My granddad once told me, “The key to a fulfilling life is living it on your own terms.”
He was onto something. Those who truly live life on their own terms seem to have a certain spark, a zest for life that’s hard to ignore.
They’re unapologetically themselves and live life according to their rules. But how do they do it?
Here’s the kicker.
It may not always be apparent, but these individuals often say goodbye to certain limiting behaviors that hold most of us back from truly embracing life.
So, if you’re thinking, “How can I live life on my own terms?” read on. Here are seven behaviors that you might need to bid adieu to step into the life you’ve always wanted.
Remember: Living life on your own terms isn’t about disregarding others’ feelings or being reckless.
It’s about recognizing and shedding the things that limit you, giving you the freedom to be your authentic self.
1) Fear of failure
We’ve all been there.
That sinking feeling when you’re about to embark on something new, but then doubt creeps in.
“What if I fail?” you ask yourself, and before you know it, fear has you in its icy grip.
But here’s the truth.
Those who live life on their own terms have a different perspective on failure. They see it not as a pitfall to be avoided at all costs, but as an integral part of growth.
Failure, to them, is merely a stepping stone, a learning experience that brings them closer to their goals.
They embrace it. They take risks, they stumble, they fall, but most importantly, they get back up and try again.
By saying goodbye to the fear of failure, they free themselves from one of life’s biggest constraints and open up a world of possibilities.
2) Comparing oneself to others
Let me tell you a story.
I used to be an avid user of social media. Scrolling through my feed, I’d often find myself comparing my life with those of my friends, acquaintances, even strangers.
Their perfectly curated photos would make me question my achievements, my lifestyle, even my self-worth.
Sound familiar?
Then one day, I decided to take a break from it all. And guess what? It was liberating!
Here’s why.
Living life on your own terms means embracing your individual journey. It means acknowledging that everyone has their own unique path with its own unique challenges and triumphs.
Those who live life on their own terms understand this.
They celebrate their accomplishments, no matter how big or small, and understand that comparison is the thief of joy.
By biding farewell to comparisons, they cultivate self-love and acceptance, allowing them to fully appreciate their own journey and live a more fulfilling life.
3) Ignoring self-care
Let me paint you a picture.
You’re juggling a million things at once. Work, family, chores, social commitments – the list goes on.
You’re stretching yourself thin, running on empty, but you keep pushing because you believe that’s what you’re supposed to do.
But guess what?
That’s not living life on your own terms. That’s living life on society’s terms.
Those who truly live life on their own terms understand the importance of self-care. They know that in order to give to others, they first need to give to themselves.
They prioritize rest, they nourish their bodies, they indulge in activities that feed their soul.
They understand that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. It’s essential.
By saying farewell to the idea that self-care is a luxury or an act of selfishness, they ensure they have the energy and the mental strength to take on whatever life throws at them.
And that, my friend, is living life on your own terms.
4) Being a people pleaser
Have you ever found yourself saying “yes” to something when every fiber of your being was screaming “no”?
You’re not alone.
Many of us fall into the trap of people pleasing, trying to meet everyone else’s expectations at the expense of our own happiness.
But here’s the revelation.
Those who live life on their own terms don’t do this. They understand the value of their time and energy.
They know that it’s okay to say “no” when something doesn’t align with their values or priorities.
By turning away from people pleasing, they create space for what truly matters to them.
They set boundaries and respect their own needs, and in doing so, they find that they’re not only happier, but they also attract relationships that are more respectful and fulfilling.
Remember: It’s okay to put yourself first. Your wants and needs are just as important as everyone else’s.
5) Living in the past or future
Did you know that humans are the only species that spend so much time thinking about the past and future?
Strange, isn’t it?
We often get so caught up in past regrets or future anxieties that we forget to live in the present. We forget to savor the here and now.
But those who live life on their own terms have a different approach.
They understand that the past is a place of reference, not residence.
They know that the future is important to consider, but not at the cost of their present.
By saying goodbye to dwelling on the past or obsessing over the future, they ground themselves in the present moment.
They take each day as it comes, savoring every experience, every moment of joy, every lesson learned.
In essence, they truly live each day, making their journey more enriching and fulfilling.
6) Neglecting personal growth
Life can be a whirlwind, can’t it?
Juggling responsibilities, dealing with hurdles, and simply trying to keep up can often leave little room for personal growth.
But let me share something with you.
Those who live life on their own terms understand that they are works in progress. They cherish the journey of personal growth and self-discovery.
They understand that it’s okay to not have all the answers and that making mistakes is part of the process.
By saying goodbye to the pressure of perfection, they create space for learning and growth.
They learn to be patient with themselves, to celebrate their progress no matter how small, and most importantly, they learn to enjoy the journey.
It’s okay to be a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. We’re all learning and growing, and that’s what makes life so beautiful.
7) Not believing in oneself
The most significant limiting behavior, and often the hardest to let go of, is self-doubt.
Those who live life on their own terms believe in themselves. They trust their abilities, their decisions, and their potential.
They understand that self-belief is the cornerstone of a fulfilling life.
When they’re saying goodbye to self-doubt, they empower themselves to chase their dreams, to conquer their fears, and to truly live life on their own terms.
Believe in yourself. Trust your journey. You have the power within you to create the life you’ve always wanted.
The final takeaway
If you recognize any of these limiting behaviors in yourself, don’t be disheartened. Recognizing them is the first step towards living life on your own terms.
Remember, these behaviors don’t define you. They’re not permanent fixtures but patterns that can be changed with mindfulness and effort.
Start by observing your thoughts and actions. Notice when fear holds you back, or when you compare yourself to others.
Pay attention to your self-care habits, your tendency to be a people pleaser, or any inclination to live in the past or future.
Once these patterns are identified, it becomes easier to make conscious efforts towards change.
Ask yourself: Does this behavior serve me well? Is it aligning with who I want to be? Am I honoring my authentic self?
It may be a gradual process, but each small step towards saying goodbye to these behaviors is a step towards living life on your own terms.
Over time, you’ll find that self-belief and personal growth become second nature.
You’ll find a new sense of freedom in being your authentic self and living according to your own rules.
So be patient with yourself on this journey. Embrace the learning process and celebrate every victory, however small.
Remember: You have the power within you to live life on your own terms. All it takes is saying goodbye to the behaviors that limit you.