Lucas Graham
Navigating the world of emotions can be a tricky business.
Often, we might find ourselves hiding our feelings, not out of intent but as an unconscious reaction to our circumstances.
This suppression isn’t always obvious.
In fact, most of us don’t even realize we’re doing it until we’re confronted with the undeniable signs.
Psychology has a lot to say about this subtle behavioral pattern.
It’s not just about the ‘what’ but also the ‘why’—and that’s where things get really interesting.
In this article, I’ll be shedding light on seven subtle behaviors that indicate you might be suppressing your emotions without even realizing it:
1) A reluctance to open up
One of the most common signs of suppressed emotions is a distinct hesitation to share feelings.
This isn’t about being an introvert or a private person—it’s about an almost instinctive avoidance of emotional expression.
In many cases, this avoidance might not even be a conscious decision.
It could be something you’ve developed over time, an unconscious response to certain situations or experiences.
This behavior often stems from a fear of being vulnerable or a belief that emotions are a sign of weakness.
As Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century, once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
If you find yourself constantly holding back your feelings, it might be a sign that you’re suppressing your emotions.
Remember, recognizing it is the first step towards making a positive change.
2) Constant state of distraction
Another subtle behavior that points to emotional suppression is constant distraction.
In my personal experience, I found myself continuously busy, always on the move, always with a task at hand.
I used to think it was just me being productive or trying to maximize my time.
But as I delved deeper into my behaviors and emotions, I realized it was a coping mechanism.
By keeping myself distracted, I was avoiding dealing with my feelings. It was a classic case of “out of sight, out of mind.”
No matter how much I tried to distract myself, the unexpressed emotions would find a way to surface, often when least expected.
It’s important to remember that staying busy is not inherently bad.
3) Chronic fatigue and low energy
Ever felt completely drained at the end of the day, even when you haven’t done anything physically exhausting?
I have, and for the longest time, I couldn’t understand why.
As I learned more about psychology and emotions, it became clear: I was carrying an emotional load that was draining my energy.
Suppressing emotions is hard work as it requires continuous effort to keep those feelings at bay.
Over time, this can lead to chronic fatigue and low energy levels.
The more we resist our emotions, the more energy we expend in keeping them under control.
Keep in mind that it’s perfectly normal to feel tired after a long day, but if you’re constantly feeling drained without a physical reason, it might be worth exploring if suppressed emotions are at play.
4) Difficulty in forming meaningful relationships
Emotion suppression can also manifest in our interpersonal relationships, making it difficult to form deep, meaningful connections.
When we suppress our emotions, we’re essentially building walls around ourselves.
We’re withholding an essential part of who we are from others.
Over time, this can lead to a sense of isolation and disconnect.
The study reinforced the idea that emotions and relationships are intricately linked.
By understanding and managing our emotions better, we can improve our relationships and form more meaningful connections.
Take the time to introspect and check if this is a behavior you might be inadvertently exhibiting.
5) Frequent physical discomfort
Did you know that suppressed emotions can manifest as physical discomfort?
I didn’t, until I began to notice a pattern in my own life.
Whenever I was suppressing strong emotions, I started experiencing headaches, stomachaches, and even bouts of nausea.
Psychologist Gabor Maté, renowned for his work on the connection between mind and body, famously said, “When we have been prevented from learning how to say no, our bodies may end up saying it for us.”
This quote hit home for me.
Our bodies and minds are more interconnected than we often realize.
Suppressed emotions can create a physical response, a somewhat ‘loud’ way for our bodies to signal that something is off balance.
6) Overly rational thinking
It might sound counterintuitive, but being overly rational can sometimes be a sign of suppressed emotions.
When we suppress our feelings, we often compensate by over-relying on our logical, rational thinking.
I remember a time in my life when I prided myself on being purely logical, on making decisions based solely on facts and reason.
Yet, looking back, I realize that it was a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with my suppressed emotions.
Our emotions provide valuable information about our desires, values, and needs.
By suppressing them, we’re denying ourselves access to this information.
7) Inability to express joy
The last subtle sign of suppressed emotions is a difficulty in expressing positive emotions like joy and happiness.
Suppressing emotions isn’t just about the negative ones; it’s a blanket strategy that affects our expression of all emotions, including the positive ones.
As psychologist Brene Brown said, “We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”
If you find it hard to express joy or happiness, it might be an indication of suppressed emotions.
Wrapping up
The journey of self-awareness and understanding our emotions is a complex and deeply personal one.
Recognizing these subtle signs of suppressed emotions is not about labeling ourselves or seeking out flaws, but about getting to know ourselves better.
It’s about fostering a sense of mindfulness and creating an open dialogue with our inner selves; it’s about acknowledging our feelings and giving them the space they deserve in our lives.
In the end, emotions are an integral part of our human experience.
They add depth, color, and richness to our lives.
By understanding and managing them better, we can enhance our personal growth, improve our relationships, and lead a more fulfilling life.
As you go forward, carry with you this newfound understanding—reflect, introspect, and—most importantly—allow yourself to feel.
In the grand scheme of things, it’s through our emotions that we truly experience life.
