9 things you never owe anyone an explanation for, according to psychology

As humans, it’s vital that we maintain our sense of self-worth, autonomy, and dignity.

These elements can be compromised when we find ourselves constantly explaining our choices, actions, or feelings to others.

Psychologists often warn against this behaviour as it can lead to feelings of guilt, insecurity, and inferiority – the same feelings often experienced in a toxic relationship.

We’ve all been in situations where we felt compelled to justify ourselves, but the truth is, there are things we never owe anyone an explanation for.

In this article, I’ll share with you 9 such things.

Stay tuned and let’s dive into a journey of self-discovery where your choices are yours alone to make and own.

1) Your life priorities

As individuals, we all have our own unique set of priorities.

This could range from career aspirations, to family and relationship goals, to personal quests of self-discovery and growth.

No one else gets to dictate what’s important to us or which direction we should steer our lives in.

You might find people questioning your choices or trying to impose their own priorities onto you – maybe they think you should focus more on your career instead of starting a family, or maybe they can’t understand why you’d choose to invest in traveling instead of buying a house.

Your life is yours to live. It’s okay to listen to others’ opinions, but at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with your decisions.

Don’t feel obligated to explain or justify your life priorities to anyone.

2) Your personal boundaries

We all have our own set of boundaries – physical, emotional, and mental.

These are the limits we set for ourselves to protect our well-being. They are crucial for our self-esteem, and can vary greatly from person to person.

Sometimes, people might question or challenge these boundaries.

They might not understand why you refuse to engage in certain discussions or why you need time alone after a long day.

However, your personal boundaries are just that – personal.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable, or why you need space and time to recharge.

What’s more, maintaining these boundaries is essential for your mental health and overall happiness.

It’s okay to say no without offering a long-winded justification. Your boundaries should be respected.

3) Your eating habits

In a world where diet culture is rampant and food choices are often scrutinized, it’s easy to feel like you need to justify your eating habits.

Whether you’re a vegetarian for ethical reasons, or you simply enjoy indulging in a bar of chocolate after dinner, your dietary choices are your own.

People may question why you choose to eat what you eat, or try to make you feel guilty for enjoying certain foods.

But the truth is, as long as your diet is balanced and you are happy and healthy, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you put on your plate.

Go ahead and enjoy that slice of pizza or that green juice. Your body, your choice. 

4) Your mental health

Living in a society that often stigmatizes mental health, it’s easy to feel like you have to hide or justify your struggles.

Depression, anxiety, PTSD – these are real, tangible experiences that millions of people go through every day.

But here’s the raw, honest truth: you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your mental health struggles.

You don’t have to justify why you’re not as “happy” as others think you should be, or why you need to take a mental health day off work.

Your journey with mental health is personal and unique to you. It’s okay to share when you’re comfortable, and it’s okay to seek help when you need it.

But you are never obligated to explain your mental health to anyone. The most important thing is taking care of yourself.

5) Your relationship status

Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or it’s complicated – no matter what your relationship status is, it’s your business and yours alone.

In a society that often places a high value on romantic relationships, it can be easy to feel pressure to explain why you’re not married yet, why you’re still single, or why you’ve decided to end a long-term relationship.

But here’s the empathetic truth: the state of your heart and who you choose to share it with (or not share it with) is entirely up to you.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationship status, or for the decisions you make about your love life.

It’s okay to be single. It’s okay to be in love. It’s okay to be heartbroken. Wherever you are in your journey, embrace it.

And remember, you don’t need to justify your heart’s decisions to anyone.

6) Your appearance

We’ve all had those days where we put on our favorite outfit, only to have someone question our choice of attire.

Or maybe you’ve changed your hairstyle and someone has felt the need to voice their unsolicited opinion about it.

The truth is, your appearance and how you choose to present yourself to the world is your business.

Whether you prefer bright colors or neutrals, long hair or short, makeup or no makeup – these are personal choices that you don’t owe an explanation for.

The way you look doesn’t define your worth. You’re more than your physical appearance.

Put on that bold lipstick or that comfy sweater, wear your hair the way you like it.

You’re dressing for yourself, not for anyone else. No explanation needed.

7) Your hobbies and interests

Maybe you love to spend your weekends birdwatching.

Or perhaps you’ve got a penchant for knitting quirky socks. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re the world’s biggest fan of a little-known indie band.

People might find your hobbies quirky, unusual, or even downright strange.

But here’s the light-hearted truth: your interests make you who you are! They bring joy into your life, and that’s all that matters.

Embrace your love for stamp collecting or salsa dancing. Dive into that obscure graphic novel series or enjoy an afternoon of cloud-watching.

Because at the end of the day, what makes you happy doesn’t need any justification. Your hobbies are yours to enjoy!

8) Your financial decisions

We all have different financial goals and methods for managing our money. Some of us are savers, some are spenders, and others fall somewhere in between.

You might find people questioning your choices: why you choose to rent instead of buying a house, why you splurge on travel instead of saving more, or why you’re not investing in the latest “sure thing.”

Here’s a dose of tough love: your financial decisions are yours to make. You’ve worked hard for your money, and how you choose to spend or save it is up to you.

As long as you’re being responsible and not putting yourself in harm’s way, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your financial choices.

Everyone’s financial journey is different. Stay true to yours and don’t feel pressured to justify your money decisions to anyone else.

9) Your self-care routine

In today’s fast-paced world, where we’re often expected to be ‘on’ all the time, prioritizing self-care can sometimes be viewed as being selfish or lazy.

But here’s the most crucial thing to remember: your self-care routine is vital and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for it.

Whether it’s taking a day off to unwind, spending an hour meditating, or just taking a long, leisurely bath – these moments of care are essential for your mental and physical well-being.

Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so make sure to fill yours regularly.

Taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.

Wrapping it up

As we navigate our way through life, it’s natural to sometimes feel the need to explain ourselves.

But it’s important to remember that there are certain aspects of our lives that we don’t owe anyone an explanation for.

Respected psychologist and author Dr. Brené Brown once said, “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy.”

This article is not about promoting selfishness or disregard for others.

Rather, it aims to remind you that your life is your own, and you have the right to live it authentically, without feeling the need to justify every decision or aspect of it.

As you reflect on these nine areas, consider where you might be over-explaining or justifying yourself unnecessarily. Are there areas you can reclaim? Do you notice any patterns?

As Dr. Brown suggests, own your story. It’s yours, after all. You owe no one an explanation for being uniquely you.

Embrace your vulnerabilities, and don’t give up on love, belonging, and joy.

Ultimately, the most important relationship you have is with yourself. And that’s a relationship worth investing in.

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang blends Eastern and Western perspectives in her approach to self-improvement. Her writing explores the intersection of cultural identity and personal growth. Mia encourages readers to embrace their unique backgrounds as a source of strength and inspiration in their life journeys.

9 warning signs you’re more stressed than you think, according to psychology

9 things highly respected people never reveal about themselves in public