Eliza Hartley
As a parent, detecting respect from your child isn’t always as straightforward as it sounds.
Sometimes, it’s buried under layers of teenage angst or toddler tantrums. But just because they don’t say “I respect you” outright doesn’t mean it’s not there.
In fact, respect often manifests in subtle signals that are easy to overlook if you’re not paying close attention.
In this article, I’m going to share with you seven under-the-radar signs that your child deeply respects you, even if they don’t express it in so many words.
By learning to recognize these signs, you’ll gain a better understanding of your child’s feelings and strengthen your bond with them. And hey, who doesn’t want that?
1) They listen to your advice
Parenting isn’t just about ensuring your kids are fed and clothed, it’s also about providing guidance.
And when your child respects you, they don’t just hear your words; they take them to heart.
Sure, they might not always agree, and they may even challenge your views. But that’s part of a healthy relationship.
The key here is that they value your opinion, even if they choose a different path.
If you find your child often seeking your advice or following the wisdom you share, it’s a subtle yet powerful sign of respect.
Remember, respect is about trust. And if they trust your judgement enough to consider your advice, it’s proof of their respect for you as a parent.
Next time you engage in a conversation with your child, pay attention to how they respond to your advice. It might reveal more about their feelings than you think.
2) They express gratitude
A lot of parents can relate to the feeling of being constantly in “give” mode. We provide for our kids, take care of them, and yet, a simple “thank you” can seem like a rare treasure.
This was something I grappled with myself. My youngest daughter, full of spirit and energy, seemed to take everything in stride. From home-cooked meals to help with homework, it was as if these things were expected.
Then one day, after a particularly long evening of helping her prepare for a science project, she turned to me and said, “Thanks for helping me, Dad. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you.”
It was a small moment but it meant the world to me. Even though she didn’t say it often, that single expression of gratitude showed me that she deeply respected the effort I put into raising her.
If your child expresses gratitude for the things you do, big or small, take it as a sign of deep respect. It shows they acknowledge your efforts and don’t take them for granted.
3) They emulate your behavior
Monkey see, monkey do – it’s not just a catchy saying, it’s a psychological phenomenon. Children often emulate the behaviors of those they admire and respect.
When your child respects you, they’re more likely to model their behavior on yours. That’s not to say they’ll become your carbon copy – every child has their own personality and unique traits.
But if you notice that your child is adopting some of your habits, mannerisms, or even phrases, it could be a sign that they hold you in high regard.
So next time your kid cracks a joke in your signature style or displays a work ethic similar to yours, take a moment to appreciate it. It’s a subtle sign of respect that children often show without even realizing it themselves.
4) They confide in you
Trust is a significant component of respect, and when your child confides in you, it shows they trust you with their feelings and thoughts.
Opening up about fears, hopes, dreams, and even everyday occurrences, requires a level of vulnerability that only comes with respect and trust.
If your child feels comfortable sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings with you, they not only see you as a safe haven but also respect your guidance and perspective.
If your child comes to you with a problem or shares a secret, it’s not just about the issue at hand—it’s also a reflection of the deep respect they have for you.
5) They value your time
Time, as they say, is the most valuable thing a person can spend. When your child understands this and respects your time, it can be a profound sign of their respect for you.
I still remember when my son was preparing for college applications. It was a stressful period for all of us, with deadlines looming and countless essays to write. One day, he came up to me and said, “Mom, I know you’re busy with work, but could you spare some time to look over my essay?”
It wasn’t just the request for help that struck me, but the understanding and acknowledgment of my own workload. He didn’t assume I was at his beck and call; instead, he showed he understood that my time was valuable too.
Notice when your child makes an effort not to encroach on your time unnecessarily or shows understanding when you’re busy. It’s a subtle yet significant sign of deep respect.
6) They consider your feelings
Empathy is a beautiful quality to behold in your child, especially when it’s directed towards you.
If your child often takes your feelings into account before acting or making decisions, it’s a clear sign of respect. It shows they value your emotions and consider the impact of their actions on you.
For example, if they refrain from blasting loud music when you’re having a headache or if they make decisions that take your wellbeing into account, these are subtle signs of their deep respect for you.
Remember, respect is not just about obedience; it’s also about understanding and empathy. If your child exhibits these qualities towards you, cherish it—it’s a clear sign they respect you deeply.
7) They show respect to others
The way your child treats others is often a reflection of their core values and the lessons they’ve absorbed from you.
If your child consistently treats their friends, teachers, and even strangers with kindness and respect, it’s a strong indication they respect you as well.
It shows they’ve internalized the values you’ve taught them and are implementing it in their daily lives.
So, if your child is respectful towards others, not only should you be proud of raising a compassionate individual, but also take it as a sign that they respect you deeply. After all, children often mirror the attitudes and behaviors of the adults they respect the most.
Ultimately, it’s about connection
The nuances of a parent-child relationship can be complex and deeply personal. Yet, at its core, respect is perhaps one of the most fundamental aspects that bind this relationship together.
It’s not always about grand gestures or eloquent words of admiration. Often, it’s the little things – the subtle signs that quietly speak volumes about the deep-seated respect your child holds for you.
Respect is a two-way street. It’s not just about your child respecting you, but also about you respecting them – their thoughts, their feelings, their individuality. This mutual respect forms the bedrock of a strong and healthy parent-child relationship.
The next time you interact with your child, look out for these subtle signs. They might just offer a heartwarming glimpse into the deep respect your child has for you – silent yet profound.
After all, as American novelist James Baldwin beautifully put it, “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” And imitation, in its sincerest form, is an undeniable sign of respect.
