Eliza Hartley
As humans, we often have to stumble before we can truly stand tall. We make mistakes, face hardships, and sometimes learn our most valuable lessons through the toughest trials.
These are what we call life lessons – the hard truths that we often learn the hard way.
They might be painful to endure, but they are crucial for our personal growth and understanding of the world.
Psychology suggests that these lessons are not only inevitable but necessary for us to become mature, resilient, and wise.
In this article, I’ll share with you some of these tough lessons that most of us must face in our journey through life.
My hope is that recognizing these lessons might help you navigate your own path with a bit more insight and preparedness. Let’s dive in.
1) Failure is a part of life
Failure is something that we all must face, but it’s often seen as a negative experience, something to be feared and avoided.
However, according to psychology, failure isn’t just inevitable; it’s actually essential for our growth and development.
It’s in the moments of failure that we learn our most valuable lessons.
We discover our strengths and weaknesses, we learn about resilience and determination, and we uncover new ways to approach problems.
You might experience failure in various aspects of your life – in your career, in relationships, or even in personal endeavours.
You might not get that job you wanted, or a relationship might end, or a project might not turn out the way you had hoped.
The key is not to see these failures as definitive endpoints, but rather as stepping stones on your path to success.
They are opportunities for learning, for growth, and for improvement.
So don’t fear failure. Embrace it. Learn from it. And let it shape you into the person you are destined to become.
2) You can’t control everything
Life is unpredictable and no matter how much we plan or prepare, things can go awry.
This can be a tough lesson to learn, especially for those of us who like to have a sense of control over our surroundings and outcomes.
There are many things in life that we simply cannot control – the actions of others, unexpected events, or even our own emotions and reactions at times.
You might try to control a situation by planning meticulously, or try to control how someone else behaves by offering advice or guidance.
But in the end, you’ll find that these efforts often lead to frustration and disappointment.
The lesson here is to focus on what you can control: your own actions, your own responses, your own attitudes.
By letting go of the need to control everything around you, you open yourself up to serenity and peace.
Remember, it’s not about surrendering to fate but about understanding where your real power lies – in your own actions and reactions.
So let go of what you can’t control and focus on what you can.
3) Being busy doesn’t mean being productive
In our fast-paced world, being busy is often seen as a badge of honour.
We fill our schedules to the brim, rushing from one task to another, believing that the busier we are, the more we’re achieving.
But here’s the catch. Just because you’re busy, doesn’t mean you’re being productive.
You might be spending hours on a task that could be done in half the time. Or maybe you’re focusing on tasks that aren’t actually moving you towards your goals.
Sometimes, less is more. Taking time to rest and recharge can actually increase your productivity. It can boost your creativity, improve your focus, and prevent burnout.
So don’t equate busyness with productivity. Take time for yourself, prioritize your tasks effectively, and remember that it’s okay to take a break.
Your worth is not measured by how busy you are, but by how effectively you manage your time and energy.
4) Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay
This is a tough pill to swallow. We all have an innate desire to be liked, to be accepted, to fit in. But the harsh reality is, not everyone will like you, and that’s perfectly okay.
You might be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who doesn’t like peaches.
It’s not a reflection on your worth or your character, it’s simply a matter of personal preference.
You could bend over backwards trying to please everyone, but at the end of the day, you’ll realize it’s an impossible and exhausting task. You can’t control others’ perceptions or opinions of you.
What matters is that you like yourself. That you respect yourself. That you know your worth isn’t defined by others’ opinions.
So don’t waste your energy trying to make everyone happy.
Be true to yourself, live authentically, and the right people will appreciate and love you for who you are.
5) It’s okay to ask for help
We all have moments of struggle, times when the weight of the world feels too heavy to bear alone.
It’s during these times that we often feel the need to put on a brave face, to hide our struggles and deal with our problems on our own.
But here’s the truth: it’s okay to ask for help.
No one is expected to go through life completely alone, solving all their problems without assistance. We all need support, guidance, and sometimes, a helping hand.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength. It takes courage to admit that you’re struggling and need support.
It shows that you value yourself enough to take care of your mental and emotional wellbeing.
So remember, you don’t have to do it all alone.
Reach out to friends, family, or professionals when you need support. There is strength in vulnerability, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.
6) Comparing yourself to others leads to dissatisfaction
In this era of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others.
We see their perfectly curated photos, their seemingly successful careers, their picture-perfect relationships, and we can’t help but feel like we’re lacking in some way.
But here’s the thing: comparisons like these are not only unfair, they’re harmful. They create unrealistic expectations and foster feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction.
Everyone is on their own unique journey, with their own set of challenges and victories. What you see online is often just a highlight reel, not the full picture.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own journey.
Celebrate your own progress. Recognise your own achievements. Strive to be the best version of yourself, not a second-rate version of someone else.
Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. So stop comparing and start living your own beautiful, unique life.
7) Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and that’s part of the adventure
We all like to plan. We plan our careers, our vacations, even our daily routines. Plans give us a sense of control and predictability.
But life has a funny way of tossing our plans out the window.
Maybe you planned to be married by 30, but you’re still single. Or you planned to travel the world, but a pandemic put those plans on hold.
Or you planned for a peaceful retirement, but life had other ideas.
But here’s the fun part: these unexpected twists and turns are what make life an adventure.
They push us out of our comfort zones, force us to grow, and often lead us to opportunities we never imagined.
So embrace the unpredictability of life. Roll with the punches. Laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Because life doesn’t always go according to plan, and that’s what makes it so beautifully unpredictable.
8) Taking responsibility is the key to personal growth
Here’s a hard truth: blaming others for your problems won’t get you anywhere. It’s easy to point fingers, to make excuses, to play the victim.
But at the end of the day, you’re the one in charge of your life.
If you’re unhappy with your situation, it’s up to you to change it. If you’ve made mistakes, own up to them.
If you want to grow, learn, and improve, it starts with taking responsibility for your actions and choices.
It might be tough to hear, but no one else is responsible for your happiness or success. Only you can make the necessary changes to create the life you want.
So stop pointing fingers and start looking inwards. Take responsibility for your life, and watch how quickly things start to change for the better.
9) Self-love is the foundation of a fulfilling life
Above all else, remember this: loving yourself is not an act of vanity, it’s a necessity. It’s the foundation upon which a happy, fulfilling life is built.
In our quest for love, success, and acceptance, we often neglect the most important person in our lives – ourselves.
We criticize ourselves harshly, ignore our needs, and forget to celebrate our own achievements.
But the truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t truly love others if you don’t love yourself.
You can’t fully embrace success if you don’t believe in your own worth.
So be kind to yourself. Celebrate your achievements – no matter how small. Be patient with your progress. Treat yourself with the same love and kindness you give to others.
Remember, self-love isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about respecting yourself, believing in yourself, and investing in your own growth and wellbeing.
Make self-love a priority, and watch how everything else falls into place.
