9 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you’re a naturally empathetic person

We all have different traits that make us who we are.

Some people are naturally assertive, some are analytical, and then there are those like me, Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast, who are inherently empathetic.

Being empathetic often means you understand others’ feelings without them having to explain. It’s a beautiful trait to have, but sometimes, it can lead you to do things unconsciously.

In this article, I’m going to highlight the 9 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you’re a naturally empathetic person. You might be surprised by some of them!

So let’s get started, shall we? 

1. Feeling others’ pain

Empathy can be a double-edged sword. It allows you to connect deeply with others, but it also means you feel their pain as if it’s your own.

This is an unconscious behavior for naturally empathetic people.

You might find yourself often feeling emotionally exhausted after spending time with someone who is going through a rough patch.

You have a knack for absorbing others’ emotions, which can leave you feeling drained without even realizing why.

This absorption of emotions is more than just understanding what someone is going through; it’s about experiencing their feelings on a profound level.

And because this reaction is so instinctive for you, you might not even realize you’re doing it.

2. Constantly putting others first

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably found yourself putting the needs of others before your own on countless occasions.

That’s just part and parcel of being an empathetic person.

I remember a time when I was planning a much-needed vacation. But then, a friend was going through a rough breakup and needed someone to talk to. Without a second thought, I pushed my plans aside to be there for her.

This is an instinctive behavior for empathetic people. We feel compelled to prioritize others’ feelings over our own desires or needs. It might seem quite natural to us, but not everyone operates this way.

While it’s great to support others, it’s equally important not to neglect our own self-care.

As the old saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

3. You’re an excellent listener

One of the most compelling traits of naturally empathetic people is their ability to listen – truly listen. It’s not just about hearing what someone says, but understanding their feelings, intentions, and unspoken words.

You might find that people often turn to you when they need to vent or share their innermost thoughts. They trust you because they know you won’t just listen; you’ll empathize.

In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I discuss the concept of mindful listening and how it’s a crucial part of being empathetic.

Mindful listening is about giving your full attention to the person speaking, putting aside your thoughts, judgments, and solutions.

It means being fully present in the conversation, something that comes naturally to empathetic individuals.

4. You’re adept at reading body language

As an empathetic person, you likely have a keen ability to read others’ body language.

This goes far beyond words – you’re able to understand people’s emotions and intentions through their non-verbal cues, such as facial expressions, gestures, and posture.

This psychological phenomenon is known as “emotional contagion,” where one person’s emotions and related behaviors directly trigger similar emotions and behaviors in other people.

It’s an innate ability that empathetic individuals are particularly good at.

This skill can be incredibly beneficial in various situations, from personal relationships to professional settings. It allows you to sense when someone is uncomfortable or not saying what they truly feel.

However, it’s essential to remember that while body language can provide a lot of insights, it doesn’t give the full picture.

Always ensure you’re open to communication and ask for clarification if you’re unsure.”

5. You sometimes struggle with decision making

This might seem counter-intuitive, but being highly empathetic can sometimes make decision-making a challenge.

You’re so attuned to others’ feelings and perspectives that you might find it difficult to make choices that could potentially upset or disappoint someone.

You might also have a tendency to overthink decisions, considering all possible outcomes and how they might impact everyone involved.

While this can be beneficial in some scenarios, it can also lead to analysis paralysis – where you’re so caught up in evaluating options that you struggle to choose any course of action.

This doesn’t mean empathetic people are indecisive.

Rather, it’s a reflection of their deep concern for others’ feelings. It’s essential to remember that it’s impossible to please everyone all the time, and that’s okay.

6. You often feel misunderstood

Being naturally empathetic can sometimes make you feel misunderstood. People might see your deep understanding and absorption of others’ emotions as being overly sensitive or emotional.

This lack of understanding from others can be frustrating and isolating. However, it’s important to remember that your empathy is a gift – it allows you to connect with others on a profound level that many people may not understand.

In these moments, it’s essential to remind yourself of the value of your empathy and not let others’ misconceptions affect your self-perception.

7. You value deep connections over superficial ones

In a world filled with small talk and surface-level interactions, you crave meaningful conversations and authentic connections.

You’re not interested in chit-chat about the weather or the latest TV shows. Instead, you want to know what makes people tick, their dreams, fears, and passions.

This desire for depth in relationships can sometimes make social situations challenging. It may seem like everyone else is perfectly content with small talk while you’re yearning for something more substantial.

But here’s the thing, your desire for depth isn’t a flaw; it’s a strength.

It allows you to form genuine connections that are based on understanding and empathy, which are far more rewarding than any superficial interaction.

8. You instinctively avoid conflict

If you’re a naturally empathetic person, chances are, you have an innate aversion to conflict.

You feel other people’s distress acutely, and disagreements or confrontations can evoke strong emotional responses in you.

This instinct to avoid conflict can sometimes lead you to suppress your feelings or needs to keep the peace. While maintaining harmony is essential, it’s equally important to express your thoughts and stand up for yourself when necessary.

It’s a delicate balance, but with practice and self-awareness, empathetic individuals can learn to navigate conflict in a healthy, assertive manner without compromising their emotional well-being.

Wrapping up: It’s all about empathy

Our behaviors and tendencies often have deep-rooted connections with our unique emotional compositions. And for empathetic individuals, their actions are deeply woven with their ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

Being empathetic can sometimes feel overwhelming, but remember, it’s also a beautiful gift. It enables you to form genuine connections, understand others deeply, and make a positive difference in people’s lives.

In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I explore the concept of empathy further and how we can channel it for meaningful living.

So as you go about your day, remember to embrace your empathetic nature. It’s not something to be suppressed or hidden away; it’s something to be celebrated.