8 body language cues that instantly reveal what someone is really thinking

Navigating the labyrinth of human communication, I’ve often found myself wondering: What is this person really thinking? I mean, their words are saying one thing but their eyes, their posture, their nervous fidgeting… it’s all suggesting something else entirely.

I’ve been down that rabbit hole, trying to decipher the code of body language and I’ve got to tell you, it’s not as mysterious as it seems.

Sure, we’re complex creatures with a myriad of emotions and thoughts swirling around our heads. But, believe it or not, we’re not as good at hiding them as we think.

Now I’m not claiming to be a mind reader. Far from it.

But over years of observing and interacting with people, I’ve picked up on some universal cues. Eight body language signals that are like a neon sign flashing: “This is what I’m really thinking!”

Peeling back the layers of these subtle yet powerful cues can be transformative. They can help us understand others better, build deeper connections and even bring a sense of clarity in our relationships.

In the following paragraphs, I’m going to share these eight body language cues with you. And by the end of it, you’ll be able to read people like an open book too. Just don’t hold me responsible for any superpowers you might develop along the way!

So buckle up and prepare to delve into the fascinating world of non-verbal communication. Because it’s about time we started listening not just to words, but also to the silent language of the body.

1) The truth is in the eyes

We’ve all heard it said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. And in my experience, there’s a ton of truth to that.

When someone is hiding something or not being entirely truthful, their eye contact may falter. They might avoid looking at you directly or their gaze may dart around nervously. This isn’t because they’re bad people or trying to deceive you intentionally, it’s simply a subconscious reaction to discomfort.

On the flip side, if someone is genuinely engaged with you and what you’re saying, their eyes will show it. They’ll maintain steady eye contact and might even have a sparkle in their eyes.

But it’s not just about whether they’re looking at you or not. It’s also about how they’re looking at you. For instance, if someone’s pupils dilate when they look at you, that’s often a sign of attraction or excitement.

So next time you’re talking to someone, don’t just listen to their words. Pay attention to their eyes as well because they might just be telling you more than their words ever could.

2) The says-it-all smile

When it comes to revealing what someone is really thinking, nothing speaks louder than a smile. A genuine smile can light up a room and instantly make you feel at ease.

But a forced or insincere smile? It can feel as cold as ice.

I remember this one time I was conversing with an old friend I hadn’t seen for many years. He greeted me with a big, wide smile. But something was off.

Despite the seemingly friendly gesture, his eyes didn’t match the warmth of his smile. They were flat, almost distant.

That’s when I realized that not all smiles are created equal.

A genuine smile – what psychologists call a ‘Duchenne smile’ – doesn’t just involve the mouth. It lights up the entire face, especially the eyes. When someone is genuinely happy or excited to see you, their whole face will be involved in their smile.

However, a fake or forced smile only involves the mouth. The eyes remain untouched, giving away that the person might not be as happy or excited as their smile suggests.

So next time you’re meeting someone, pay close attention to their smile. It could be one of the most revealing body language cues about what they’re truly feeling.

3) The silent conversation of touch

The legendary Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

And nothing makes us feel quite as powerfully as touch does.

Touch is a language in itself. A pat on the back, a comforting hug, a reassuring hand squeeze – each has a profound way of communicating emotions that words often fail to convey.

But the way someone touches you (or refrains from touching you) can tell you a lot about what they’re thinking too.

When someone is open and comfortable with you, they are more likely to initiate touch. They might give your arm a light squeeze, or lightly touch your shoulder as they laugh at your joke. These subtle gestures indicate a level of comfort and rapport.

On the other hand, if someone is uncomfortable or not entirely on board with what’s being discussed, their touch can become rigid or non-existent.

The key here is to be observant and sensitive to these signals. They’re subtle and easy to miss, but once you start paying attention, they can provide invaluable insights into the thoughts and feelings of others.

4) The language of the legs

Did you know that the direction in which a person’s legs are pointing can be a huge indicator of their thoughts and feelings?

It’s true. Often overlooked, our legs can communicate volumes about what we’re really thinking.

When we’re engaged and interested in a conversation or a person, our legs are likely to point towards them. It’s as if we’re subconsciously saying, “You have my full attention.”

But when someone’s legs are pointed away from you, even if they’re maintaining eye contact and nodding along, it could be a sign that their mind is elsewhere. They might be anxious to leave or they may be uncomfortable with the situation.

Remember, body language is all about the bigger picture.

So don’t jump to conclusions based on one single cue. But do start paying attention to the direction of the legs because they might just be telling you what someone is really thinking.

5) The power of posture

Posture is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It can reveal confidence, interest, and attentiveness – or the lack thereof.

Let’s take a look at open and closed postures for instance. An open posture, where the person faces you with their arms and legs uncrossed, indicates comfort, receptivity and engagement. It says, “I’m here, I’m present and I’m interested in what you have to say.”

On the other hand, a closed posture – arms crossed over the chest, legs crossed tightly, body turned away from you – signals discomfort, defensiveness or disinterest.

I’ve found this particularly useful in meetings or group discussions. When someone is genuinely interested in what’s being discussed or shared, their posture will reflect that interest.

Conversely, a closed posture often means it’s time to change the topic or approach.

So keep an eye on posture. It can give you a lot of insight into what someone is truly thinking or feeling, even when their words are saying something else.

6) The give-away gestures

Gestures are like the punctuation marks of body language. They add emphasis, clarity, and sometimes, they reveal more than words could ever do.

Think about it. When someone is excited or passionate about something, their gestures become more animated. Their hands move more frequently and more widely. It’s a clear sign that their mind is buzzing with thoughts and ideas.

In contrast, when someone is unsure, nervous or trying to hide something, their gestures often become smaller and less frequent. They might fidget with their hands, adjust their clothing, or touch their face – all unconscious signals of discomfort.

I’ve observed these cues in countless conversations and meetings, and they’ve been incredibly telling. These seemingly insignificant gestures can provide a direct window into someone’s thoughts and feelings.

So next time you’re in a conversation, don’t just listen to the words. Watch the hands too. They might be painting a much clearer picture of what’s going on in someone’s mind.

7) The subtlety of space

Ever noticed how the distance between you and the person you’re talking to can change the entire dynamic of the conversation?

Space is a crucial part of body language. It can signal comfort, intimacy, or a need for distance.

When someone is comfortable with you, they tend to decrease the space between you. They might lean in while talking or listening, signaling their interest and engagement.

On the contrary, if someone is uncomfortable or disinterested, they’ll increase the space. They might lean back, cross their arms, or even take a step back. It’s their subconscious way of creating a barrier.

Over the years, I’ve realized that being aware of this space and respecting it can lead to more meaningful and comfortable interactions. It’s a dance of sorts, and once you start paying attention to it, you’ll better understand the rhythm of human communication.

So next time you’re interacting with someone, take note of the space between you. It could be telling you a lot about their comfort level and what’s going on in their head.

8) The mirror effect

Last but definitely not least, there’s a fascinating phenomenon called mirroring. It’s a subconscious behavior where people start to mimic the body language, gestures, or speech patterns of the person they’re interacting with.

Mirroring is a powerful signal of rapport and empathy. It shows that we’re in sync with the other person, that we understand them, and that we’re on the same wavelength.

If you notice that someone is mirroring your body language – be it your posture, your gestures, or even your speech patterns – it’s a good sign that they’re really engaged with you and what you’re saying.

On the other hand, a lack of mirroring can suggest disagreement or a disconnect. It might be that they’re not fully engaged, or they’re not on the same page as you.

Of all the body language cues I’ve learned over the years, I find mirroring to be one of the most insightful. It’s like a silent affirmation that says, “I get you.”

So the next time you’re having a conversation with someone, pay attention to whether or not they’re mirroring you. It could be an instant giveaway of what they’re really thinking.

Wrapping it up

As we navigate the ocean of human communication, the compass of body language can guide us through choppy waters.

Reading body language is less about decoding a secret language and more about tuning in. It’s about being present, observing, and understanding the person in front of you. This skill can enhance your relationships, your professional life, and even your understanding of yourself.

Becoming aware of these eight cues is just the beginning. With practice, you’ll start noticing them in your everyday interactions. You’ll begin to understand people on a deeper level, seeing beyond their words to what they’re really thinking and feeling.

But remember, body language is only one piece of the puzzle. It’s not an exact science and should be used in conjunction with other forms of communication.

So, take these insights and explore the world of non-verbal communication. Pay attention to the eyes that speak volumes, the smiles that tell stories, and the gestures that paint pictures. Observe the subtleties of space, the mirror effect in action, and see how posture speaks louder than words.

And as you do, remember the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” Happy observing!

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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