Is he really too busy or just not interested? 12 signs to look for

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Every girl has heard this excuse from a guy now and then: he’s just too busy.

Here’s the thing:

Sometimes it’s true, but usually, it’s not.

Here’s how to tell.

1) He tries to see you when he can

If you’re wondering whether he’s truly too busy or just making an excuse, look at how hard he tries to see you.

Does he contact you when he has free time or dodge you on an ongoing basis?

Does he do his best to link up when it’s possible, or does he clearly prefer to hang out with others or stay alone?

Of course, he may just be exhausted from being too busy.

But the point is:

If he likes you enough he’ll make at least some time, even if it’s just twenty minutes to call you on his lunch break at work.

2) He doesn’t ghost you completely

When a guy isn’t interested and says he’s busy as an excuse, it can often be a form of ghosting.

He fades out like an ethereal apparition, never to be seen again except to occasionally type out “nm, u?” (“not much, you?”) when you ask how he’s doing.

When a guy is genuinely very busy and still likes you, he doesn’t do this.

He may have long breaks between texts or getting in touch, but he keeps you updated.

Even if he can’t text or message all day, he’ll send you something short and sweet like “another day at the salt mines, have a good one!”

That way, you at least know he’s thinking about you, even if he is too busy to meet!

3) What would a relationship coach say?

While this article explores the main signs whether he’s busy or simply not interested, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like where you stand with a guy. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

4) He contacts you when he gets unexpected free time

When a guy is just too busy but still likes you, he uses his free time to get in touch.

When he’s just using his busy life as an excuse, he does other things with his free time.

He may hang out with buddies, go for a drink, work on a side project, or even meet up with other girls.

That’s clearly not the behavior of someone who’s into you.

The man who really is into you will jump at the chance to connect up when he has a day or two free.

He’s not going to let that go to waste if he’s attracted to you and wanting to get to know you better, trust me.

5) He reschedules

A guy who’s into you doesn’t let one canceled date define your experience together.

He reschedules.

Even if he gets called into work late or has a million things going on in his life, he does his damndest to make something work out.

He coordinates with you and finds a time that works for both of you.

And if there’s a week or two when that’s just not possible, he apologizes profusely and it’s obvious he really means it.

A guy who won’t reschedule and doesn’t care about making things work is a guy who’s just using being busy as an excuse.

But a guy who reschedules and cares about mixups is a keeper.

6) He’s not saying one thing and doing another

Is he really too busy or just not interested?

One of the clearest ways to tell is to watch if he is telling the truth, and one of the best ways to do that is through social media.

Sure, some guys are savvy players and will hide their social media footprint when they make excuses.

But you’d be very surprised how many just don’t care or don’t realize how they’re getting caught out in their lies.

A common example:

A guy tells you he’s too busy to meet up and go to dinner tonight because he’s just got “so much going on.”

Later at night, you see him in a VIP nightclub with strippers draped on both arms and a bottle of expensive vodka.


7) He’s working hard to be worthy of you

Another sign that he’s really just too busy is that he’s working hard partly to prove himself to you and feel worthy.

The way to tell if this is the case is that he’s proud of his work and tells you about what he’s doing.

He doesn’t just make vague excuses or say he’s “busy” without elaborating.

He proudly tells you why he’s too busy and lavishes in your recognition and appreciation for what he does.

This relates back to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.

When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to feel strong attraction toward a woman.

And the best part is, triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as knowing the right thing to say over a text.

You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

8) He’s very vague about why he’s busy

No guy likes to be tracked and surveilled, so you shouldn’t start stalking a guy who tells you he’s too busy.

At the same time, if you’re into this man there is no reason you shouldn’t be curious about what he’s actually busy with.

If you know his job and he says he’s working extra a lot lately, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask why.

If you’re not even really sure what the things he’s busy with are, there’s no reason not to ask.

If he’s very vague or refuses to say, it’s likely just an excuse.

9) He helps you out when he can

Is he really too busy or just not interested?

It can be a hard question to answer.

But one of the clearest signs is to look at his actions rather than his words.

If he tries to help you out when he can, despite being busy, then he probably likes you and is just genuinely swamped.

If he rarely lifts a finger for you, he’s probably using being busy as just an excuse to mask his lack of interest.

You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.

The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.

The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

10) He almost never contacts you first

Who contacts who first in most cases?

Be brutally honest here.

If it’s almost always you, then this guy’s either on a top-secret mission like James Bond or he’s ducking you.

The fact is:

No matter how busy he is, a man will make time to shoot a quick text to a girl he likes.

That’s just a fact.

If it’s always you initiating contact and he’s letting the ball drop and leaving convos early, he’s just not that into you.

11) He involves you in what he’s busy with when possible

Another one of the promising signs that a busy guy still wants you is when he involves you in what he’s busy with.

As relationship expert Zak writes at the Attraction Game:

“He may invite you to certain activities that he partakes in so that the two of you can spend more time together.

For example, a musician may invite you to shows he’s playing at or to rehearsals so that you can at least be around him.”

It may not always work out as seamlessly as this…

But the point is:

A busy guy will do his best to let you know what he’s busy with and still make you feel like part of his life whenever possible.

12) He worships you when he’s with you

No matter how busy a guy is, pay attention to how he behaves around you.

The truth is:

There’s a world of difference between a man who’s feeling attracted and a man who’s feeling indifferent or uninterested.

But it’s also not entirely out of your control.

There are techniques and approaches you can take which will make him much more likely to see you as his one and only and be on fire for you.

I’ve found through relationship guru, Michael Fiore, how to make even the most commitment-phobic man want to stay with you.

Check out this wonderful free video to see how to use science-based techniques to make him love you, so much so that he never wants to be apart from you again.

Should you move on or not?

If you’re dealing with a busy man, then you’re probably feeling confused and frustrated.

If he’s showing many of the signs of just using being busy as an excuse you should probably move on.

But if he’s somewhat on the fence, my advice is to let him prove himself.

By now you should have a better idea of why knowing where your man stands on committing to you.

So the key now is getting through to him in a way that empowers both him and you.

I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier — by appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue, but you’ll take your relationship further than ever before.

And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change from as early as today.

With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge, before sure to check out the video now.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers).

Paul Brian

I’m a multimedia journalist with experience in print, photography, video, and online. My passion is reporting on individuals, faiths, nations, and situations that impact us all on the journey of life.

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