Men from my generation were taught happiness only comes from financial success. It was a scam. Here’s how I let go of stress and built a life I actually enjoy.

I grew up with the idea that success equaled happiness.

Like many men in my generation, I believed that climbing the corporate ladder, buying a big house, and securing a flashy car were the hallmarks of a truly fulfilling life. If you had money, you had it all—right?

But as time passed, I noticed something was off.

I had the external signs of “making it,” but there was a gnawing sense of emptiness inside.

Eventually, I realized I wasn’t alone in feeling this way.

By the time I reached my late 20s, I was stressed, overwhelmed, and constantly chasing a moving target.

That was the turning point. The moment I decided I was done with the rat race and needed to build a life I actually enjoyed, not just a bank account.

This article shares how I broke free from the scam of chasing wealth for the sake of wealth, and the concrete steps I took to let go of stress and find real purpose in my day-to-day life.

The myth of the financial ladder

From an early age, we’re conditioned to believe that happiness is tied to money. There’s this unspoken promise: “Earn more, spend more, enjoy more.”

If you get good grades, you’ll get into a good university; if you graduate from a good university, you’ll land a high-paying job. The entire system seems set up for us to climb the so-called financial ladder.

But what they don’t tell you is that the ladder never ends.

Every time you reach a new rung, there’s another just above your head. As a result, you end up on this perpetual treadmill, always pushing, always hustling, always chasing.

In my experience, the biggest problem with this myth is that it places all your self-worth in what you can earn.

When you tie your identity to a salary figure, you risk feeling inferior when you’re not at the top—no matter how much you already have.

And even if you do become a “top earner,” you may find yourself constantly comparing your net worth to the next person’s, always feeling like you’re just a few steps behind.

Why the hustle felt hollow

I remember sitting in an expensive downtown restaurant with some work colleagues, bragging about our new deals.

The next day, I had a brand-new project with an even bigger potential payout. Yet, on the inside, I felt tired, anxious, and strangely hollow.

It took me a while to pinpoint exactly why I felt this way. We were doing what our culture deemed “winning.” So why did it feel like losing?

1. Lack of emotional fulfillment. The more I focused on piling up money, the less time I spent nurturing my relationships, passions, and personal growth. Yes, buying nice things temporarily boosted my mood, but it never filled the deeper need for real connection.

2. Burnout. Hustling 60, 70, or even 80 hours a week drains your mental, emotional, and physical energy. At some point, the stress leaves you numb, robbing you of the ability to enjoy the very life you’re working so hard for.

3. Misaligned values. Once I slowed down, I realized that I actually prized freedom, learning, and being present more than I valued a big paycheck. But my actions told a different story. I was sacrificing my real values at the altar of financial gain.

It’s like buying a product you don’t actually want just because everyone around you says you should. Eventually, you look at the receipt and think, “Wait a minute, what was I even doing?”

Breaking the chain of stress

Letting go of the stress tied to financial pursuits wasn’t an overnight switch. It took several small steps that added up to a massive change in my outlook.

• Mindful self-checks. One of the first things I did was set a reminder on my phone for a daily “pause.” This was usually just five minutes of breath awareness or a quick walk outside. It gave me a chance to check in with myself, notice where my head was, and consider if my actions that day matched what I actually valued.

• Redefining necessity. I started questioning every “must-do” or “must-buy.” Was that new gadget I was drooling over a true necessity or just another status symbol? Was working late every night something I needed to do for my career, or was it my fear of not appearing dedicated enough?

• Finding supportive environments. I noticed that many of my friends were also trapped in the same cycle of stress and financial ambition. So I sought out communities—both in person and online—where the focus was on well-being, mindfulness, and growth. 

These steps didn’t solve my problems overnight, but they began to chip away at the massive burden of stress I’d carried for years.

Redefining what success means

I’ve talked about this in a previous post, but redefining success was a big deal for me. I realized that what I really wanted wasn’t just money. I wanted:

Freedom: The ability to control my own schedule and do meaningful work without feeling chained to an office desk.

Authentic relationships: Friends and partners who understand and support me, even when I’m not winning awards or landing huge clients.

A sense of purpose: Using my skills and time in a way that aligns with my values—helping people, creating things that matter, and continually learning.

It’s a simple list, but it revolutionized the way I approached work.

If something didn’t offer me at least one of these three things—freedom, authentic relationships, or real purpose—I started saying “no” to it, or at least “not now.”

That shift alone freed up time and energy to go after opportunities that actually resonated with me.

The mindset shift that changed everything

One of the most important lessons I learned—and something I often reference in my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, is the concept of impermanence.

Things don’t last forever—money, status, even our own mental states. I realized that chasing after something that naturally slips through my fingers only leads to more anxiety.

Instead, I tried focusing on presence over permanence. I asked myself, “What small step can I take right now that aligns with the life I want?”

Maybe it was scheduling a run in the morning, carving out time to read a new Buddhist text, or calling my parents just to say hi.

This approach also changed my relationship with work. I no longer saw my tasks as stepping stones to some distant goal, but as small contributions to the life I wanted to live each day.

Building a life I actually enjoy

After letting go of the “always on” approach to career-building, I found new ways to incorporate joy, rest, and growth into each day. Here’s what that looks like for me:

Creating boundaries around work.

Setting a cutoff time each evening was scary at first—I worried my productivity would drop or I’d miss out on a promotion.

But ironically, giving myself a hard stop each day (and actually sticking to it) made me more productive when I was working. Burnout decreased, and I had the energy to explore passion projects.

Cultivating hobbies that nurture my mind and body.

I started running more regularly and exploring mindfulness practices. These outlets gave me a healthy way to manage stress and improved my focus.

Surrounding myself with people on a similar journey.

I was lucky to find a couple of friends who were also fed up with the hustle culture. We hold each other accountable, whether it’s trading tips on mindfulness or sharing personal breakthroughs.

Having a support system—no matter how small—can make all the difference when you’re making life-altering changes.

Perhaps most importantly, finding your ‘why’

One of the best books I’ve read on this subject is “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek. He explains that knowing your deeper purpose can propel you through challenges and keep you focused when distractions arise.

This resonated strongly with me because I realized I’d been chasing money without ever considering my deeper purpose in life.

It turned out my “why” wasn’t about having the biggest house on the block.

Instead, it was about growing as a person, helping others do the same, and experiencing life with a genuine sense of curiosity. When I started living with that in mind, the pieces of my life fell into place in a much more fulfilling way.

Final words

The biggest takeaway is simple:

Don’t let a cultural script determine your version of happiness.

Challenge the narrative, take charge of your own story, and dare to define success on your own terms. Even if you still choose to aim high in your career, do it with mindfulness, purpose, and a clear sense of self.

Because the real scam wasn’t the pursuit of money itself—it was the lie that it would solve all your problems and give you unshakable joy.

True happiness?

That has more to do with living authentically, staying present, and investing in the things that genuinely matter to you. And when you finally embrace that, you’ll be amazed at how quickly the stress melts away and a richer, more meaningful life takes its place.