Minh Tran
I’ve always been more of a wallflower than a spotlight grabber. Confidence, for me, was like a language that I couldn’t quite grasp.
That was until I stumbled upon The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.
You see, these pillars offered me insights that fundamentally shifted my perspective.
They didn’t just teach me how to fake confidence, they showed me how to cultivate it from within.
Now, I’m not saying I have become the embodiment of self-assuredness overnight. But I’ve certainly learned how to carry myself with more self-belief and poise.
In this article, I’m going to share with you the transformative wisdom that has helped me step out of the shadows and into my own light.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re fading into the background, stick around—these insights might just change the way you carry yourself too.
1) Acceptance: Embrace yourself, flaws and all
Who among us is perfect? The answer is simple: no one.
For the longest time, I grappled with this reality. I used to think that my imperfections were drawbacks, roadblocks that kept me from being confident.
Then I delved into The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem and came across the concept of self-acceptance. This doesn’t mean celebrating your flaws or refusing to improve.
Rather, it’s about acknowledging that they exist and understanding they’re a part of what makes you unique.
It’s about realizing that it’s okay to be a work in progress, that it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
This shift in perspective completely changed how I carry myself.
No longer was I trying to hide my flaws or pretend they didn’t exist. Instead, I embraced them as a part of who I am.
The truth is, people aren’t drawn to perfection—they’re drawn to authenticity. And there’s nothing more authentic than accepting yourself, just as you are.
The first step in boosting your confidence? Embrace yourself, with all your quirks and idiosyncrasies. It’s a game changer, believe me.
2) Living consciously: Awareness is the key
There were times when I’d find myself in a room full of people, feeling like I was on the outside looking in. I’d be there physically, but mentally, I was miles away.
The second pillar of self-esteem, living consciously, changed that for me.
It enlightened me about the power of staying present and aware.
Once, during a family gathering, I found myself retreating into my shell, my lack of confidence rearing its head.
Instead of giving in to my usual instinct to withdraw, I decided to consciously acknowledge what I was feeling.
I recognized my discomfort, my urge to disappear into the background.
But instead of letting it control me, I gently reminded myself that these feelings were just that—feelings—and they didn’t have to define my actions.
I forced myself to engage in conversations actively and listen attentively.
And guess what? The focus shifted from my insecurities to the stories and experiences being shared.
Living consciously doesn’t mean you won’t feel uncomfortable or awkward at times. It means acknowledging those feelings and choosing to stay engaged anyway.
This pillar taught me that awareness is the first step towards change. And it could be yours too.
3) Self-responsibility: Taking charge of your own life
Did you know that the average person makes about 35,000 decisions each day?
That’s a lot of choices, and each one, in some way, shapes our lives.
This brings us to the third pillar of self-esteem: self-responsibility. It’s about realizing that we are in control of our choices and actions.
It means understanding that while we can’t control what happens to us, we can certainly control how we react to it.
When we take responsibility for our lives, we start to understand that we have the power to change things.
We stop playing the victim and start becoming the authors of our own stories.
This shift in mindset can significantly impact your confidence.
When you realize that you have the power to shape your life, you start carrying yourself with a newfound sense of self-assuredness.
No matter what life throws at you, you have the power to choose your response. And that’s a pretty empowering thought.
4) Self-assertiveness: Speaking your truth
For a long time, I struggled with voicing my thoughts and opinions.
The fear of judgment or rejection often held me back.
But the fourth pillar of self-esteem, self-assertiveness, taught me the importance of expressing myself authentically.
Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive or confrontational.
It’s about communicating your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a respectful and honest way.
It means standing up for yourself and your beliefs, even when it’s uncomfortable or difficult.
The more I practiced self-assertiveness, the more confident I became. I learned that my voice mattered and my opinions were valid.
And you know what? The world didn’t crumble when I started to assert myself. In fact, people started to respect me more for it.
Don’t be afraid to speak your truth. Your voice deserves to be heard just as much as anyone else’s.
5) Living purposefully: Setting goals and pursuing them
I used to drift through life aimlessly, with no real purpose or direction. I often felt overwhelmed, like I was just trying to keep my head above the water.
But then I discovered the fifth pillar of self-esteem: living purposefully.
This means setting goals for yourself and making a conscious effort to achieve them.
And so I did just that. I started small, setting daily and weekly goals for myself.
Whether it was reading a book, learning a new skill, or even just going for a run, each goal gave me something to strive for.
As I started achieving these small goals, I noticed a change. Not only was I becoming more confident, but I felt fulfilled and motivated.
Each accomplishment was a reminder that I was capable of achieving what I set out to do.
Living purposefully gave my life direction and meaning. And it can do the same for you. Start setting your own goals, no matter how big or small.
It’s an empowering journey of self-discovery and growth.
6) Personal integrity: Being true to yourself
The sixth and final pillar of self-esteem is personal integrity. It’s about being true to your word and maintaining consistency between what you believe and how you act.
Integrity is the foundation of trust, both in ourselves and in our relationships with others.
When we live in alignment with our values, we build a strong sense of self-worth.
I started being more mindful of my actions, ensuring they reflected my beliefs.
It wasn’t always easy, and I faltered at times, but the commitment to staying true to myself was worth it.
Being honest and authentic instills a deep sense of confidence.
When you know you’re living in line with your values, it shows in how you carry yourself.
Hold fast to your personal integrity. It’s not just about doing what’s right but about being someone you can be proud of.
7) The journey never ends: Continual growth and learning
Building self-esteem isn’t a one-time task with a clear end point. It’s a lifelong journey of growth and learning.
There will be days when you’ll stumble, when your confidence will waver. It’s okay.
What matters is that you pick yourself up, learn from these experiences, and continue to move forward.
Every setback is an opportunity for growth. Every challenge is a chance to become stronger.
Keep exploring, keep growing, and most importantly, keep believing in yourself.
You’re stronger and more capable than you think. And that’s the most important thing to remember on this journey.
Final thoughts: Confidence is an inside job
The journey to self-confidence often begins with a single step – the step towards self-awareness.
Understanding that confidence is not about being the loudest in the room, or the most charismatic, but rather about being comfortable in your own skin is a game changer.
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem are not magic tricks that will transform you overnight.
They are tools that, when integrated into your life, can help you build a solid foundation of self-belief.
Remember, each one of us is unique, with our own sets of strengths and weaknesses.
Embrace them. Own them. They make you who you are.
When you start to accept yourself, live consciously and purposefully, assert your needs, take responsibility for your actions, and maintain your integrity, you’ll naturally exude confidence.
In essence, building confidence is an inside job. It’s about acknowledging your worth and embracing your authentic self.
And when you do that, you’ll find that confidence will follow naturally.
Embark on this journey of self-discovery and growth. Be patient with yourself. And remember, the most important opinion is the one you have of yourself.
