Liv Walde
Life likes to toss curveballs our way, leaves us covered with battle scars, and ultimately, delivers a great deal of wisdom.
But wouldn’t it be delightful if we could access some of life’s greatest secrets without needing the accompanying bruises?
While we can’t fast-forward time,we can borrow some wisdom from those who have stumbled and survived before us.
Here are seven under-the-radar life lessons that most people only realize with the clarity of hindsight:
1) Not all battles are worth fighting
One person looking at you in the wrong way, another mildly disagreeing with what you have to say…
It’s easy to feel the fire rise up within you and start preparing yourself for battle.
We ride at dawn!
But with age comes the knowledge that not every fight is worth expending your energy.
Choosing your battles doesn’t make you weak – it makes you wise.
Some people won’t be convinced, no matter how much evidence or passion you present. On top of that (and linking to our second point), sometimes people just have different opinions or thought processes to us.
There’s little point in arguing until you’re blue in the face when someone simply grew up differently, or sees the world in different colors.
Screaming louder when someone doesn’t understand you isn’t always the answer.
And sometimes you need to switch up your weaponry— try empathy, patience, or simply a different day for that important conversation.
2) Everyone is the main character of their own story
We see the world through our own unique lens, colored by our experiences, traumas, and dreams.
When constantly exposed to our own thoughts, it becomes easy to forget that everyone else has this same complex inner world.
That co-worker who seems curt isn’t always rude; maybe they’re fighting a silent battle. That friend who never has time for you could be struggling with something you know nothing about.
Before you write someone off, pause.
Consider what you don’t see. You may not be able to fully walk in their shoes, but that bit of perspective might be enough to bridge a seemingly impossible gap.
3) Being busy doesn’t equal being important
We live in a society that glorifies hustle culture.
Brownie points to you for rising and shining at 5am, for downing 6 coffees (until you’re twitchy and on edge). For scarpering from meeting to workout class to picking up the kids, then back to work. For having 1000 unread emails flooding your inbox daily, to the point that you never really get it down to 0.
All that, and busyness itself is still not an achievement.
You might feel more productive when you’re swamped, but the truth is that expending precious energy on mundane and slightly soul-crushing tasks does no good for the soul.
Realizing what was truly important to you, not just what felt urgent, will fill your cup up far more than a deluge of petty chores.
So, if you’re still cramming your schedule, try to make deliberate space for the things that recharge you – even if it means occasionally saying “no” to the others.
4) “Fitting in” is so overrated
Remember those awkward school years, desperately trying to find your tribe?
Unfortunately, the longing to belong can plague us well into adulthood.
We still fear rejection and covet conformity. We tailor ourselves to fit the group, to not rock the boat.
But still, there’s incredible freedom in shedding the need to blend into a sea of everyone else, like sheep.
When you start truly embracing your quirks (your feather collection, your deep love of taxidermy, the fact that you eat Graham crackers for breakfast every morning), you attract genuine connections. Maybe even people who like Graham crackers as much as you…
You might surprise yourself to find that the people who love the real you are far more valuable allies than those who accepted a watered-down version.
5) “What if” is a dangerous thought trap
“What if I’d taken that job?”
“What if I’d spoken up at that meeting?”
“What if I hadn’t dumped that ex?”
On and on the ‘what-ifs’ go, spiralling into narratives where, having taken that job, you somehow end up President.
Regret can be a crippling companion.
We construct alternate realities in our minds, torturing ourselves over paths untaken and possibilities of glitzy and glamorous lives that we, personally, have eradicated through our seemingly poor choices.
But here’s the thing: “what if” only holds power if you let it. And half the time, those realities don’t exist as possibilities anyway.
It’s far more productive to apply those buckets of energy to the present. Rather than ruminating on what could have been, maybe try to make a bold choice now – one that really honors that past “what if”.
6) Perfection is a Pinterest board (not reality!)
Social media bombards us with picture-perfect lives; airbrushed skin, flawless and grinning happily families, fairytale-esque tales of how two fated lovers met.
What it doesn’t show us are those key moments that reflect the messy, beautiful reality of being human.
Plus, you tend not to see the real deal behind these picture-perfect lives; the insecurities, the obsession, the darkness hidden behind these idyllic facades.
And whilst ensnared by the desire to be better, to match yourself to other people’s highlight reels, you inevitably end up crushing your own confidence in the game of comparison.
Striving for excellence is admirable, but perfectionism becomes our enemy when it leads to paralysis or constant self-criticism.
It’s also so important to recognize the illusion presented online – no one’s life is that perpetually polished.
7) Your inner critic is not a life coach
The voice inside our head can be our harshest critic.
“You’re not good enough.”
“You’re ugly.”
“You’ll never succeed, so no point in trying.”
Learning to tame that inner critic is one of life’s most essential skills.
And whilst taming it is generally a lifelong process, the sooner you start practicing gratitude and compassion towards yourself, the sweeter it’ll get. No more berating lectures or chastising comments – it will start to mimic the love you give it and give just as much back to you.
If your inner critic tends to err on the pessimistic side, try and pay more attention to the negative self-talk you’re allowing in your head.
Question it: Is what it’s saying true? Is it being kind? Would you speak to a good friend in the same tone?
Try to view yourself in the same way you view your closest loved ones, and if you wouldn’t think/say those comments to them, avoid saying them to yourself!
Conclusion
Life’s lessons are often forged in the heat of experience. While we can’t rewind the clock, we can choose to learn from the insights of others.
Will you wait until hindsight brings these lessons into sharp focus, or will you make the conscious choice to live a more intentional, fulfilling life today?
The path you choose will shape the wisdom you carry into your future, so choose carefully.
Hopefully there is a lesson or two on this list that you can take away and focus on, so you too learn it sooner rather than later!
