James Carter
Love.
It’s a simple four-letter word that holds a world of emotions within it.
Maybe you’ve felt it, maybe you haven’t. But true love, the kind that makes your heart flutter and your soul sing, that’s something different. Something special.
But what if I told you that some people, many without realizing it, exhibit certain behaviors that suggest they’ve never truly experienced it?
Intriguing, right?
Well, the truth is, love is not just about the butterflies in your stomach or the excitement of being with someone. It’s about connection, empathy, understanding and so much more.
And those who have never truly felt it often unknowingly display behaviors that speak volumes about their lack of this profound experience.
If you’re curious to know what these behaviors are, or perhaps wondering if you yourself have been showing them, keep reading.
Here are seven behaviors typically exhibited by people who have yet to experience true love.
Stay with me.
This isn’t about judging others or ourselves, but rather understanding and growing. After all, isn’t self-improvement part of our journey to becoming better humans?
1) They avoid vulnerability
Let’s start here.
Vulnerability is a natural and crucial part of any deep and meaningful relationship.
It’s about opening up, letting your guard down, and allowing someone else to see you for who you truly are – flaws and all.
Now, for those who have never experienced true love, vulnerability can be a terrifying concept.
They might fear rejection, judgment, or even betrayal. And so, as a defense mechanism, they keep their walls up.
They hide their true selves behind a mask of bravado or indifference.
But here’s the thing.
True love is about accepting and being accepted in return, flaws and all. It’s about letting someone see you at your weakest and still feeling loved and cherished.
If you or someone you know tends to avoid vulnerability, it might be a sign that true love hasn’t been experienced yet.
Remember, it’s not about criticism, but understanding. And with understanding comes growth.
2) They overvalue independence
This one hits close to home.
I’ve always been a fiercely independent person, priding myself on my ability to handle life’s challenges on my own.
But there came a point when I realized that my insistence on doing everything by myself was actually keeping me from experiencing the depth of connection that true love brings.
Here’s the thing, independence is important, no doubt about it. It’s empowering to know you can stand on your own two feet. But when it comes to love, a balance is necessary.
Those who have never experienced true love often place too much emphasis on their independence.
They fear that relying on someone else, even just a little, might make them weak or needy.
But the beauty of true love is that it doesn’t diminish your strength or independence. Instead, it enhances them.
It allows you to be yourself while also being part of something bigger, something beautiful.
While it was a tough lesson for me to learn, I’m glad I did. True love isn’t about losing your independence, but sharing your life with someone who respects and values it as much as you do.
3) They hold unrealistic expectations
We’ve all been there, haven’t we?
Envisioning that perfect person who understands us completely, who never makes mistakes, who fulfills our every need and desire. It’s a comforting fantasy, but that’s all it is – a fantasy.
People who have never experienced true love often cling to these unrealistic expectations. They believe that love should be flawless, effortless. But the truth? Love is messy.
It’s late-night arguments and tear-streaked pillows. It’s misunderstandings and miscommunications.
But it’s also laughter in the early hours of the morning, it’s forgiveness and compromise, it’s growing and learning together.
True love isn’t about finding someone perfect. It’s about finding someone imperfect, and loving them perfectly.
If you find yourself waiting for that flawless partner or flawless relationship, remember this – love isn’t a fairy tale. It’s real, raw, and beautifully imperfect. And that’s what makes it truly magical.
4) They struggle with self-love
This is a big one.
It’s often said that you can’t truly love someone else until you love yourself. And while this may sound cliché, it holds a lot of truth.
Those who haven’t experienced true love often wrestle with self-love.
They may be overly critical of themselves, focusing on their shortcomings rather than their strengths. They may feel unworthy of love and affection.
But here’s the catch.
True love begins with self-love. It’s about accepting yourself, flaws and all, and knowing that you are deserving of love and affection just as you are.
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-love, remember that it’s a journey. It takes time and patience, but it’s a journey worth embarking on.
After all, the first step to experiencing true love with someone else is experiencing it with yourself.
5) They’re always chasing “the spark”
Now, let’s talk chemistry.
It’s no secret that a strong physical attraction or an intense emotional connection can make us believe we’re in love. We’ve all felt that exhilarating rush, that intoxicating “spark”.
Did you know, however, that our brains release a cocktail of chemicals including dopamine, adrenaline, and oxytocin when we’re smitten?
These make us feel euphoric, energized, and emotionally attached.
However, those who have never experienced true love often mistake this initial rush for love itself.
They’re always in pursuit of this “high”, and when it fades, as it inevitably does, they believe the love has faded too.
But true love is not just about the spark. It’s about the fire that continues to burn long after the spark has faded.
It’s about the deep bond that forms over shared experiences, mutual respect, and enduring affection.
If you find yourself constantly chasing the spark, remember – true love is a slow burn. And like any fire, it takes time, patience, and care to keep it burning brightly.
6) They fear commitment
Let’s be gentle with ourselves here.
The fear of commitment is something many of us grapple with. It’s a fear that can stem from various sources – past heartbreak, fear of loss, or even the simple fear of making the wrong choice.
People who have never experienced true love often harbor this fear.
They might avoid long-term relationships, keep their partners at an arm’s length, or even sabotage potential relationships before they get too serious.
But here’s a warm truth:
True love is a commitment – to understanding, to patience, to growth. It’s about choosing that same person over and over again, even when times are tough.
If you or someone you know fears commitment, it’s okay. It’s a fear that can be overcome with time, patience, and perhaps a little bit of courage.
After all, true love is worth overcoming our fears for. It’s worth taking the plunge.
7) They lack empathy
At the heart of true love lies one crucial element – empathy.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s about stepping into someone else’s shoes, feeling their joy and their pain as if it were your own.
Those who haven’t experienced true love might struggle with this. They might find it difficult to truly understand or relate to the feelings and experiences of others.
But in true love, empathy is essential. It’s what allows us to truly connect with our partners, to provide comfort in times of distress, and to share in their happiness.
Remember, empathy isn’t just about understanding others, it’s about opening our hearts to the experiences of others. And in doing so, we open our hearts to the possibility of true love.
Final thoughts
If you find these behaviors resonating with you, don’t despair.
The journey to experiencing true love often involves self-discovery and growth. It’s about breaking down walls, facing fears, and learning to embrace vulnerability.
Start by acknowledging these behaviors within yourself. Reflect on them. Understand them. And most importantly, be gentle with yourself as you navigate this path of understanding.
Remember, love is a journey, not a destination. It’s a process that requires patience, empathy, and self-love.
It’s about finding a balance between independence and connection, between the spark and the slow burn.
Take your time. Love isn’t something that can be rushed or forced. It happens in its own time, in its own way.
And remember, true love begins with you. With loving and accepting yourself just as you are. Because if there’s one thing to take away from all this, it’s that you are deserving of true love.
Let this be your first step on the journey towards true love – recognizing these behaviors within yourself and understanding them for what they are – not as flaws, but as signs of growth yet to come.
