Lachlan Brown
For most of my life, I struggled to stay present.
My mind was always wandering—rehashing old memories or worrying about the future.
Nostalgia would hit me hard, making me long for “better days” instead of appreciating what was right in front of me.
But over the years, as I’ve explored psychology and mindfulness, I’ve come to realize that some people don’t experience this nearly as much.
They don’t dwell on the past or obsess over what’s next. Instead, they live fully in the moment—calm, focused, and content.
So what’s their secret?
Through my research and personal experiences, I’ve uncovered seven unique habits that help these people stay present and rarely feel nostalgic.
And the best part? These habits are backed by psychology:
1) They don’t romanticize the past
One of the biggest reasons people feel nostalgic is because they idealize the past.
They remember only the good parts while conveniently forgetting the struggles, boredom, and challenges that came with it.
But people who truly live in the moment don’t fall into this trap.
Psychology suggests that our brains have a “fading affect bias,” meaning we naturally remember positive experiences more vividly than negative ones.
However, those who stay present make a conscious effort to see the past for what it really was—neither better nor worse than the present, just different.
Instead of longing for “the good old days,” they focus on making today just as meaningful.
They remind themselves that every stage of life has its ups and downs, and the only moment they can truly experience is the one happening right now.
2) They fully engage with what they’re doing
For a long time, I had a bad habit of doing one thing while thinking about something else entirely.
I’d be eating dinner but scrolling on my phone.
Hanging out with friends but replaying an awkward conversation from earlier in the day.
Even when I was doing something I enjoyed, my mind was often somewhere else.
But then I came across this quote from psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: “The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”
That’s when it clicked for me: The people who truly live in the moment aren’t passively drifting through life—they’re fully engaged in whatever they’re doing.
Whether it’s working on a project, having a conversation, or even doing something as simple as washing the dishes, they give it their full attention.
I started practicing this myself by doing one thing at a time and really immersing myself in it.
If I was eating, I focused on the taste and texture of my food. If I was talking to someone, I listened without thinking about what I’d say next.
Slowly, my mind stopped wandering so much—I felt more present, more alive.
3) They let go of the need for control
I used to be the kind of person who wanted everything to go exactly as planned.
If something unexpected happened—like a canceled plan or a sudden change at work—I’d stress over it, trying to figure out how to “fix” things.
Even when I couldn’t change the situation, my mind would spiral with frustration, thinking about how things should have gone instead.
But over time, I realized something: The more I tried to control everything, the more anxious and disconnected I felt.
The people who truly live in the moment don’t waste energy resisting reality.
They accept what is and adapt to it. Instead of getting caught up in how things should be, they focus on making the best of what’s right in front of them.
4) They practice gratitude regularly
For a long time, I was always chasing the next thing.
The next job, the next relationship, the next big moment that would finally make me happy.
But no matter what I achieved, the feeling never lasted. I’d quickly move on to wanting something else, convinced that then I’d feel satisfied.
It wasn’t until I started practicing gratitude that everything changed.
Research has shown that actively appreciating what we have can make us more present and less likely to dwell on the past.
I started a simple habit: every night before bed, I’d write down three things I was grateful for that day.
Some days it was something big, like a meaningful conversation with a friend; other days, it was as small as the warmth of my morning coffee.
Over time, this rewired my mindset. Instead of constantly looking backward or forward, I started appreciating where I was.
As a result, I naturally became more present in my daily life.
5) They don’t tie their identity to the past
For years, I clung to an old version of myself.
I saw myself as the shy, awkward guy from my teenage years, even though I had grown and changed in so many ways.
But because I kept identifying with an outdated version of myself, I found it hard to move forward.
I’d second-guess myself in social situations, assuming people still saw me the way I used to be.
Here’s what I’ve learned: People who truly live in the moment don’t let their past define them.
They understand that identity isn’t something fixed—it’s fluid.
Who you were five or ten years ago isn’t who you are today, and it doesn’t have to shape who you’ll be tomorrow.
Once I realized this, I started questioning the old labels I had placed on myself: Was I really still that shy, awkward guy? Or was I just holding onto a story that no longer served me?
Letting go of my attachment to the past helped me step more fully into the present.
6) They embrace change instead of fearing it
For a long time, I resisted change.
Even when I wasn’t happy with my situation, at least it was familiar.
The unknown felt risky, so I clung to routines, relationships, and even thought patterns that no longer served me.
When life inevitably changed—because it always does—I’d feel unsettled, sometimes even nostalgic for times when things felt more stable.
The people who truly live in the moment don’t fight change—they embrace it.
When we stop resisting the natural flow of change and instead accept it as part of our journey, we free ourselves from constantly looking back or worrying about what’s next.
We start living fully in the now.
Every change brings something new—new experiences, lessons, and opportunities.
The sooner you embrace it, the more present you’ll feel.
7) They allow themselves to feel negative emotions
It might sound counterintuitive, but one of the biggest reasons people live in the moment is because they don’t run from uncomfortable feelings.
For a long time, I thought the key to happiness was avoiding sadness, frustration, or regret.
If I started feeling down, I’d distract myself—scrolling on my phone, keeping busy, or convincing myself I shouldn’t feel that way.
But the more I resisted these emotions, the more they lingered in the background, pulling me out of the present moment.
People who truly live in the moment don’t try to be happy all the time—they allow themselves to fully experience whatever they’re feeling, without judgment.
If they’re sad, they let themselves be sad; if they’re anxious, they sit with it instead of pushing it away.
And by doing this, they free themselves from emotional baggage that might otherwise keep them stuck in the past.
Final thoughts
Living in the moment isn’t about forcing yourself to be happy or pretending the past doesn’t exist.
It’s about shifting your mindset—letting go of nostalgia, embracing change, and fully engaging with life as it is right now.
If you want to start living more in the present, here’s a simple challenge:
For the next week, pick just one habit from this list and focus on practicing it daily.
Maybe it’s catching yourself when you romanticize the past, or fully immersing yourself in each activity.
Small shifts like these add up over time.
Because the truth is: Life is always happening right now.
The more you train yourself to be here for it, the richer and more fulfilling each moment becomes.
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