10 little things couples can do to boost each other’s self-esteem

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Our self-esteem impacts almost everything we do in a relationship.

From how we love one another to what we do in our everyday life.

Research has shown that having good self-esteem means you’re more likely to be happier in your romantic relationship.

But because our partners can be the person whose opinion we value the most, it’s easy to be dragged down by the little things they say (or, more often, don’t say).

That’s why it’s so important for couples to be mindful of how their words and actions affect their partners.

We all want happy relationships, and the best way to get there is to lift each other up and boost each other’s self-esteem as much as we can.

Let’s find out the 10 little things couples can do to boost each other’s self-esteem.

1) Compliment each other daily

Compliments make the world go around. I know that isn’t the saying, but it should be.

According to studies, getting a compliment lights up parts of your brain in a similar way to when you get given money.

It also helps you learn new motor skills and behaviors.

But, perhaps the biggest benefit of all, is that it makes us feel good.

This is especially true when it comes to our romantic partners.

Because they “know” us the most, with oversight of the good and the bad in us, getting a compliment from them is even more special.

If you want your partner to feel good about themselves, make time to compliment them every day.

2) Celebrate each other’s successes, even the small ones

Making your partner feel good about themselves and their achievements should be one of your biggest goals in a healthy relationship.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to celebrate the little things that happen in your partner’s life, no matter how small they are.

Like if they win $5 on the lotto, get their car cleaned (finally), or wear those new pair of pants they’ve been too afraid to wear until now.

It’s easy to get complacent about how many things we actually achieve every day.

I know that so many times I think something I’ve done isn’t a big deal.

But then I tell my boyfriend about it and he makes the biggest fuss and congratulates me.

It makes me feel good and the feeling lasts.

So do the same for your partner and you can bet it’ll put a smile on their face and maybe even boost their self-esteem.

3) Show appreciation for one another

Feeling valued and appreciated is one of our most basic needs as humans, according to experts at NBC News.

We all love feeling appreciated, especially by our partners.

This is particularly true when it’s an appreciation for something specific.

For example, on my first holiday with my boyfriend, I picked up both of our pool towels and hung them up outside while we were getting ready for dinner.

He noticed and made sure to thank me for it later. He said he was really grateful that I picked up his towel as well as my own.

It wasn’t a big deal for me, but having him appreciate me for this little thing I’d done for him was a great feeling that I’ll always remember.

So, next time your partner asks you if you want a cup of tea while they’re making one, give them a hug and say thank you for all they do for you.

Or if they drive you both somewhere, let them know you appreciate that they always take the wheel (quite literally).

To go the extra mile, get them a little something to show your thanks even more.

Like buying them their favorite Starbucks on your way home from the gym. Or sending flowers to their work.

Whether it’s big or small, just say thank you and make sure they know they’re appreciated for all they do for you.

4) Avoid making jokes at each other’s expense

Humor is a great way to lighten the mood and keep a relationship healthy.

In fact, research by NCBI showed couples who laugh together feel closer and more supported, and overall happier in their relationship.

If your relationship is built on sarcasm, friendly banter, and mimicking one another, then you’re likely always laughing about something or other.

But all relationships usually have things you can joke about, and things you can’t.

Insecurities, especially those that relate to weight and sexual performance issues, are usually the main things couples shouldn’t tease one another about.

This is particularly important in teenagers.

A new study found that weight-related teasing led adolescents to have lower self-esteem and more depressive symptoms.

But regardless of age, it’s best to avoid making any weight-related jokes at each other’s expense.

Especially if what’s on the scales is your partner’s biggest insecurity.

5) Post about each other on social media

Posting about your partner on social media is another way to make them feel good about themselves.

Studies have shown that when you include a boyfriend or girlfriend in your posts, it decreases their negative feelings (commonly felt with being online) and increases feelings of intimacy and relationship satisfaction.

Plus, when you post a boyfriend or girlfriend online, even without a cute caption, you’re showing them off to all your friends and family.

You’re essentially telling everyone, “This is my partner and I’m proud to be with them!”.

Posting is so quick and easy to do, but it can make a big difference in how your partner perceives themselves and your relationship overall.

6) Don’t point out each other’s flaws

If your partner has a new spot on their face, chances are, they already know about it.

Pointing it out to them or telling them how big/obvious it is can chip away at their self-esteem.

While laughing with one another can be playful and enjoyable, it can also be destructive to your partner’s self-esteem if the joke is taken too far.

7) Talk about relationship issues with care and respect

Shouting at your partner, being aggressive, and getting angry about something they did to hurt you isn’t a good way of approaching a conversation.

It can hurt their feelings and make them feel bad about themselves.

This is especially true if it’s about something they never knew would upset you, where they would have preferred to have talked about the issue instead of being hurled abuse.

Talking about the issue with care and consideration, rather than attacking your partner, can boost their self-esteem and not make them feel like they suck at relationships.

8) Stand up for each other, even when the other person isn’t present

Healthy couples don’t allow others to badmouth their partners or mock them in their presence.

Instead, they stand up for one another, even when their partner isn’t present.

Sure, they won’t know if you don’t tell them.

But if you want your partner to feel good about themselves, standing up for them, even when they’re not around, should be instinctive.

9) Don’t criticize each other in public or behind each other’s backs

Being criticized by anyone negatively impacts your self-esteem, according to research.

This is especially true if the negativity is coming from your partner, the person whose opinion you trust and value the most.

Couples in happy, healthy relationships don’t criticize or undermine each other in public.

If you want your partner to feel good about themselves, don’t criticize them in front of others, and don’t do it behind their back either.

If we find out later that our boyfriend/girlfriend was trash-talking everyone’s ear off at the recent party, it won’t be good for our self-esteem.

10) Talk to each other, not about each other

Everyone needs to vent on occasion, including about their partner.

But, as much as you may be tempted to, experts recommend always talking to one another about issues in a relationship, rather than behind each other’s backs.

Good communication is the foundation of a strong, healthy relationship.

There’s nothing more damaging to your self-esteem than knowing your partner’s friends despise you because you’ve told them about every little argument you’ve had.

Just remember that sometimes it’s good to get a different perspective on things.

This is especially important if your partner has done something to really hurt you, like cheated, stolen money, or been physically or verbally abusive.

Final thoughts

Essentially, you want to make your boyfriend or girlfriend feel good about themselves to maintain a happy, healthy relationship.

Whether that’s by buying them their favorite chocolate bar when you’re at the shops, or complimenting them every day.

When you build each other up, your happiness, relationship, and life, overall, will feel so much better and brighter.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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