Pearl Nash
Do you think you’re single because you simply haven’t met the right person? There are more reasons than that to consider.
Enter karma.
Here are 10 karmic reasons you need to know about.
1) You don’t believe you’re worthy
Many single people will say this isn’t true and they do in fact believe they are worthy of love.
If this is you, I want to ask: do you really believe you’re worthy?
Take a look at your life and answer honestly about your self-care.
Do you:
- Get enough sleep each night
- Eat a balanced and nutritious diet
- Exercise regularly
- Journal your thoughts
- Take time to relax and unwind
- Extend compassion to yourself
If you answered ‘yes’ to most, or all, of these then you’re showing the Universe that you believe you’re worthy by taking care of yourself.
On the other hand, if you don’t look after yourself, you’re sending a signal that these things don’t belong to you.
If that’s the case, you can be assured that you won’t find love with a decent partner.
It’s true: you need to love yourself first.
Are you wondering why you don’t feel worthy? A PsychTest.com study shows that you might struggle with deep-rooted issues like low self-esteem and behavioral issues.
Seek out the support you need from a trained professional to set you on the right path, because we all should feel worthy of love.
2) You can’t be happy single
I have a story about my mum.
She believed you needed love to complete yourself.
She was sold a common myth – one we’ve seen in romantic movies and in advertising.
Do you know the one?
As Rudá explains in this mind blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way because we’re not taught how to love ourselves first.
She tells me she spent years under this illusion of love, driven by our capitalist society. The idea of love sells products.
She is one of many who bought into the trap of the princess and the prince, built on the idea that someone needs to complete you.
Since 17, her adult life has been spent in relationships.
The most time she’s spent alone is about a year over the past four decades. Yep, four decades.
She didn’t think she could be happily single, which is why the Universe has now made sure she’s staying that way. Her third long-term relationship broke down a year ago, after she couldn’t take her narcissistic husband’s emotional abuse anymore.
The Universe couldn’t have sent her a worst partner, so now she’s staying single for the foreseeable future. She’s had enough crap men in her life.
Believe me, she’s had her fair share.
Now, she believes you need to be a complete person before searching for love.
She tells me that she now realizes what she was looking for all along was in herself. Plus, she tells me that if she is to meet someone again in the future, it will be the meeting of two complete people and nothing else.
What does this mean for you?
Maybe the Universe wants you to be single for your personal growth. There’s a chance it’s pushing you through the uncomfortable to help you level-up in your life and put that energy back into you.
3) You are meant to be alone for your healing
Aside from needing to unlearn the myth of needing a partner to complete you, you might be single right now because there is healing you need to do.
This doesn’t need to be linked to a past relationship.
It might be something that happened in your childhood that you’ve been carrying for years, even decades.
Working through this calls for introspection and maybe even seeking out professional help, but it will be worth it for the space it will create.
You see, this space might allow for the relationship you’ve been hoping for.
I’ve always found that relationships have revealed themselves to me when I’ve been ready.
I have to be honest, I did transition into a new relationship very quickly after my long-term relationship broke down. However, the truth is that I was mourning the relationship coming to an end while I was still in it. I knew which way it was heading and I mentally started to move on.
In my own experience, I trust in the timings of the Universe and have no doubt that my new relationship came about at the perfect time – even though it seemed a little soon to outsiders.
Trust the timing of life. If your partner isn’t presented right now, look inside instead.
4) You don’t believe of the concept of love
Do you roll your eyes when someone starts talking about love?
This might be a reason you’ve been single for so long.
You’re blocking your chance of finding love because you don’t believe in it.
Ask yourself: do you think it’s impossible to meet someone great and have genuine love?
See how that question actually sits for you.
When you’re dealing with disbelieving love, it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love.
I want to suggest doing something different.
It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.
In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.
Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find and nurture love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution to getting over the barrier of believing true love was impossible to come by.
5) Your purpose is to serve the world right now
This point makes me think about my good friend, who works as a spiritual coach.
She helps women work through their pain and find inner peace, so they can live their lives without carrying around the weight of their traumas.
Day in, day out she spends her time helping others.
I know she gives so much in her work and she finds great pleasure in her pursuit.
She tells me she’s living out her purpose.
Now: since my friend has been in this line of work, she’s only been in one long-term relationship.
That lasted for a year, but broke down because he let her down through his actions.
I’ve noticed she has incredibly strong boundaries, where she doesn’t let any crap seep in. If she clocks on to any toxicity, that person is out.
I respect this; she’s taught me how to be.
Now: the reason I tell this story is because I see that her work – her purpose – is incredibly important to her.
Dating someone isn’t top of her agenda.
I’ve seen her date people casually when she’s met them organically, but she’s not out there scrolling on apps looking for Mr. Right.
She’s busy acting out her purpose and serving the world with her gift.
Does this resonate with you? It could be a big reason you’re still single.
The world needs your gifts; it doesn’t want you to dilute your energy on some other person who probably isn’t even worth it.
6) You cant let go of a toxic relationship
If you think you were in a toxic relationship, chances are it’s true.
The toxicity hangover might be affecting your chance of being with someone else.
Even though this person might be long out of your life, their lingering negative energy could actually be keeping you single.
I understand it’s hard letting go of someone – I’ve been there.
This can also apply to toxic people, even though we know they’re no good for us.
Firstly, forgive yourself for making the decision to be in that relationship. Then decide it’s time to cut the ties with that person energetically.
Visualization is a power tool to help you let go and move on from someone.
You could start with a cord cutting meditation, where you actually imagine yourself severing the cord that connects you and your ex flame.
You could cut it with scissors or even image using a blow torch to disconnect you two.
Symbolic letter writing is also a powerful tool you can use to let go of a past relationship.
Get all of the things you want to say to your ex partner out on paper – as though they are going to read it.
Don’t send it to them; instead burn this letter in a letting go ritual.
Wish them well, sending them love and light, and allow this act to help you let go of them.
This might then allow your ideal partner to come through.
7) You’re choosing the wrong karmic partner
I have a feeling I’m in a karmic relationship at the moment.
I can tell you it’s as passionate as you might have heard, and equally tumultuous.
You see, deep down I know my current partner is in my life to help me grow.
We’ve been teaching each other a lot and have both evolved in many ways.
It’s been confronting and full of controversy, but equally an incredibly cathartic and healing relationship.
I wouldn’t have it any other way for the growth it offers.
Writing for Nomads, Anna Scheuder suggests that karmic partners aren’t all that good for us – if you haven’t found the right one yet.
As it stands, my partner and I are navigating the triggers that we keep unearthing in one another. I can tell you there’s a lot of reflection and deep conversations.
We’re both committed to working on the relationship and learning from the lessons that are coming up.
In my own experience, this has included me looking at the baggage I’ve been bringing, including my insecurities and trust issues.
It’s been uncomfortable but necessary in my evolution.
Now: on the other hand, if you keep attracting partners who are triggering the same issues, it’s time to look at what the karmic lesson is in this.
Scheuder explains that seeing the same patterns appear in different relationships could be a signal that you need to break a karmic cycle.
Being single and reflecting is one way to do this.
8) You’re just not ready for a relationship yet
Talking of hard work:
It’s cliche, but being in a relationship is hard work.
In my own experience, I find being in a relationship incredibly rewarding but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t come with challenges and work.
A reason for you being single might be that the Universe knows you’re not ready for this level of commitment and work at the moment.
Take this as an opportunity to think about the work you need to do on yourself.
What areas of your life do you need to work on before you can get to a place of being ready for a relationship? Could it be self-love?
I suggest embracing what Justin Brown calls being ‘happily single’.
His 15-minute video helped me reframe the entire topic of being single.
Expect clarity like never before on the topic, from someone who’s spent many years happily single.
What does this mean for you?
Well, once you move into a place of being happily single, the odds are that your karmic reasons for keeping you single in the first place will probably disappear.
9) You’re still grieving the loss of your past relationship
When I broke up with my ex, I found myself searching for the question: how long does it take to get over someone? I felt like the heartache would never end.
I was constantly breaking down and beside myself with pain.
It’s still surreal looking back on it. It felt like my heart was falling out of my mouth at times.
I was searching for this just a couple of months on from my breakup, which was too soon to expect the heartache to be over.
One research study suggests it can take three to six months to get over your ex-partner – and another shows it can take up to 18 months if you two were hitched.
If these timeframes apply to you, it could be that you’re still grieving the loss of your relationship.
Grief is a step-by-step process. It includes:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
Allow yourself to go through the motions – just because the person is still alive, it doesn’t stop you from symbolically grieving the loss of them in your life.
Moving to a state of acceptance and moving on with your life will allow you to meet someone new when you’re ready.
10) You’re not forgiving yourself for something
It’s hard to accept that you could be the reason for keeping yourself single, especially if you’re actively going on dates and trying to meet a partner.
Maybe your actions were the reason your last relationship broke down and you caused someone to walk away.
This was the case with my current boyfriend and an ex-partner of his.
They were only together for a total of three months, but she wanted a commitment from him.
He wasn’t ready to give her what she wanted because of fear, so she walked out of his life and didn’t look back.
Afterwards, he spent a year in a cycle of beating himself up for what happened and he filled his time with dates to distract himself. Nothing came of them.
He was looking for a partner but it wasn’t happening.
He started speaking to a therapist who offered him some guidance on forgiving himself and getting closure on the situation. This included writing a letter to her.
While a symbolic letter is just as powerful, he actually decided to send it to her.
Although she never responded, this act allowed him to find some closure and to come to terms with the reasons he wasn’t able to commit at the time.
Fast-forward a year and when I met him, he was at a place where he wanted to commit to someone.
He’d finally forgiven himself and let go of the hurt he was carrying.
What does this mean for you?
Trust life’s timings! Even though the sequence of events might not make sense at the time, it will all make sense as things unfold down the line.
