People who lack self-awareness often use these 8 phrases without realizing how they come across

We all like to think we understand ourselves pretty well. But the truth is, self-awareness is a skill—one that not everyone has mastered.

Some people go through life completely oblivious to how they come across to others. They say things that might seem harmless to them but actually reveal a lack of self-awareness.

The tricky part? They usually have no idea they’re doing it.

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, frustrated, or even a little drained, chances are you’ve encountered someone like this. And if we’re being honest, we’ve all probably been that person at some point too.

So what are the phrases that give it away? Here are eight common ones that people lacking self-awareness often use—without realizing how they sound.

1) “I’m just being honest”

Honesty is great—until it’s used as an excuse to be blunt, rude, or downright hurtful.

People who lack self-awareness often say this phrase after making a comment that was unnecessary or offensive. They think they’re just “telling it like it is,” but in reality, they’re ignoring how their words affect others.

True honesty isn’t about saying whatever comes to mind without a filter. It’s about being truthful while also being mindful of how you communicate.

If someone constantly hides behind “I’m just being honest” after upsetting people, chances are they’re not as self-aware as they think.

2) “I’m sorry you feel that way”

I used to think this was a perfectly fine way to apologize—until I realized it’s not really an apology at all.

A few years ago, a friend confronted me about something I had said that hurt her feelings. I didn’t mean to upset her, so I responded with, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” In my mind, I thought I was being considerate. But instead of making things better, she just looked more frustrated.

Later, I realized why. Saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” shifts the focus away from what I did and onto how the other person reacted. It’s a way of avoiding responsibility without outright refusing to apologize.

A real apology acknowledges the mistake and takes ownership of it. If I had been more self-aware back then, I would have simply said, “I’m sorry for what I said. That wasn’t my intention, but I understand why it hurt you.” That small shift makes all the difference.

3) “No offense, but…”

People who say this phrase almost always follow it up with something offensive.

It’s as if adding “no offense” somehow softens the blow—but it doesn’t. In fact, studies on communication show that disclaimers like this often make negative statements feel even harsher because they signal to the listener that something unpleasant is coming.

Someone with strong self-awareness would recognize that if they have to preface their words with “no offense,” what they’re about to say probably needs to be rephrased—or maybe doesn’t need to be said at all.

4) “I’m not like other people”

Everyone wants to feel unique—but constantly pointing it out can have the opposite effect.

People who lack self-awareness often say this to set themselves apart, but instead of coming across as interesting or special, it can sound arrogant or dismissive. It implies that they see themselves as superior to others, even if that’s not their intention.

The truth is, no one is exactly like anyone else. We all have our own experiences, perspectives, and quirks. Those who are truly self-aware don’t need to announce their uniqueness—they just let their actions speak for themselves.

5) “I’m just a blunt person”

I used to think being blunt was a good thing. I told myself it meant I was honest, direct, and not afraid to speak my mind.

But over time, I realized that whenever I said, “I’m just a blunt person,” it was usually after I had upset someone. Instead of taking responsibility for my words, I was using my personality as an excuse to be insensitive.

There’s nothing wrong with being direct—but there’s a big difference between honesty and rudeness. People with self-awareness understand that communication isn’t just about what you say—it’s also about how others receive it.

6) “I hate drama”

You’d think that the people who say this the most would be the ones who avoid drama—but it’s often the opposite.

I’ve noticed that those who constantly talk about how much they “hate drama” are usually the ones who seem to be surrounded by it. Whether it’s stirring up conflict, gossiping, or reacting strongly to small issues, they somehow always find themselves in dramatic situations.

Truly self-aware people don’t need to announce that they hate drama—they simply don’t engage in it. Instead of blaming others for creating chaos, they reflect on their own role in the situation and choose to handle things calmly.

7) “I don’t care what people think”

Saying this over and over doesn’t prove confidence—it usually proves the opposite.

People who truly don’t care what others think don’t feel the need to announce it. They simply live their lives on their own terms, without seeking validation or trying to convince others that they’re unaffected by opinions.

Ironically, the ones who say “I don’t care what people think” the most tend to care quite a bit. Instead of brushing things off, they often get defensive or try to justify themselves.

Self-aware people, on the other hand, recognize that caring about others’ opinions isn’t always a bad thing—it’s just about knowing when and whose opinions actually matter.

8) “That’s just how I am”

This phrase shuts down any possibility of growth.

People who say this often use it as a way to avoid change, as if their personality is set in stone. But self-awareness isn’t about stubbornly holding onto habits—it’s about recognizing where we can improve.

No one is perfect, and we all have blind spots. The difference is that self-aware people are willing to acknowledge them instead of using “That’s just how I am” as an excuse to stay the same.

Self-awareness is the key to growth

If you’ve read this far, you’ve probably realized that self-awareness isn’t just about understanding yourself—it’s also about understanding how you affect others.

The way we communicate shapes our relationships, and small shifts in how we speak can make a big difference. No one gets it right all the time, but the people who are willing to reflect, learn, and grow are the ones who build the strongest connections.

Because at the end of the day, self-awareness isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being open to seeing yourself more clearly—and that’s something we can all work on.