James Carter
You know, it’s funny how much our body language says about us, even when we’re not saying a word.
Trying to appear more approachable isn’t just about what comes out of our mouths. It’s also about what our bodies are silently saying.
It’s like a secret language everyone can understand, but most of us aren’t aware we’re speaking.
And if we’re not careful, it can give off the impression that we’re more closed-off than we really are.
That’s why I’ve put together a list of body language habits you should avoid.
Because once you’re aware of these habits, you can start to change them.
And changing them? Well, that’s the first step towards being the kind of person people naturally want to connect with.
1) Crossed arms
This is a classic one, folks.
We’ve all been there. You walk into a room and see someone standing there with their arms crossed. It’s like an invisible wall goes up.
Crossing your arms is often seen as defensive or unapproachable.
It’s like you’re physically closing yourself off from the person you’re interacting with.
It’s a universal signal and one that can be pretty hard to misinterpret. Most people subconsciously read it as “stay away”.
And while you might just be cold or feel comfortable standing that way, it’s worth making the effort to change that habit.
Being approachable isn’t always about what we’re consciously saying or doing, it’s also about those subtle signals our body sends out.
Next time you find yourself folding your arms, take a moment to uncross them. It might just make someone feel more comfortable approaching you.
2) Lack of eye contact
Now, this one’s a bit tricky. You see, I’ve always been a bit shy.
And for the longest time, I struggled with maintaining eye contact.
I’d be in a conversation, and my eyes would start darting around the room, anywhere but at the person I was talking to. I didn’t even realize I was doing it.
But then a friend pointed it out to me. And to my surprise, she admitted that it made me seem less approachable.
She said it felt like I wasn’t really present in our conversations, like I was always looking for an escape route.
That hit me hard. Here I was, trying to connect with people, but my body language was sending the exact opposite message.
So, I started working on it. It was uncomfortable at first, but gradually I got better at maintaining eye contact during conversations.
And you know what? It made a huge difference.
People began to open up to me more. They felt seen and heard. And all because of a simple change in my body language.
If you’re like me and struggle with eye contact, give it a try. It might feel awkward at first, but trust me, it’s worth it.
3) Facing away
Our feet often point in the direction of our interest.
If you’re in a conversation and your feet are pointed towards the door, it gives off the impression that you’d rather be somewhere else.
Even if you’re fully engaged in the conversation, this seemingly insignificant body language habit can make you appear closed-off and unapproachable.
On the flip side, when you face the person you’re interacting with, it signals that you’re fully present and engaged.
Next time you’re in a conversation, take a moment to notice where your feet are pointing.
You might be surprised at what they’re saying about you.
4) Fidgeting
Sometimes, our nerves get the best of us, and we end up fidgeting.
Twirling a pen, tapping a foot, or constantly checking your phone can seem like harmless habits, but they send a clear message to others around you: you’re not fully present.
Fidgeting can come across as impatience or restlessness.
It gives off the impression that you’re not comfortable or that you’d rather be somewhere else.
To appear more approachable, it’s important to convey a sense of calm and attentiveness.
Focus on the person you’re interacting with and try to keep the fidgeting to a minimum.
It’s not just about what you say, but also how you say it – and that includes your body language.
5) Hiding your hands
Believe it or not, our hands say a lot about us. They’re a powerful tool for communication.
There was a time when I was always hiding my hands, like in my pockets or behind my back.
I didn’t even realize I was doing it. But it was a habit that was subtly signaling to others that I was not open or trustworthy.
When our hands are visible, it helps to create a sense of trust and openness. It shows that we have nothing to hide.
So, I made the conscious effort to keep my hands visible during conversations. And while it felt uncomfortable at first, over time, it started to feel more natural.
And the best part? It helped me build better connections with people around me.
Don’t underestimate the power of showing your hands. It can make a world of difference in how approachable you appear to others.
6) Lack of smiles
A smile is one of the most powerful tools we have in our communication arsenal.
It’s a universal sign of friendliness and warmth.
But when we’re stressed or preoccupied, we often forget to smile. We might even come off as stern or unapproachable without realizing it.
Smiling not only makes you appear more approachable, but it also creates a positive energy around you that others can pick up on.
Make an effort to smile more. Not a forced or fake smile, but a genuine one.
It can make you seem more approachable and can even brighten someone else’s day.
7) Closed-off posture
Let’s get to the heart of it. Your overall posture is the ultimate tell-all of your openness and approachability.
Hunching over, slumping in your chair, or constantly looking down sends a clear message: you’re not open for interaction.
On the other hand, an upright posture and lifted chin signify confidence and receptiveness.
It shows you’re comfortable in your own skin and ready to engage with others.
Pay attention to your posture. It’s a silent communicator, speaking volumes about you before you even utter a word.
Final thought: It’s all about awareness
There you have it. We’ve delved deep into the quiet language of our bodies and how it impacts our approachability.
But here’s something to ponder: much of our body language is habitual. We often don’t even realize that we’re crossing our arms, avoiding eye contact, or hiding our hands.
The real magic happens when we become aware of these habits.
Only then can we consciously choose to change them.
And the results? They can be transformational.
Not only can you become more approachable, but you can also build stronger connections with those around you.
Take a moment to reflect. What subtle messages is your body sending out? What changes can you make?
Your body language is a powerful tool in shaping how others perceive you.
Use it wisely.
