8 signs you’re more emotionally intelligent than you give yourself credit for, according to psychology

If you’ve ever questioned your emotional intelligence, you’re not alone. It’s common to underestimate our own capabilities, particularly when it comes to understanding and managing emotions.

You might be more emotionally intelligent than you think, though. This isn’t just about being in touch with your feelings, but also being able to navigate complex social situations, maintain healthy relationships, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results.

Emotional intelligence is a term psychologists use often. It’s not some innate talent you’re born with, but rather something that can be learned and improved over time.

There are certain signs that indicate higher emotional intelligence. So if you’re eager to discover where you stand, stick around.

This piece aims to shed light on those subtle indications that might just reveal you’re more emotionally savvy than you believe.

1) You’re a great listener

Often, we underestimate the power of simply listening to others. If you find yourself genuinely engaged in conversations, offering your full attention and not just waiting for your turn to speak, you might be more emotionally intelligent than you realize.

Active listening is a key aspect of emotional intelligence. It’s not just about hearing the words someone says, but understanding their emotions and intentions beneath those words. You’re not only understanding their perspective, but also validating their feelings, which can make them feel heard and appreciated.

Emotionally intelligent people excel at this. They don’t rush to offer advice or solutions unless they’re asked to. Instead, they empathize, show understanding, and offer comfort.

If you’re this kind of listener, give yourself some credit. You’re displaying a high level of emotional intelligence that not everyone possesses. This characteristic can make you a desirable friend, partner, or colleague – someone people feel comfortable confiding in and trusting with their thoughts and feelings.

2) You’re comfortable with silence

In a world that often feels like it’s on fast forward, silence can be unsettling for many. But if you’re someone who is comfortable with silence, whether it’s during a conversation or when you’re alone, this could be a sign of emotional intelligence.

Silence allows us the space to process our thoughts and feelings. It gives us the chance to reflect and gain deeper insights into our emotional state. In conversations, periods of silence can often lead to more meaningful discussions as they provide time for both parties to think before they speak.

Emotionally intelligent people understand the value of these quiet moments. They don’t feel the need to fill every pause in a conversation with chatter, and they’re not uncomfortable when left alone with their thoughts.

Instead, they embrace these opportunities for introspection and deeper understanding. If you’re someone who appreciates the quiet moments, it’s time to acknowledge this as a sign of your emotional intelligence.

3) You handle criticism well

Receiving criticism can be tough. It’s natural to feel defensive or upset when someone points out our flaws or mistakes. However, if you’re someone who can take criticism in stride, learn from it, and use it as a tool for self-improvement, this is a clear sign of emotional intelligence.

When we react poorly to criticism, it’s often because our brains perceive it as a threat. This triggers the “fight or flight” response, leading to defensive behavior. But emotionally intelligent people have the ability to manage this initial emotional response and view the situation more objectively.

Instead of seeing criticism as a personal attack, they see it as an opportunity to grow. They welcome feedback and are open to change, which is a trait that many employers and partners find highly attractive.

So if you’re able to handle criticism with grace and maturity, you’re demonstrating a high level of emotional intelligence.

4) You forgive easily

Carrying grudges can be heavy. It’s like lugging around a backpack filled with stones, each stone representing a wrong done to you. If you’re someone who can let these stones tumble out easily, who can forgive and move on, this is a sign of emotional intelligence.

Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or condoning the actions of others. It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment and anger. It’s about understanding that everyone makes mistakes, and that holding onto those mistakes won’t change the past but it can affect your future.

Emotionally intelligent people understand this. They know that forgiveness is a gift they give to themselves, one that promotes inner peace and emotional well-being. They choose empathy over bitterness, understanding over spite.

If you’re quick to forgive, recognize this as a sign of your emotional intelligence. It’s a gentle strength that carries a lot of weight.

5) You don’t shy away from change

Change is a constant in life, yet it’s something many of us resist. It’s like being on a familiar path and suddenly finding the way blocked. We’re forced to take an unfamiliar route, and it’s natural to feel a bit lost or anxious.

But if you’re someone who can take these changes in stride, who can adapt and find your way even when the path is new and unknown, this is a sign of emotional intelligence.

Emotionally intelligent people understand that change isn’t necessarily bad. They see it as an opportunity for growth and learning. They are flexible and can adjust their sails when the wind changes direction.

So if you’re open to change, if you see detours not as roadblocks but as opportunities for exploration, then pat yourself on the back. Your adaptability is a clear sign of emotional intelligence.

6) You know when to say ‘no’

Remember that time when you were swamped with work, and yet, a colleague asked you to help out with their project?

Most people would feel obliged to say ‘yes’, even if it meant staying up late or sacrificing personal time. But you, you knew your limits.

You understand that saying ‘yes’ to everything is not only exhausting but can also lead to burnout or resentment. Instead of stretching yourself too thin, you choose to prioritize and maintain balance in your life.

Emotionally intelligent people have this skill. They know when to set boundaries and how to communicate them effectively. They understand that saying ‘no’ sometimes is not about being unkind or selfish, but about self-care and managing their energy.

So, if you’re someone who can gracefully decline requests when necessary, this is a sign of emotional intelligence. It shows that you respect your time and energy, and also encourages others to do the same.

7) You don’t play the blame game

Let’s be real, it’s easy to point fingers when things go wrong. It’s a simple way out, saving us from facing our own shortcomings. But if you’re someone who owns up to your mistakes, who takes responsibility instead of passing the buck, this is a sign of emotional intelligence.

Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. But what sets emotionally intelligent people apart is their ability to admit their errors and learn from them. They don’t waste time blaming others or making excuses. They take the hit, learn the lesson, and move forward.

If you’re someone who can swallow your pride and say, “I messed up,” give yourself some credit. It takes a lot of courage to admit when you’re wrong and it’s a clear indicator of emotional intelligence.

8) You practice self-awareness

At the end of the day, everything boils down to one thing – self-awareness. If you’re someone who is constantly in tune with your emotions, who understands why you react the way you do and is mindful of it, this is the ultimate sign of emotional intelligence.

Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. It’s the ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives, as well as their effect on others.

Emotionally intelligent people are self-aware. They recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and they understand how their actions affect those around them. They can manage their emotions effectively because they understand them.

So if you’re regularly checking in with yourself, acknowledging your feelings, and understanding your reactions, take heart. This self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence and a clear sign that you’re more emotionally intelligent than you give yourself credit for.

Final thoughts

In the journey of life, it’s not just about where we’re going, but also how we navigate the path. Emotional intelligence is a fundamental part of this journey—it’s our compass, guiding us through life’s ups and downs.

This article is here to help you recognize your strengths, to help you see that you’re more emotionally intelligent than you might realize. But remember, it’s not a race or a competition—it’s about personal growth.

Emotional intelligence is about fostering connections, understanding yourself and others, and navigating life with grace and resilience.

So here’s to embracing your emotional intelligence, celebrating your strengths, and continuing to grow. Here’s to a more empathetic, understanding, and emotionally savvy you!

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

If you want your adult child to enjoy your company, say goodbye to these 7 habits

8 subtle signs someone is financially well off (even if they try not to show it)