More than anything else, it’s our relationships that give meaning to our lives.
We are social creatures who live and die by the connections we build with those around us.
They give us meaning, purpose, and a reason to wake up when nothing else makes sense.
They are our sources of happiness and joy, and in many cases, our reason for living.
But there are some people will connect with so much more intimately and deeply than most. These are our kindred spirits.
Understanding the Kindred Spirit
A kindred spirit is someone that, from the very first moment you meet, you have a feeling that they understanding everything about you, and you them.
Regardless of your hobbies, interests, passions, backgrounds, and more, a kindred spirit is someone who will look at you from across the room and make you feel that you are not alone.
Those friends and loved ones closest to you? More likely than not, those are kindred spirits. But don’t confuse kindred spirits with lifelong friends.
Some kindred spirits enter our lives for even just a moment, or a single period. The length of your relationship has nothing to do with how much of a kindred spirit you can be with someone. It’s about the innate connection and nothing more.
What are Kindred Spirits exactly?
Some believe that kindred spirits are those that we must have had a close bond with in another life, or even in the spirit world.
Others believe that they are reincarnations of your lovers, friends, and family.
Do Kindred Spirits Have To Be a Lover?
No, not necessarily.
Kindred spirits come in all shapes and sizes, representing all types of relationship.
It’s true that more often than not, they are a close friend, family member or a lover.
But technically, a kindred spirit can be someone you only met once, but they just “got” you in that moment.
Of course, when we naturally have a deep connection like this, we like to keep these people in our life.
But that doesn’t always happen for many different reasons.
Is There a Unique Energy Between Kindred Spirits?
Many people talk about the unique energy between kindred spirits.
As people, we’re all made of energy, so of course, the energy between a kindred spirit is strong, positive and unbreakable.
It’s difficult to prove, but perhaps your kindred spirit shares the same inherent energy with you. This would make sense, given the bond between kindred spirits is beyond words.
If you think you might have a kindred spirit in someone new in your life, here are 10 ways to tell if someone is your kindred spirit:
1) You Feel When You Need Each Other
Have you ever had that strange, coincidental experience where someone reached out to you right out of the blue, exactly when you were feeling totally alone?
That person might be your kindred spirit. Kindred spirits have the uncanny ability to just know when one of their kindred spirits is in desperate need of help.
There might be moments where you will feel that no one in the world cares about you or your problems.
In those moments, your kindred spirit will feel that they are needed, and come rushing to your aid. Even if all you need is a hug.
2) They Will Make You Move Forward
There are friends who are content with us doing nothing with our lives—sticking to the same routines week after week and month after month, drinking and partying and throwing away our time.
Then there are friends who actually care; people who grab you by the shoulders and say, “What are you doing with your life?”
If you find yourself struggling to move forward, your kindred spirit is there to give that boost you need to get your momentum going.
They understand exactly where you’re coming from, probably because they’ve experienced similar situations.
So they know the best way to help and to get you to where you want to be.
3) They Will Help You Learn
A kindred spirit is never afraid to tell you the truth, especially if it means teaching you a vital lesson you need to learn.
Other people will hold back the harsh truth, because most people would rather spare themselves the awkward conversation or the reality of hurting you.
This is because they don’t really care about you; they care about themselves, and protecting themselves from feeling uncomfortable.
But a kindred spirit truly cares. If you need someone to tell you the truth about something, your kindred spirit will be there, ready to lay it on.
4) You Have Similar Principles
This isn’t about politics, left or right.
This is about the way you view life and humanity, and while you and your friends may have your general agreements and disagreements on certain issues, your kindred spirit will generally understand the world the same way that you do.
The bigger things in life will never be a point of contention—you live your lives the same way, which is why you connect as intimately as you do.
5) You Boost Each Other
You and your kindred spirit are like two adjacent pieces of a puzzle. You both make each other more whole.
Your interests, skills, and passions may not be exactly the same, but they find ways to complement each other.
Your kindred spirit is someone with whom you can easily go out with and have a great time, or someone you can start a business with and find immense success.
You guys will fit each other in more ways than one.
6) You Have Mutual Respect
No good relationship can exist without respect coming from both sides.
And this respect transcends politics and petty opinions—no matter what you say, your kindred spirit will understand where you are coming from and give you the respect you deserve.
Both for you know that support and encouragement is what the other person needs, which is why you will never be quick to judge your kindred spirit.
7) Understanding Beyond the Need for Words
It’s almost like you understand exactly what each other is thinking.
It’s hard to describe feelings. They’re complex, flying balls of energy that can’t be put into words.
But somehow, you “get” your partner’s feelings, even if you can’t articulate them.
A simple look into each other’s eyes says everything you need to know.
And this is the same in different social situations and circumstances. It’s like you know your partner’s uncomfortable before they know they are themselves!
It’s special connection that can’t be put into words.
8) You Always Have Each Other’s Backs
It doesn’t matter what’s happening and why it happened, you always support each other.
Everyone goes through tribulations that hard to overcome, but you both make sure that you don’t have to do it alone.
You provide solutions, support and unconditional love that’s impossible to break.
Let’s be honest, life is a bit of a game sometimes. But it’s a game that you want your kindred spirit to win.
9) You Grow and Learn From Each Other
If you’re growing, then you’re not really living, right?
Kindred spirits move forward in life and grow together.
The relationship naturally grows. From dating, to seeing each other exclusively, to living together, to marrying each other and having a family (if that’s what they desire).
It happens slowly. Why? Because the strongest relationships take time and build.
Kindred spirits know this. Otherwise, people fall into the trap of “needy love” and move too fast. A relationship based on neediness won’t survive.
Therefore, kindred spirits don’t “need” each other. They grow individually, which means releasing their unhealthy attachments and understanding their own self-worth.
When you’re both confident in who you are and you don’t suffocate the love that exists between the two of you, the potential of the relationship grows naturally and beautifully.
10) You Make Each Other Feel Complete
There are parts of you that you’ve always known are weaknesses.
Perhaps you suffer a little too much from anxiety. Or you can’t cook. Whatever it is, it’s like your kindred is good at those things. They love cooking and they’re cooler than the cucumber even in tense situations!
Likewise, your energy and passion is something that ignites them and gets them going. You compliment each other perfectly.
In fact, this is why introverts and extroverts make for a great relationship.
The point is this:
Your individual differences create a complete person when they’re combined. Differences can tear some couple’s apart, but for kindred spirits, it brings them closer together.
What’s The Difference Between a Kindred Spirit and a Soul Mate?
This is a common question, and for good reason. On the surface, it appears as if they’re surely the same thing.
But you’d be mistaken.
Soul mates are about romantic love. It’s unconditional, it’s beautiful and it’s a connection brought together by fate. Soul mates are meant to be together.
Whereas kindred spirits doesn’t have to be about romantic love, or fate.
The other important distinction that’s worth noting is the “twin flame” relationship.
This is a very intense relationship that could be positive, but could also be negative. It’s passionate and sexy. The energy is so strong that it can lead to intense feelings of love and heartbreak.
If the rockiness of a twin flame relationship can be worked through, it really can be an incredibly meaningful and beautiful relationship.
Kindred Spirits Aren’t As Rare As A Soul mate
This is important to keep in mind. Soul mates are rare, but kindred spirits can exist in many different situations and circumstances.
After all, it’s based on understanding.
But that doesn’t mean that you should take them for granted when they occur. It’s such a beautiful connection that you’d be wise to cherish it when you have it.
A quick message from Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit
In 2018, the third year of Hack Spirit, I poured thousands of hours and considerable resources into creating these articles. It's a labor of love and remains free thanks to your patronage. If you found any value in these articles, please consider supporting what I do with a donation. Your support is what helps me to continue creating more Hack Spirits articles. To make a donation, click the "donate" button below and choose between a single donation or monthly.
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