Minh Tran
If someone says, “I don’t get why they can’t just save more money”, you know they’re out of touch. If someone claims, “Everyone should travel abroad at least once a year for perspective”, you know they’re living in a bubble.
Welcome to the subtle world of class disconnect.
The reality is, not everyone gets it. Particularly our friends in the upper-middle class. Their worldviews can be so skewed that it’s almost like they’re speaking a different language.
For some clarity, I’ve put together a list of 8 things these folks often say that reveal just how out of touch they are. Bridging this gap isn’t just about social awareness, but also about fostering understanding and empathy—a cornerstone of mindfulness—in our diverse society.
Stay tuned as we delve into this intriguing exploration of societal disconnect and self-awareness.
1) “Why don’t they just get a better job?”
Simplicity can be deceptive.
Take, for example, the phrase “Why don’t they just get a better job?”. On the surface, it’s a harmless suggestion. But dig deeper and you’ll find a wealth of ignorance hidden beneath those simple words.
The reality is, not all of us have the luxury to choose our jobs. Factors such as education, location, economic conditions and personal circumstances often dictate what kind of work we can get.
Yet, this phrase is often tossed around by upper-middle class folks, showing their disconnect from the struggles faced by those in lower socioeconomic groups.
And the worst part?
They’re not even aware of it. It’s like telling someone who’s drowning to just swim better. It’s not that they don’t want to – they simply can’t.
2) “Money doesn’t buy happiness”
Let me share a story with you.
A while back, a friend of mine, from a well-off background, commented, “Money doesn’t buy happiness”. I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at that.
Sure, money can’t buy love or peace of mind. But it does buy comfort, security and opportunities – things that can certainly contribute to happiness.
Take my old car for example. It was a rusty bucket of bolts that could break down at any moment. Many times, it did.
The stress of unexpected repairs, the fear of being stranded on the road, the inconvenience of not being able to get where I needed to go – all these things took a toll on my happiness.
Then, I scraped together enough money to buy a new car. The difference was night and day. No more stress about breakdowns, no more fear, no more inconvenience. I was happier.
So when someone says “Money doesn’t buy happiness”, it reveals a certain level of financial comfort they’re enjoying – one that makes them oblivious to the struggles of those less fortunate.
Remember, understanding isn’t just about seeing the world through your own lens, but also through the lenses of those who are different from you.
3) “I just don’t understand why they don’t invest”
Investing is a great way to increase wealth over time, that’s undeniable. However, it’s not as simple as just deciding to invest one day.
Many upper-middle class individuals have the means and knowledge to invest their money wisely, growing their wealth and securing their future. However, they fail to see the barriers that prevent others from doing the same.
For those living paycheck to paycheck, investing is a luxury. The choice isn’t between a secure future and immediate gratification, but between today’s necessities and tomorrow’s uncertainties.
In fact, nearly 80% of American workers live paycheck to paycheck. For these individuals, any extra money goes towards bills, debt, or into a tiny savings account for emergencies.
So, when someone wonders aloud why others don’t invest, it indicates a lack of understanding about the financial realities many people face.
4) “Everyone should travel abroad for perspective”
Traveling can indeed be a beautiful way to broaden the mind and gain new perspectives. But suggesting that everyone should do it? That’s where things get complicated.
For many upper-middle class individuals, international vacations are a regular part of life. They see travel as a means to expand their horizons, learn about different cultures, and break away from their routine.
However, what they often overlook is that not everyone has the means or the opportunity to jet off to foreign lands on a whim. Traveling abroad requires disposable income, time off work, and the capacity to plan and execute a trip. For many people, these resources simply aren’t available.
Gaining perspective isn’t just about seeing different parts of the world; it’s about understanding different parts of life, including the challenges and constraints others face.
5) “I only buy organic”
When I hear someone say, “I only buy organic”, I can’t help but feel a pang of disconnect.
Don’t get me wrong. I understand the appeal of organic food. It’s not treated with harmful pesticides, it’s often fresher, and some people find it tastes better.
But here’s the thing: organic food is expensive. For many households, it’s a luxury they simply can’t afford. When I’m grocery shopping on a budget, I have to think about quantity and filling bellies over the luxury of pesticide-free produce.
So when someone casually says, “I only buy organic”, it shows a lack of understanding about what grocery shopping looks like for many families.
Remember, being mindful isn’t just about what we consume physically, but also how we consume and understand the world around us.
6) “Why don’t they just move to a better neighborhood?”
At first glance, this might seem like a reasonable suggestion. After all, if your environment is harmful or unproductive, why not change it?
But here’s the catch: moving isn’t as simple as packing up and settling in a new place. It involves significant financial costs, emotional upheaval, and logistical challenges. You can’t just move your kids to a new school or find a new job at the drop of a hat.
Moreover, many people have strong bonds to their neighborhoods through family, friends, and community ties. Uprooting oneself isn’t just about leaving a physical location—it’s about leaving behind emotional connections and memories.
7) “They should just go back to school”
Education is indeed a powerful tool for personal and professional development. But suggesting that someone should just go back to school overlooks a bunch of realities.
First off, education is expensive. Not everyone can afford tuition fees, let alone the cost of books, transportation, and other related expenses.
Secondly, going back to school requires a significant time commitment. For individuals working full-time jobs or those with family responsibilities, finding the time for education is not a simple task.
Lastly, education isn’t a guaranteed ticket to a better job or higher income. Many well-educated individuals still struggle to find stable, well-paying jobs in their field of study.
So, when someone suggests that people should just go back to school to improve their lives, it reveals a lack of understanding about the real challenges associated with education.
8) “Why don’t they just budget better?”
This one always gets me.
The assumption behind it is that people struggling financially are simply not managing their money well. But the truth is, budgeting doesn’t create more money. It only helps manage what is already there.
For someone living paycheck to paycheck, no amount of budgeting can stretch their income to cover all their needs, let alone wants. When the money isn’t enough to begin with, the problem isn’t the budget—it’s the income.
Budgeting better won’t magically erase systemic economic disparities or alleviate financial hardship.
So, when someone suggests that people should just budget better, it reveals a profound misunderstanding about the realities of financial struggle.
Remember: awareness is the first step towards understanding, and understanding is the first step towards empathy.
Embracing the power of understanding
Now that we’ve explored these 8 phrases, it’s clear that the disconnect between different classes is more profound than we might think.
This isn’t about blaming or shaming the upper-middle class for their perspective. Rather, it’s about fostering a deeper understanding of the diverse realities that exist in our society.
Understanding widens our perspective, deepens our empathy, and allows us to connect with others on a more genuine level. It’s not just about acknowledging the struggles of others—it’s about realizing that their struggles are not due to individual failures, but systemic issues.
This understanding can be uncomfortable. It challenges our assumptions and forces us to see things from a different point of view. But it’s also crucial because it drives us towards more compassionate actions and inclusive conversations.
So next time you hear these phrases or find yourself saying them, take a moment to reflect. Are you truly seeing the world as it is, or only as it appears from your perspective?
Let’s strive to understand each other’s battles, rather than judge them from our own perspectives.
After all, a little understanding goes a long way.
