure you empathize…
But you also aren’t sure what to do with the information or what input to provide…
So you tend to tune out from the small talk and get a little annoyed by it.
“Small talk is often commonplace in social settings, and while you know it’s typical, you don’t particularly care for it.”
6) You prefer quality friends over quantity
When it comes to friendship, many people believe that the lone wolf doesn’t like socializing.
This isn’t true at all.
It’s more that they don’t like socializing randomly or with people they don’t really like much.
Isn’t that true for all of us, you might ask?
Well, frankly, I know people who socialize with everyone and will just talk to strangers for an hour because they can.
In fact, I’m one of them (spoiler: I’m not a lone wolf).
Lone wolves love having friends and socializing at the right time, but they tend to be very selective about who joins their wolfpack.
That means that casual chit-chat and random friendships are usually off the table.
Psychologist Anna LeMind explains this well, writing that:
“You see no point in having shallow relationships based more on social obligation than on genuine interest. Thus, you will build relationships and friendships only with authentic, deep, and loyal people you resonate with.
If someone turns out to be fake or a bad influence, you don’t hesitate to cut this individual out of your life..”
7) You are direct with others
Lone wolves don’t tend to beat around the bush.
They communicate directly. If they’re happy with someone they say so, if they’re not they also make it known. This can lead to some conflict, but overall it’s often the best policy.
Among the various signs you have a lone wolf personality, this one varies from person to person, but it’s often true.
You prefer to communicate directly because you want to minimize unnecessary and excessive communication.
And we all know what leads to endless blabber and confusion:
Not saying what you mean and being unclear.
So lone wolf personality types tend to just lay it all out there.
They say how they feel and let the chips fall where they may, and – unlike some folks – if they say it they probably mean it.
8) You recharge when you’re alone
Lone wolves are introverts who get most of their energy when they’re alone.
If you’re a lone wolf you want nothing more after a long day of work than to go home and curl up with a cup of tea or a glass of bourbon.
You’re not interested in hitting up the pub or going out to dinner with friends. You just want to chill.
And maybe howl at the moon just a bit…
And if you spend too much time in big groups or around others you will often find your energy levels plummeting and your mental clarity and ability to focus going down the drain.
“The same power and independence that a wolf walks with is the same attitude that resonates within you.
You hold on to your sense of freedom in everything you do. And you love taking time out to be by yourself because that’s when you can get in touch with your feelings.
Being in tune with your emotions is important to you and quiet time helps you do that.”
9) You don’t tolerate abuse or betrayal
Lone wolves don’t take crap from anyone, and if they get double-crossed or treated poorly they make their boundaries clear.
In the same way that they don’t need the approval of others to be happy or get motivated, they don’t need the criticism or bad treatment of others as some kind of badge of honor.
They won’t put up with being treated badly or being gaslighted.
Lone wolves aren’t easy to manipulate or string along, and in relationships, they won’t tolerate being cheated on or ghosted.
They put their foot down and establish boundaries that nobody ever gets to cross without paying the price.
Lone wolves don’t blame themselves for other people’s negative behavior or just take it because they think they deserve it.
They stand up for themselves and kick anyone out of the wolfpack who doesn’t abide by its code.
We’ve all been warned.
10) You fight for what’s right — no matter what
One of the strongest traits and signs you have a lone wolf personality is that you never back down from your core values.
You stand up for what you believe is right no matter how unpopular or difficult it is.
Your inner moral compass doesn’t shift and is always calibrated to true north.
You don’t bend to peer pressure, threats, or cajoling in any way on the matters which are important to you.
Whether it’s politics and economic views or personal values and beliefs about relationships, the lone wolf will never accommodate or hide their views just to fit in or make others more comfortable.
At times the lone wolf will be loved by all; at other times they will be hated by all. But they don’t waver in what they stand and fight for.
Because they’re not doing it for the social media likes or the outer recognition: they’re doing it out of their own inner values and priorities.
BONUS: You’re not easy to read
One of the more subtle signs you have a lone wolf personality is that you’re hard to read.
People may call you mysterious, distant or aloof, but the truth is you just don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.
The lone wolf feels strongly and experiences life in all its flavors, but he or she keeps that deeper inner aspect to themselves.
Lone wolf personality types make great poker players, as you can imagine because you can’t tell what they’re thinking or feeling from their facial expressions.
They hold themselves in check and save their inner vulnerability for those who deserve it, not just for the whole wide world to see.
Lone wolves are private and are a special breed, roaming high on the steppes and keeping the mysteries of their heart to themselves.
As the German author Herman Hesse wrote in his amazing 1927 book Steppenwolf about the iconic lone wolf Harry Haller:
“You, Harry, have been an artist and a thinker, a man full of joy and faith, always on the track of what is great and eternal, never content with the trivial and petty.”
Welcome to the club
If you have a lone wolf personality, you’re not alone!
Lone wolves are all among us.
And even though the term “lone wolf” has come to be associated with negative and violent events, the truth is that having a lone wolf personality is not in the least bit threatening or aggressive.
It simply means you like to do things your way and thrive in introverted environments.
Lone wolves do great things every day that many of us find hard to achieve because those with lone wolf personalities don’t crave outer approval or motivation, and they come back from disappointment and failure quicker and with less fanfare.
They just get the job done and go for the stars.
Listen to Frank Sinatra’s timeless 1969 rendition of “My Way” and embrace your inner lone wolf!
“Yes, there were times I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way.”
Putting yourself first
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever your goals are, there’s a hidden trap in how you set them.
The trap is this:
You’ll only experience genuine life satisfaction when your goals are aligned with your values.
Because when values and goals are aligned, you enjoy the journey much more. And this makes achieving your goals much more likely.
If you find it hard to articulate your deeper life values, I suggest downloading the free values exercise by career coach Jeanette Brown.
It takes only a couple of minutes and will reveal a number of powerful insights about your underlying values.