Eliza Hartley
There’s something incredibly special about friendships that stand the test of time.
These are the bonds that continue to grow, even as we ourselves age and change.
But maintaining deep friendships into old age isn’t a passive process; it takes effort, commitment, and certain unique habits.
These habits aren’t rocket science, but they’re often overlooked.
They’re the small, daily choices that over time build a friendship that lasts a lifetime.
And who knows? Maybe you’ll pick up a tip or two to keep your own friendships flourishing.
1) They prioritize communication
Communication is the lifeblood of any lasting relationship.
As we age, life gets busier. We get wrapped up in our own worlds, juggling our careers, families, and personal goals.
It’s all too easy to let friendships slide into the background.
But those who maintain deep friendships into old age understand the importance of regular communication.
They make it a habit to check in on their friends, not just when it’s convenient, but also when it’s needed.
They know that friendships thrive on shared experiences and conversations, and they make sure to keep these channels open and active.
Whether it’s a quick phone call, an email exchange or a cup of coffee together, these individuals take the time to communicate.
They understand that it’s these small interactions that keep the connection alive and deepen their bond over time.
Consistent communication isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about making your friends feel valued and important in your life.
It’s about staying involved, keeping up-to-date with their lives, and letting them know you’re there for them – no matter what.
2) They’re always there, in good times and bad
There’s a simple truth I’ve learned over the years – true friends show up.
Let me share a personal example.
A few years back, I went through a rough patch.
My job was demanding, my health wasn’t great, and life just seemed to be throwing curveballs at me from every direction.
It felt like I was in a dark tunnel with no end in sight.
That’s when I saw who my real friends were.
One friend, in particular, stood out. Despite having her own challenges, she made it a point to regularly check in on me.
She’d call me up, listen to my woes and offer words of comfort.
Sometimes, she’d even drop by with a home-cooked meal or a favorite book to cheer me up.
She didn’t have to do any of that. But she did because that’s what friends do – they’re there for each other during the tough times as well as the good ones.
People who maintain deep friendships into old age understand this. They don’t shy away when things get tough.
They step up, they show up and they stick around.
They know that it’s these moments of shared vulnerability that truly strengthen the bond of friendship.
3) They embrace change
Change is a constant in life, and it’s no different when it comes to friendships.
As we age, our interests evolve, our circumstances shift, and our perspectives on life can change dramatically.
These shifts can put a strain on friendships if we let them.
But those who maintain deep friendships into old age have a knack for navigating these changes.
They don’t resist the evolution of their friends or their relationship; they embrace it.
The ability to adapt to changes in relationships was a significant factor in the longevity of those relationships.
People who sustain lifelong friendships understand this. They accept that their friends will grow and change, just as they themselves will.
They see these changes not as threats to their friendship, but as opportunities for their relationship to evolve and deepen.
Embracing change allows these individuals to continue growing alongside their friends, strengthening their bond no matter what life throws their way.
4) They practice forgiveness
Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes, say things we don’t mean, and hurt those we care about, often unintentionally.
People who maintain deep friendships into old age recognize this. They understand that their friends, like themselves, are human and prone to error.
Instead of holding onto grudges or letting resentment fester, they practice forgiveness.
They choose to let go of the small misunderstandings and disagreements that can otherwise chip away at the foundation of their friendship.
Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the mistake.
It’s about choosing to move past it for the sake of the relationship.
This habit of forgiveness allows these individuals to maintain a sense of peace in their friendships, fostering a safe space where both parties feel understood and valued despite their flaws.
5) They value quality over quantity
Growing up, I was always under the impression that the more friends you had, the better.
As I’ve grown older, however, I’ve come to realize that this isn’t necessarily the case.
What truly matters isn’t the number of friends you have, but the depth and quality of those friendships.
Those who maintain deep friendships into old age understand this.
They focus on nurturing a few meaningful connections rather than spreading themselves thin across numerous superficial ones.
Having a handful of close friends who truly understand you, who accept you for who you are, and who are there for you when you need them is far more rewarding than having a large circle of acquaintances.
This focus on quality over quantity allows these individuals to invest their time and energy into building strong, lasting friendships that enrich their lives and stand the test of time.
6) They make an effort to stay connected
In this digital age, it’s easier than ever to stay in touch. But it also requires more effort to make those connections meaningful.
People who maintain deep friendships into old age don’t just rely on social media updates or occasional text messages.
They go the extra mile to keep the connection alive.
They make plans for regular meetups, be it for a coffee catch-up, a movie night, or a weekend trip.
They remember birthdays and anniversaries, and they make an effort to celebrate these special occasions together.
They understand that strong friendships require more than just passive interaction.
They require active involvement and shared experiences to keep the connection alive and thriving.
This habit of staying connected allows these individuals to keep their friendships vibrant and meaningful, keeping the bond strong even as they age.
7) They’re genuine
Above all, people who maintain deep friendships into old age are genuine.
They’re not afraid to be themselves and they don’t pretend to be someone they’re not.
They understand that honesty and authenticity are the cornerstones of any lasting relationship.
They show their true selves and allow their friends to do the same.
They don’t judge or criticize; they accept and appreciate their friends for who they truly are.
This authenticity creates a space of trust and mutual respect where deep, meaningful connections can flourish.
Being genuine is perhaps the most impactful habit you can cultivate if you want your friendships to last a lifetime.
The heart of the matter
The essence of maintaining deep friendships into old age goes far beyond the realm of habits and practices.
At its core, it’s about the human need for connection, understanding, and shared experiences.
A study was found that having deep, meaningful friendships can improve our health, happiness, and even longevity.
This speaks volumes about the impact these relationships have on our lives.
Those who maintain lifelong friendships recognize this.
They understand that friendships are not just about shared laughter and good times.
They’re about shared growth, mutual support, and a bond that transcends time.
These habits we’ve discussed aren’t just strategies for maintaining friendships; they’re a testament to the depth of human connection.
They’re about being there for one another, through thick and thin, in a world that is constantly changing.
As we reflect on these habits, it’s worth considering how we can incorporate them into our own lives. How can we deepen our existing friendships?
How can we foster new ones that have the potential to last a lifetime?
Because at the end of the day, it’s not about how many friends we have or how often we see them.
It’s about the quality of the connections we make and maintain, and how they enrich our lives and theirs.
That’s the heart of what it means to have and to be a lifelong friend.
