Is kissing your ex a good idea? 12 things to consider

How much is really in a kiss?

Honestly: a kiss can mean the world or it can mean nothing at all.

The difference could change your life, which is why the following dilemma should be thought about carefully before proceeding with action.

Is kissing your ex a good idea? 12 things to consider

Before you plant those lips…

Read these words…

1) How ex are you?

How long have you been separated?

A week? That kiss is your road to getting back together?

Two months? That kiss could just be a fond farewell and remembrance.

I’m not saying that the time you’ve been broken up is everything, but it’s certainly something.

If you just broke up, don’t start making out unless you want to go all the way back to love town.

If this is a kind of goodbye kiss then don’t overthink it and go for it.

2) Why do you want to kiss them (really)?

Think about your motivations: why do you really want to kiss them?

Is it “just for fun?” (in other words, are you horny?)

Careful, this can lead quickly to more intimate activities. And intimate activities can be addictive.

Before you know it you’re back together with them and then you break up again.

And then you repeat the cycle again until your heart is a bundle of strapped together scar tissue that’s the color of a discarded ashtray at a Grateful Dead concert.

Or do you want to kiss them because you still love them?

In that case, do it.

But honestly, be careful. Because they might not love you anymore. And if you build those expectations back up in your mind for something that’s just a lark for them?

You’re going to regret that.

3) Will a kiss lead to sex?

Kisses tend to lead to sex.

Especially when they’re done between people who have had sex or intimate moments before.

If that happens, that could well lead back down the road to more serious things and possibly unintended consequences.

Are you ready for that?

Because if the answer is no you should probably think this kiss through more thoroughly.

4) Have you thought much about this kiss?

How much have you thought about this kiss?

If it just crossed your mind now, think twice before doing it and make sure you know (or are pretty sure) how your ex will take it.

If you’ve been thinking it over for months then it obviously means a lot to you.

Be sure that you won’t be let down if it means a lot less to your ex.

5) Who wants it more?

Who’s the one who’s more into this potential kiss?

This can tell you a lot about whether to do it or not.

It’s really pretty simple:

If your ex is more into it, then the chances are that he or she is the one with more residual feelings, and vice versa.

If you’re on the initiating end, make sure that you are prepared for disappointment if it doesn’t mean much to your ex.

If you’re on the passive end, make sure that you are prepared to let your ex down if they want something more serious than a kiss or a roll in the hay.

Who wants it more? This matters more than you might think.

6) What’s your history?

This is similar to my first point, but bears exploration.

What’s your history with this ex? Were you serious and long-term or did you flare up like a bright firework and quickly burn out?

Keep this in mind as you decide whether or not kissing them is a good idea.

Maybe there are embers still there waiting to be lit into a new fire.

Or maybe it’s old ashes that have been stirred and trampled upon far too many times to try to relight the fire and it’s best to walk away.

Be honest about your history and make a decision based on that.

7) How much have you talked to them?

Kisses happen in many different ways and in many different situations.

As I said at the beginning, they can be really meaningful and intense or basically nothing.

A lot depends on the emotions and feelings you have for someone and how much you’ve talked to them.

If you’re getting close at a loud party on the spur of the moment, anything could happen, and you might well regret it.

If you’re about to meld mouths after two hours of deep conversation about your life paths then it’s a different matter and could be a lot more meaningful.

Just make sure you pay attention to the context in which this kiss is taking place.

8) Don’t overthink (or underthink) it

The key to kissing an ex (or not kissing an ex) is finding the right balance.

You don’t want to overthink it, but you also don’t want to under think it.

Both are highly advised against.

Here’s the thing:

Overthinking it lands you in a world of overanalysis, worry, stress, sadness, anxiety and feeling either regretful or full of desire for a kiss you never had.

Underthinking it leads to a world of random results and very positive or negative outcomes completely depending on a combination of factors (the vast majority of which are out of your control).

9) Kiss and then what?

After this kiss, then what?

Anything could happen after a kiss, during a kiss … who knows …

I mentioned sex and physical intimacy, but what else?

Are you hoping for another chance at a relationship or has that ship sailed?

Maybe you just have no idea about what might come next. That’s understandable.

Depending on the situation in which you’ve met your ex and re-contacted him or her, you’re feeling the heat and wanting to see what happens.

My advice here is to not create a lot of expectations.

This might go somewhere, it might not.

If you want to kiss deep down in your soul, then you should probably kiss.

Just think it through a little bit before doing so.

10) Who else is she kissing?

If you’re going to kiss your ex, it’s a good idea to keep in mind whether’s she or he is currently someone else’s non-ex.

If you get very into this and you can’t have your ex back that’s going to be a nasty situation and might even get you into a physical fight.

If they’re still single that’s good, but make sure jealousy doesn’t rear its head.

If you’re not really in a “relationship” you’ll be hard put to stake any claims on this person as they live their happy, single life.

This relates to how much you’ve been talking to them as well.

Because if this is a spur-of-the-moment thing, how do you know any more of the context?

You might love this kiss and then be left hanging for the rest of your life.

Or you might hate it and then find your ex wants you back when that’s the last thing you’re into.

Be careful!

11) It’s just a kiss…

The thing about kisses is they just kind of happen … or they don’t.

And another thing about kisses.

The more you think about them and plan them?

The less they tend to happen, or the more awkward and strange they are when they do happen.

You just have to either do it, or not do it …

The thing about kisses is that you can’t overthink it but you shouldn’t underthink it either as I said.

This is the reason why you need to screw your head on straight before you go getting really close again with an ex.

Because you’re probably an ex for a reason.

Was it their fault or yours for the breakup?

Either way, tread carefully …

The truth about kissing an ex is it’s a real dilemma …

12) …Right?

… Which is why I’m going to get ultra-honest with you here now that I’ve got your eyes on the page.

If you’re reading this article and wondering whether to kiss your ex, my honest advice is this:

You shouldn’t kiss them.

Not unless you want to get back with them.

Anything less will be either messing with their feelings, confusing you both or simply delaying breaking up again.

It’s just a kiss, sure.

But if you don’t mean it, don’t do it.

Go find another pretty girl or another hot mooch to smooch. You’ll have less regret after.