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Is he waiting for me to text him? 15 signs to look for (ultimate guide)

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After a great date with this guy, you wonder why he still hasn’t texted you. What’s that supposed to mean?

Oh, the well-known uncertainty of dating men which gets tougher even in the age of dating apps and social media. And it’s difficult to know what the other person thinks and feels.

In this article, I’ll help you solve the mystery so you can understand exactly what’s going on inside his mind.

The thing is, there are signs to look for if he’s waiting for you to text him first.

How do I know if he’s waiting for me to text him? 15 signs to look for

He’s not making a move. Maybe he’s playing mind games or telling you that he’s not into you?

But how can you know for sure?

You need to see signs that suggest he wants you to reach out to him first. While some of these signs are pretty obvious, some need more attention from you to notice them.

Here are signs that he is waiting for you to text him first.

1) He’s nervous around you

Is he shy and nervous when you’re together? It could mean that he likes you!

But for a reason, he’s afraid of making the wrong wove. He might think that waiting for you to text him first is a safer option.

The thing is, some men are shy are starting a conversation – but if you want this relationship to happen, you may need to help him along.

He’s afraid of doing the first move as there could be fears of rejection in him.

Probably, he doesn’t know what you think of him. So he’s giving you the way to start things rather than be in a situation he’s not comfortable with.

So if he’s shy or insecure with girls, he could be waiting for you to make the move.

Take this as a sign that he’s allowing you to take the lead and do what you know best.

If you want to send him a text, do it – but never pin all your hopes on his reply.

2) He has a busy lifestyle

When you’re dating a busy man, he may not have the luxury of time to message you often.

If you’ve noticed this, then it’s clear that he could be waiting for you to text him first.

He could be preoccupied with responsibilities or his thoughts might be all over the place. But this doesn’t mean that he’s not interested or doesn’t want to be with you.

The best way to do this is to communicate, understand why he’s busy, and never expect too much. And when you’re together, make the best out of it.

For now, shoot him a message – and if he didn’t reply for a week, then take it for what it is.

3) He tells you he’s not good at texting

This is one obvious reason why you haven’t heard from him.

Most men aren’t good at texting which women slay at. So trust his word when he says that he sucks at texting.

He might not be the guy who engages in the daily exchange of messages.

Maybe he doesn’t know how to start texting you, what to text, or when’s the right time to start a text conversation.

If he has the choice to text or meet in person, he’ll probably choose the latter.

He’s waiting for your smart side to make the move and start a conversation.

4) He forgets

While it sounds impossible, this is still true. This usually happens for a man who has many responsibilities at hand and those who have busy lifestyles.

Most men can’t multitask as they are too focused on the things at hand.

And this is one reason why he didn’t text – so don’t take it personally.

It could be that he thinks, “I’ll text her in a minute,” but then it slips his mind. Instead of trying to remember what he needs to do, he continues with his day.

So if he forgets what he’s supposed to do, get on his mind by texting him. Text him and remind him that you exist.

Here’s the key,

You have to bring out his inner hero.

I learned about this from the hero instinct concept coined by relationship expert James Bauer. It explains how men think and feel, and what drives them in relationships –  which is deeply rooted in their DNA.

And this is something most women have no idea about.

When a man finds someone who knows how to trigger it, they’ll feel better, love harder, and commit stronger.

You may be wondering, do guys need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. It’s not about being a Marvel superhero or you playing the damsel in distress.

So how do you trigger this hero instinct in him?

The best thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares exact texts and phrases to get you started, such as sending him a 12-word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

That’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s a matter of knowing the right words to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

5) He’s always checking you on social media

You know that he’s one of your most active social media friends and followers.

He looks and reacts to your stories, likes your photos, and even comments on your status updates. He doesn’t hide that he appreciates your photos and enjoys seeing what you’re up to.

When he’s paying close attention to your social media activities, he’s hoping that you’ll notice him. It’s just that maybe he’s having a hard time finding a way to reach out and start a conversation.

He’s interested in you!

So if there are no messages from him yet, then it’s time for you to make a move.

He’s giving you hints and hopes that you get them.

And this is a good sign as it means that he’s waiting for you to text him first.

6) He hangs out with lots of people (girls included)

He’s charming, outgoing, and always the life of the party. He’s a social butterfly – and someone who’s dangerously easy to fall in love with.

So you must take a look at his lifestyle.

If he has an active social life and is always out with a bunch of people, then it’s likely that he’ll wait for you to text him first.

Here’s why.

Men who have a busy social life are used to people reaching out to them first.

Probably, he’s spending less time online, and only does so when he needs to reply to messages from his friends.

And when you know that he’s being surrounded by girls, you have to find a way to grab his attention.

7) He has no clue if you like him

Most men can’t figure out how to read between the lines.

When we tell them, “I love sunsets,” we hint that we want to stay a little longer with them – but they don’t get it most of the time.

It’s possible that he doesn’t have any clue that you’re interested in him.

As he doesn’t know how you feel about him, he’ll choose to take a step back and wait until he knows where he stands.

He likes you for some reason, but he wants you to take the first step.

It’s because sometimes, men want to be chased too.

And this could also mean that he wants both of you to put an equal amount of effort into the relationship. It’s a good thing for the relationship to work if you’re both on the same page.

8) He’s not confident in making the first move

When you get to know his personality, you’ll see that he isn’t the type of person who makes the first move.

He’s used to being chill and waiting for people to do things for him or serve him what he needs. Don’t blame it on his lifestyle, though.

It might be that he’s afraid of being rejected, confused about his feelings, or he’s an introvert (while you’re the opposite).

But you can subtly get him to come out of his shell.

Try doing these things:

  • Tell him that you love spending time with him
  • Never compare him with other guys
  • Do things together that he’s comfortable with
  • Compliment his looks or sweet gestures

9) He’s too shy with girls

He’s into you but has no idea how to express that.

Probably he’s scared of how you will react to what he feels. He thinks that it’s better if he keeps his feelings to himself rather than scare you away.

If you know that he’s really shy with women, then that’s the reason why he isn’t messaging you.

He’s waiting for your text and will almost always let you be the one who is in control.

It could also be that he doesn’t know the right approach – so he hopes that you know what to do.

So if you’re certain that he’s shyer than the rest of the guys you’ve dated before, take the lead and text him first.

This relates to the hero instinct concept I mentioned earlier.

When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to message you and dedicate himself to the relationship.

And the best part is that triggering his hero instinct is as simple as knowing the right words to say over a text.

You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

10) He feels intimidated by you

You both enjoy spending time together but you can still feel that he’s intimidated by you.

Some men find being assertive, purpose-driven, attractive, or ambitious to be intimidating. He might be threatened by your strong personality.

Probably he’s thinking, “she’s out of my league,” or maybe someone close to him told you that.

And this only means that he’s waiting for you to make the move.

When a man feels intimidated, chances are that he won’t even try sending you a text for “he thinks” that you won’t give him a response.

It could also be that he’s waiting for you as he doesn’t want to bother or annoy you at all.

But you don’t have to change yourself to please him.

What you can do here is to make him comfortable in relating with you. In that way, he won’t be frightened to open himself up to you.

11) He got other options

It’s tough to break it with you, but to be honest, this is possible.

If there’s another woman around that he’s interested in, that could be the reason he avoids texting you. Or maybe, he’s got other people to deal with.

Probably, he’s not waiting for you to text him or make an effort – and he’s fine with that.

I know it’s painful, but maybe he’s not into you.

For when he likes you, he won’t leave you hanging or let your relationship remain undefined.

But don’t worry as this doesn’t make you worth any less.

So if this is the case with him, don’t bother making a move. Texting him could put you on his radar, but you’re better off leaving and moving on.

12) It’s his way of doing things

Either he’s passive or he isn’t pursuing women through texting. Maybe he doesn’t spend too much time texting at all.

He’s so chill that you can approach him anytime, but he won’t get out of his comfortable space to have a conversation with you.

He’d rather wait around for things to happen than make a move.

Take this as a sign that he’s comfortable being himself with you.

If this is the case, take the lead and let him know what’s running in your thoughts.

13) He’s figuring things out

Most men are unsure of their feelings and some are afraid to admit what they truly feel.

He wants to know if you’re into him or not. He wants to know if you’re interested so he can decide what his next move will be.

Could it be that he’s overwhelmed with what he feels for you? Maybe he doesn’t want to mess it up by saying something wrong.

He might be hesitant to text you as he’s afraid of what could happen or that you’ll reject him.

It’s like he’s testing the waters first to see what will happen next.

This is hard for guys who have been rejected a couple of times in the past. So to avoid that, he’d rather not message you than risk being rejected again.

14) He’s overthinking and decides to drop it

This guy keeps thinking of topics that interest you and finds something to get your attention. But the problem is, he’s thinking about it too much.

Or probably, he tries to come up with the right words to send to you.

He may reach the point where everything seems pointless and worries that you may not like it.

Thus, he gave up – and just waited for you to message him.

Now the sign is clear that he’s waiting for you to make the move and text him.

15) You’re too good for him

You know for sure that he’s a player, a bad boy – and he has even told you that you’re way too good for him.

And when you know that he’s opening up to you and being vulnerable, then it could be that he’s already falling for you.

But instead of trying to make a move, he’ll stay away from texting you.

When he looks at you, he sees the amazing woman that you are. But then, he thinks that you deserve someone who isn’t like him.

In a way, it’s a good indicator that he has no intention of playing with you and he doesn’t just want to hook up with you.

For if he’s serious about you, you can tell that for sure.

Why is waiting for his text so hard?

At the heart of why we get into such a tizzy over this, “he doesn’t text me” thing is fear.

We’re scared and we worry if he’s interested or if he’s just leading us on. And it’s driving us crazy.

When we have this fear, we try to find signs to back up what we’re feeling.

This is especially true when we’re just dating and the relationship is just in its early stage for we’re not sure how he feels.

If you text him to let him know that you exist, and if he doesn’t respond for days, it means that he doesn’t care enough.

When he replies and wants to see you, then it could mean something else.

I know you get my point here.

Should I text him?

Text him if you genuinely want to, but without expectations whatsoever.

So if you want to thank him for the wonderful night and it feels right to you, then go right ahead and let him know about that.

If you have good news or something interesting you want him to know and he would appreciate it, then send him that text.

Whatever that case may be, as long as it’s coming from a place of authenticity, feel free to reach out to him.

But wait for him to reply before texting him again.

Keep this in mind,

When two people connect, there shouldn’t be any hidden agenda or playing games.

The best thing to do

By now you should have a better idea of why he’s not texting you.

So the key here is to get through to your man in a way that empowers both him and you.

I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct throughout this article. It’s one of the most fascinating concepts I’ve come across.

When you appeal directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue – but you’ll reach a part of him that no woman has ever managed to reach before.

And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change as early as today.

With James Bauer’s incredible advice, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to bring out his inner hero and take that plunge, be sure to check out the video now.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

Written by Czaroma Roman

Czaroma is a content strategist and copywriter with a purposeful mindset. She finds fulfillment in crafting content for entrepreneurs and life coaches. In a place of love and growth, she's raising a tribe of three with her husband - and writes to inspire people to create impactful relationships.

Connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram.

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