Eliza Hartley
Getting older is a natural part of life, but not everyone ages into the person they always wanted to be. It’s a tough pill to swallow, realizing you’ve morphed into someone you never intended to become.
In my journey of self-exploration and mindfulness, I’ve noticed certain traits that people who are unintentionally changing with age tend to exhibit.
These traits aren’t necessarily negative in themselves. However, they may signify that you’re straying from your true self or desired path in life.
Now, I’m going to share 7 of these key traits with you. My hope is that by recognizing these signs early on, we can take steps towards self-improvement and continue aging gracefully into the authentic versions of ourselves that we aspire to be.
1) Losing touch with passions
One of the first signs that you’re morphing into someone you never intended to be is when you start losing touch with your passions.
Remember the things you used to love doing? The hobbies that ignited your spirit and made time seem irrelevant? As we age, sometimes we let these passions slip away.
It’s not uncommon to get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, work, and responsibilities that we forget about what truly lights us up inside. We might even convince ourselves that these passions were childish or impractical.
But here’s the truth, those passions, those activities that make you lose track of time, they’re a crucial part of who you are. Ignoring them or pushing them aside might mean you’re heading down a path that’s not genuinely yours.
So take a moment, reflect. If you’ve lost touch with your passions, it might be time for some self-realignment and reconnection with your true self.
2) Prioritizing people-pleasing over self-happiness
I remember a time when I found myself constantly saying ‘yes’ to things I didn’t want to do, just to keep everyone else happy.
Be it attending events that didn’t interest me, agreeing to tasks I didn’t have time for or even suppressing my own opinions to avoid conflicts. And the result? A deeply unsatisfied and unfulfilled version of myself.
It took me a while to realize that people-pleasing was not only draining my energy but also steering me away from who I truly wanted to be. The moment of clarity came when I realized that it was impossible to please everyone, and trying to do so was making me lose my individuality and self-worth.
Now, I prioritize my own happiness and self-care. It’s not about being selfish, but about understanding that you can’t pour from an empty cup. You must take care of yourself first before you can truly care for others.
If you notice this trait in yourself, it’s time for a change. Take a step back and start focusing on what makes you genuinely happy.
3) Neglecting mindfulness
In the rush of our daily lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the past or future, forgetting to live in the present moment.
We worry about what might go wrong tomorrow or regret decisions made yesterday, all while missing out on the beauty of now. This can lead us down a path that is disconnected from our true selves.
Mindfulness is about fully immersing ourselves in the present moment. It’s about acknowledging and accepting our feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations without judgment.
In my book, The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment, I delve into practical strategies for developing this crucial skill. Mindfulness not only helps us reconnect with our true selves but also equips us to make conscious decisions that are aligned with who we truly want to be.
If you’ve been feeling detached from your present life or find yourself constantly living in thoughts of the past or future, it may be a sign that you’re drifting away from your desired self.
But don’t worry, it’s never too late to cultivate mindfulness and realign your life.
4) Ignoring physical health
There was a time when I would put work, responsibilities, and every other aspect of life before my physical health. Whether it was skipping meals, missing sleep, or neglecting exercise, my health took a backseat.
And the results were not pretty. I was constantly tired, irritable, and my productivity took a hit.
Your physical health is not just about looking good, it’s a crucial aspect of your overall well-being and happiness. The state of your body can significantly impact your mood, energy levels, and even your thoughts.
Ignoring your physical health might seem like a minor compromise in the face of responsibilities and busy schedules. But over time, it can lead to drastic changes in your lifestyle and personality, causing you to become someone you never wanted to be.
Whether it’s by incorporating a daily exercise routine, eating balanced meals or ensuring adequate sleep, prioritizing your physical health is essential in maintaining your true self as you age.
5) Always staying in your comfort zone
Here’s a bit of a curveball for you – always staying in your comfort zone. It might seem counter-intuitive, as we usually associate comfort zones with safety and stability. But, believe it or not, too much comfort can lead us astray from our desired selves.
Comfort zones, while cozy and safe, can often limit our growth and potential. They can keep us stuck in old habits and patterns, preventing us from exploring new experiences or learning new skills.
Over time, this comfort trap can cause us to stagnate and become a version of ourselves we never aimed to be.
Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t mean taking reckless risks, but rather embracing opportunities for growth and self-improvement. It’s about pushing your boundaries just enough to challenge yourself and inspire personal development.
Now if you’ve been feeling stuck and are noticing yourself becoming someone you don’t want to be – it might be time to take a step outside that comfortable bubble. You never know what amazing changes you could trigger.
6) Disregarding the importance of self-reflection
Self-reflection is a powerful tool that helps us identify our strengths, weaknesses, and areas of improvement. It keeps us connected to our inner selves and our personal growth journey.
But often, in the busyness of life, we forget to pause and reflect. We keep going through the motions without taking time to assess if we’re happy with the direction we’re heading in.
However, without regular self-reflection, we risk losing sight of our goals and values, which can lead us to age into someone we never intended to become.
Make it a habit to regularly check-in with yourself. Take some quiet time to reflect on your actions, decisions, feelings, and thoughts. It might just help you stay true to your path and become the person you truly want to be.
7) Forgetting your worth
The most crucial trait that can lead you to become someone you never intended to be is forgetting your worth. Your self-worth is the foundation of your identity. It influences your decisions, actions, and relationships.
When you undervalue yourself, you allow others to dictate your life. You might settle for less than you deserve or let people treat you poorly.
And over time, this can cause you to become a version of yourself that’s far removed from who you truly want to be.
Recognize your worth. Understand that you are valuable and deserving of respect, love, and happiness. This self-belief is the key to aging into the truest version of yourself.
Final reflection: Becoming the architect of your own life
As we journey through life, our choices and actions shape who we become. Sometimes, without us even realizing it, we start to age into someone we never intended to be. But it’s essential to remember that we are not helpless spectators in the story of our lives. We are the architects.
The traits we explored can act as signals that you’re straying from your desired path. But they can also serve as guideposts, directing you towards self-improvement and authenticity.
At the heart of this transformation lies mindfulness. By being present, by truly living each moment, we can make more conscious choices that align with our authentic selves.
In my book, The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment, I delve deeper into how this practice can help us navigate life’s twists and turns, staying true to ourselves amidst the noise of the world around us.
As you continue your journey, remember to check-in with yourself often. Remember your passions, prioritize your happiness and health, step out of your comfort zone, and never forget your worth.
After all, aging is not just about growing older; it’s about growing into our true selves.
