Paul Brian
Have you ever met a person who’s extremely happy and you just can’t figure out why?
Getting to know them, you find out their life is pretty average, nothing too out of the ordinary…
But every time you interact with this person they’re beaming with an authentic smile and great energy!
What’s the secret ingredient in their happy sauce?
Let’s take a look…
1) They don’t try to be happy
First and foremost in the lesser-known secrets of exceptionally happy people is that they don’t try to be happy.
They don’t seek happiness, fulfillment, joy or completion.
They live it.
Even when times are awful or they have an injury or breakup that just happened, there’s a corner of these people that isn’t touched.
They never expected life to go their way in the first place, and they’ve already deeply accepted that many parts of life are out of our control.
By accepting the rules of the game to start with, the disappointments of the game never fully crush the truly happy person.
If you have low expectations and can find a source of joy within yourself, you’re going to be much happier than the average person.
I’ll write a bit more about this further down, but what this means is that people who are remarkably happy are not interested in being happy or trying to be.
They just are.
2) They’re true to themselves
Next up in the lesser-known secrets of exceptionally happy people is that they’re true to themselves and what motivates them.
This means that they know what they’re trying to accomplish in life and have a purpose.
They do not just follow their every emotion and desire: doing so is actually a recipe for frustration and misery.
Instead, truly happy people fit everything they do and decide into the bigger framework of why.
To be sure, you may go on a camping trip with your friends just because it’s fun. Great!
But they always have a wider reason for why they are spending most of their time a certain way, and it has to be one that fits with who they are as a person and what they’re trying to accomplish in the world.
3) They pay attention to their body
The next of the lesser-known secrets of exceptionally happy people is that they pay attention to their body.
Many self-development articles will emphasize the importance of purifying your “energy” and thoughts, or getting the right mindset.
They may tell you to repeat a mantra, or check your inner beliefs.
The truth is that it works the opposite way for the vast majority of people.
First, you get your body in gear and actually get in touch with your breathing, your heartbeat, your emotions in your body.
You get your body feeling good. You eat right. You sleep well. You get up early. You go for a run.
Then you do it again the next day, and the next. Even when you’re thinking “what the hell’s the point?” you still do it.
Then you begin to notice shifts in your mindset, thoughts and decision-making.
4) They focus on action instead of thoughts
This brings up the next of the more hidden truths about happy people.
Being happy is not in your mind. That’s a fantasy or a temporary high, perhaps.
True fulfillment and happiness is a process and an experience. It comes through action, not through peaceful reflection and contemplation.
Every time I have been told to focus on feeling happier and reflect more on my internal state, I’ve felt worse.
Every time I’ve done breathwork, gardening, hiking, construction, working out, dancing and physical activity, I’ve started to feel much better.
Why?
I stopped trying to feel happy or feel anything.
I focused on actions instead of thinking.
I got more into my body.
5) They build a good relationship with money
Next up in the little known secrets behind extremely happy people is money.
It’s popular to say money can’t buy happiness. That’s completely true.
But money is important, and you need it in this life to do almost anything.
When you don’t have enough, or you’re constantly stressed over money, you end up feeling like the sword of Damocles is constantly dangling above your head.
That’s why truly happy people find some way to develop a good relationship with money.
They focus on finding or making work that keeps them having enough money not only to survive but to relax a tiny bit.
This doesn’t make them happy, but it provides a context in which it’s much easier for them to be happy.
Think about it:
Stressful jobs and jobs we hate are one of the biggest sources of stress!
Finding a way to make some money gives you the power to choose a job you actually want to do and not be tied to toxic bosses or coworkers at a job you’re only doing for the money.
6) They try to give more than they get
The next of the lesser-known secrets of exceptionally happy people is that they try to give more than they get.
While making sure they can take care of themselves and those they love, very happy people embrace a win-win philosophy:
“I can win and so can you.”
This is often more true than we think, and happy people look for these kinds of situations.
Many times instead of eliminating the competition we can find a way to work together.
7) They have a credo they live by
The next of the lesser-known secrets of exceptionally happy people is that they have an inner credo they live by.
This may be their religious or spiritual beliefs, or just a strong identity and life purpose that guides them.
Think of this as a moral compass, with specific rules and priorities.
Happy people know what matters to them.
They’re true to themselves and they always try to be a net asset to the world.
This is the secret.
The happy place
We can’t all be happy all the time.
Life is inevitably going to have ups and downs.
But people who are happy on the inside in a fundamental way have found the truth of the above tips.
They don’t try to be happy or live life in pursuit of an emotional state, and they keep expectations fairly low…
They’re always honest with themselves…
They care about testing the limits of their body and physical health…
They put action over thoughts and mental masturbation…
And they always have an inner code they live by that prioritizes success and collaboration above all else.
