Minh Tran
There’s a fine line between active listening and simply waiting for your turn to talk.
Let’s be honest, we’ve all been in a conversation where we catch ourselves tuning out, just waiting for our turn to share our thoughts.
But here’s the thing—genuine communication involves more than just speaking; it requires truly listening.
Sometimes, the subtle signs of body language can reveal more than words ever could.
As someone who’s passionate about mindfulness and interpersonal connections, I’ve come to realize that body language speaks volumes about our attentiveness (or lack thereof).
In this article, I’ll share with you seven body language signs that someone isn’t really listening – they’re just waiting for their chance to speak.
Trust me, once you learn these signs, your conversations will never be the same again:
1) They’re locked in a ‘speaker’s stance’
Let’s start with the basics: body posture.
A person who’s genuinely listening tends to lean in, nod, and maintain an open posture.
But what happens when the opposite is true?
Enter the ‘speaker’s stance’.
This is when someone leans back, arms crossed, and seems to be just waiting for their chance to talk.
The speaker’s stance is a clear indicator of someone’s intent.
It’s like they’re physically holding back their words, ready to unleash them at the first opportunity.
It’s a subtle sign, but once you learn to spot it, you’ll start seeing it everywhere.
It might even make you rethink how you approach your own conversations.
Remember, practicing mindful communication is not just about talking—it’s about truly hearing what others have to say.
The next time you see someone in the ‘speaker’s stance’, gently call them out or steer the conversation towards more active listening.
It could transform the entire dynamic of your interaction.
2) They’re constantly interrupting
Now, let me share a personal experience with you.
A few years ago, I had a friend who had a habit of constantly interrupting during conversations.
I would start to share something, and before I could even finish my thought, he’d jump in with his own comment or story.
At first, I brushed it off.
But over time, it became clear that he wasn’t really listening to what I was saying—he was just waiting for his chance to speak.
Constant interruptions are a clear body language sign that someone is not fully engaged in the conversation.
Their mind is already racing with what they want to say next, and they can hardly wait to get their words out.
If you notice this behavior in someone, consider pointing it out gently; if you catch yourself doing it, take a deep breath and refocus on the person speaking.
Mindful listening is a skill that takes practice, but it’s worth the effort for the richness it brings to our conversations.
3) Their gaze is everywhere but on you
Did you know that the average person only makes direct eye contact 30% to 60% of the time during a conversation?
When someone is truly listening, their eyes are focused on the speaker.
They’re present, engaged, and invested in the exchange.
But when someone is just waiting for their chance to speak, their gaze tends to wander.
They might be looking at their watch, scanning the room, or even checking their phone.
This lack of eye contact can be a clear indicator of a lack of interest or attentiveness, and it’s a sign that the person you’re talking to might not really be listening.
The next time you’re in a conversation, pay attention to where the other person’s eyes are.
It might tell you more about their engagement level than any words could.
4) They give non-committal responses
Another classic sign that someone might not really be listening is when they give non-committal responses.
You know what I’m talking about – those generic “uh-huhs”, “yeahs”, and “rights” that don’t really contribute to the conversation.
These responses signal that they’re physically present, but not necessarily mentally or emotionally engaged.
Non-committal responses are the conversational equivalent of being on autopilot.
The person isn’t really processing what you’re saying—they’re just waiting for their turn to speak.
5) Their body is turned away from you
I remember a particular conversation I had with someone a while back.
While I was talking, I noticed that his body was turned away from me.
His feet were pointed towards the door, and it felt like he was itching to leave.
I recall feeling a pang of disappointment.
Here I was, sharing my thoughts, and all he seemed to want was an escape route.
It was a clear sign that he wasn’t really listening, but just waiting for his chance to exit the conversation.
Body orientation can tell you a lot about someone’s level of engagement in a conversation.
If their body is turned towards you, it shows they’re invested in what you’re saying—but if they’re facing away or towards the exit, it could be a sign that they’re not really listening.
The next time you’re in a conversation, pay attention to the other person’s body orientation.
It can give you insights into how engaged they are in the conversation.
6) Their facial expressions don’t match the conversation
Facial expressions can reveal a lot about someone’s thoughts and feelings.
They’re a natural, instinctive way of communicating our emotions.
But what happens when someone’s facial expressions don’t match the tone or content of the conversation?
It might be an indication that they’re not really listening.
For example, if you’re sharing something serious or heartfelt and the other person is smirking or looking bored, it’s a clear sign that they’re not fully engaged.
Instead, they’re probably just waiting for their chance to steer the conversation in a different direction.
7) They’re not asking follow-up questions
If there’s one surefire sign that someone is truly listening, it’s when they ask thoughtful follow-up questions.
These questions show that they’re processing what you’re saying, understanding it, and are interested in learning more.
It’s a clear sign of active, engaged listening.
However, when someone is just waiting for their turn to speak, they usually don’t ask these kinds of questions.
Instead, they’re focused on what they want to say next, not on deepening their understanding of your perspective.
Remember, if you’re in a conversation and the other person isn’t asking follow-up questions, chances are they’re not really listening.
Final thought: It’s all about connection
When it comes to human interaction, the essence lies in connection.
One key aspect of this connection is active listening.
It’s more than just hearing the words – it’s about understanding, empathizing, and reciprocating.
Yet, in our fast-paced world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of waiting for our turn to speak rather than truly listening.
We’re often preoccupied with our own thoughts, opinions, and responses that we neglect the person speaking.
These seven body language signs are a reminder for us all.
They urge us to step back, slow down, and really listen—to set aside our impatience to speak and tune into the words of others.
In doing so, we not only show respect for the speaker but also open ourselves up to new perspectives and deeper connections.
The richness of human connection lies in our ability to understand and be understood – and that requires active, mindful listening.
