James Carter
Navigating through criticism and judgment is a daunting task.
But when you’re equipped with a high level of emotional intelligence, it becomes a whole lot easier.
Emotionally intelligent people can face judgment without losing their cool, and psychology has some interesting insights into how they do it.
If you ever find yourself under the harsh spotlight of judgment, fear not. There are ways to handle it, and I’m about to share them with you.
1) They don’t take it personally
When faced with judgment, emotionally intelligent people have a unique ability to separate themselves from the criticism.
Instead of letting it get to them, they view it as an external opinion, not a personal attack.
This could be traced back to the timeless wisdom of psychologist Carl Rogers who once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Highly emotionally intelligent people take this to heart. They know their worth and don’t allow the views of others to shake their self-belief.
Instead, they use judgment as an opportunity for growth and understanding, turning a potentially negative experience into a positive one.
They understand that judgment often says more about the person judging than the person being judged.
Next time you feel judged, remember Rogers’ words and take a leaf out of the emotionally intelligent person’s book – don’t take it personally.
2) They practice empathy
When I was younger, I used to react defensively whenever I felt judged. But as I’ve grown and evolved, I’ve found that empathy is a far better response.
There was a situation at work where a colleague criticized my approach to a project.
Initially, I felt attacked and was ready to fire back.
But then I remembered a quote by the renowned psychologist, Daniel H. Pink: “Empathy is about standing in someone else’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, thinking with his or her brain.”
Instead of reacting, I paused and tried to understand where my colleague was coming from.
Maybe he had a rough day or maybe he genuinely believed there was a better way to handle the project.
By stepping into his shoes and attempting to view the situation from his perspective, I not only diffused any potential conflict but also gained valuable insight into improving my work.
Emotionally intelligent people often do this. They respond with empathy, not animosity, when they feel judged.
They recognize that understanding and connection are much more productive than defensiveness and conflict.
3) They express their feelings
Have you ever felt judged and bottled up your feelings, only to have them explode later in an emotional outburst? I’m sure many of us have been there.
Emotionally intelligent people, however, handle this differently. They know the importance of expressing their emotions as they arise, even when they’re uncomfortable.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”
Emotionally intelligent people live by this principle, constantly checking in with their emotions and communicating them effectively.
They don’t shy away from having difficult conversations. If they feel judged, they let the person know how they feel in a respectful and honest manner.
This approach not only alleviates emotional tension but also fosters understanding and respect in relationships.
It’s not always easy to express our feelings, especially when we’re feeling judged.
But it’s a critical step towards maintaining our emotional health and fostering meaningful connections with others.
4) They maintain a growth mindset
When faced with judgment, people with high emotional intelligence don’t let it discourage them. Instead, they see it as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.
This mindset is backed by the research of psychologist Carol Dweck, who conducted a series of studies on the importance of mindset in personal development.
She identified two types of mindsets: fixed and growth.
Those with a fixed mindset believe their abilities are set in stone and cannot be changed.
Conversely, individuals with a growth mindset believe that their abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.
Emotionally intelligent people tend to have a growth mindset. When they face criticism or judgment, they don’t see it as a failure or a personal flaw.
Instead, they view it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and improve.
The next time you feel judged, try to adopt a growth mindset.
See it as an opportunity to learn something new about yourself or improve your skills rather than as a personal affront.
5) They seek support when needed
A few years back, during a particularly challenging time in my life, I felt incredibly judged by those around me.
It was an isolating experience, until I realized the power of seeking support.
Emotionally intelligent people aren’t afraid to lean on others when they feel judged. They understand the value of a listening ear or a comforting word.
As the famous psychologist Carl Jung said, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.”
Sometimes, navigating through that darkness requires the support and understanding of those around us.
They reach out to friends, family, or even professional counsellors when they need to talk or seek advice.
They understand that seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness, but a strength.
Remember that it’s okay to lean on others when you’re feeling judged. You don’t have to face it alone.
6) They exercise gratitude
It might sound counterintuitive, but emotionally intelligent people practice gratitude even when they feel judged.
Why would anyone feel thankful in a situation like this? Well, it all comes back to perspective.
The legendary psychologist Viktor Frankl once said, “When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Feeling judged is often one of those situations we can’t change. But what we can change is how we respond to it.
Emotionally intelligent people understand this. They exercise gratitude as a way to shift their focus from the judgment they’re facing to the positive aspects of their lives.
This doesn’t mean they ignore the judgment, but rather that they don’t let it overshadow everything else.
Practicing gratitude can significantly reduce stress and improve overall well-being.
While it may seem counterintuitive, expressing gratitude in the face of judgment can be incredibly beneficial.
7) They let go
One of the most powerful things emotionally intelligent people do when they feel judged is let it go.
As the renowned psychologist Wayne Dyer once said, “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”
Emotionally intelligent people understand this deeply. They know they can’t control other people’s judgments, but they can control their own reactions.
They don’t hold onto the negative energy of feeling judged. They acknowledge it, learn from it, and then they let it go.
Because they know that holding onto resentment only harms their own peace of mind.
Final reflections
Dealing with judgment is a part of life, but how we respond to it is what truly defines us.
As we’ve explored, emotionally intelligent people have a unique way of navigating these situations.
They don’t let judgment define them, but rather use it as an opportunity for growth and understanding.
Every quote, study, and example shared in this article serves as a reminder that our reactions to judgment are within our control.
We can choose to take it personally, or we can choose to see it as an opportunity for growth.
The beauty of emotional intelligence is that it’s not an innate trait – it’s something we can all develop with practice and mindfulness.
Next time you feel judged, remember these strategies.
Practice empathy, express your feelings, seek support, employ a growth mindset, exercise gratitude and most importantly, let it go.
You’re much more than the judgments of others.
You’re a work in progress, ever-evolving and constantly growing. And that’s something to be proud of.
