Is he over me already? 20 signs your ex is over you (and what to do about it)

Nobody likes getting stuck over a breakup…it’s especially bad when you still love them so much that you’re stuck in limbo.

One thing that can probably help to give you closure (or the courage to get back together), is knowing whether they’ve moved on or not.

So how can you know?

Here are 20 signs your ex is clearly over you, and some tips on what you can do about it.

1) They keep getting “tired” very often.

One surefire way to know that your ex is over you is to hear them say that they’re sick of hearing from you.

And even if they don’t tell you straight in your face, they will show it by rolling their eyes around you a lot or breathing one too many tired sighs.

You might think that you’re just curious about how they’re doing now, but they don’t like it. They feel like they can’t get away from you. That you’re being way too clingy.

And that’s the last thing they want. They just want to get away from you, but they’ve gotten tired of telling you so.

2) They take your gestures for granted.

You would do things to reconnect with them like sending gifts or ordering them food.

You just want to make them happy, and maybe mend your bridges.

But in return, you get little to nothing—not a word of thanks from them at all. Or perhaps they will say thanks, but the tone of their voice makes it clear they didn’t really mean it.

They won’t mention your good gestures to anyone else. They might have even forgotten them already.

In fact, you can stop doing what you’re doing and they probably won’t even notice.

3) They don’t try impressing you anymore.

If there’s one thing to tell you that you’re still important to a person, it’s when they still try to prove their worth to you.

It’s nice when a person dresses up or cleans up a little when they try to see you. A new coat perhaps, a new pair of shoes, or a clean shave. Maybe they bring flowers for a bit of surprise to win you over, even under the guise of friendship.

But what happens when they no longer do that?

For one thing, it means that they are definitely over you. After all, why would they put in the effort to earn your approval if they no longer care about you in the first place?

4) They don’t put in the effort to reconnect.

They may receive your messages, they may have seen them, but they don’t seem to care. You might want to at least stay civil or be friends instead but they aren’t interested in that either.

They are nonchalant, neutral, or cold. They don’t bother with rekindling feelings.

Sometimes you want to take the high road and resist the urge to reach out first. The anxiety of “will they or won’t they” won’t kill you so sit back and wait—even just for a little while.

But why don’t you test the waters a little?

What you need is clever psychology. That’s where dating expert Brad Browning comes in.

Brad is a best-selling author and has helped hundreds of people get back with their ex via his extremely popular YouTube channel.

I devoured his videos when I was going through the exact same thing with my ex, and it worked wonders. We’re back together just a month after I used his techniques.

He’s just released a new free video that will give you all the tips you need to get back with your ex.

Click here to watch his excellent video.

5) They avoid you.

It may sound harsh but they may not want to meet up with you. They might not even want to bump into you by accident.

They’ll use up all excuses from a stomach bug to attending a funeral. Depending on how bad the breakup was, they might even hide from you or go through hoops and jump into a fire just to avoid you!

There could be a different reason they might be hiding from you though.

Chances are, they are not totally over you yet but the sight of you could render them weak.

Take it with a grain of salt. After all, there is a famous adage “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”.

6) They don’t ask about your life.

You’ve probably moved on already or you’re trying new things yourself but if he’s not asking you about it, they are no longer interested.

You move to a different city or get a new job but they’re not asking questions. It means they’ve already accepted that your life is separate from them and no longer intertwined.

There is no future where it could possibly affect them.

7) They don’t give a damn if you date someone new.

You might have dropped a hint or two with a common friend about an upcoming date—maybe leaving morsels of clues peppered throughout your social media accounts for anyone who might bother to care.

But no matter how loudly you proclaim how much fun you’ve had with someone new, you get nothing but silence from your ex.

You don’t hear any complaints, see any passive-aggressive posts, or even congratulations.

They might even make themselves scarce so you can date others as much as you want.

That means they have given you free rein. They are no longer jealous and definitely over you.

8) They don’t stalk you on social media.

They might not be asking questions about you but at least they still like a new profile pic of yours, right?

But maybe they no longer do that either? You don’t get any notifications that they’ve interacted with your posts in any way.

This means they’re not following you anymore. Did you check to see if they have unfriended you? If they have already done that, they might not be willing to reconnect anymore.

9) They have stopped replying to your messages.

Coming up with excuses not to see you might be bad, but even that is better than being ignored entirely. At the very least, they’re still reading your messages and responding to you.

But what if they have stopped replying altogether? Worse, you don’t even get that little tick saying that they’ve seen your message. That can only mean one thing—they are over you.

What things do you say in your messages? Are they hurt? Are they in an angry tone? Are you being demanding or unreasonable? Do you blame or accuse your ex of certain things?

This might also be why they don’t want to reply. They might want to catch a break from the negativity.

10) They blocked you or changed numbers.

Maybe they don’t even see your messages at all, even if the two of you are in the same public chat together. You’re blocked, and your messages simply don’t show up on their screen.

And when you try calling them, you get informed that the number is out of reach, or that the subscriber doesn’t exist. They’ve changed numbers and have scrubbed you out of their social media.

This is especially bad when you still care for them, or if you still have things left unsaid. But perhaps, on their end, they feel like you both have said whatever needed saying and that there’s no point in keeping in touch.

11) They ignore your friends.

If you’ve dated for quite a while, chances are you’ve introduced them to your friends and they’ve built a certain level of trust between them too.

It’s one thing to not hear from you but if they don’t reply to your friends, it means they have added an extra layer of repellant to shut themselves off from prying questions about their life.

They don’t want to be bothered by your friends, and probably don’t want to volunteer information you can use as fodder in your friends’ talk!

It’s overwhelming enough having to deal with you. Multiply it a couple more times the number of your friends then your ex would probably have a mental breakdown!

12) They don’t rant on social media.

One thing to know that a person is going through something is social media.

You might get a glimpse of what they are feeling if they rant on their account about your past relationship. They might even be posting melancholy stuff to reminisce about the old days or stew on memories with you.

But if they stop doing that, it might already be a sign that they have come to terms with the breakup and have moved on.

13) You don’t receive drunken messages anymore.

Admit it. We’ve all turned to alcohol at one time or another to drown our sorrows away, especially when going through breakups.

It might stroke your ego once in a while to receive crazy professions of “I still love you” in garbled forms from a drunk, broken shell of an ex.

You as the receiver may think it funny or take it for granted. You might even find it annoying or cute, depending on how you feel towards your ex.

But what if it suddenly stopped?

That means you’re no longer the one thing they pine for a day in and day out.

14) They are taking better care of themselves.

Sometimes when we go through a breakup we let ourselves go. We stress-eat, we break down mentally and emotionally, and we forget to take care of ourselves.

Even things we consider mundane mean a lot and take a lot of effort during times like these. Things such as taking a shower or stepping out of doors for a bit of sunshine, for example.

But when your ex has decided it’s time to stop being such a slob, it’s definitely a sign they are over you.

And perhaps the reason why they have stopped sending you drunk messages is simply that they stopped drinking. They’re no longer so bothered they’d ruin their liver for you.

15) They’ve found a new hobby.

If you just came out of a relationship, especially a long-term one, boredom might set in. You’re used to doing things together and all of sudden there’s just you in the universe. This applies both ways.

You learn from someone else that your ex is doing something new.

They might be fishing, going to the gym, scuba diving, or trying out for a marathon. Some people even pick up a new instrument. Usually, it’s something they’ve always wanted to try but couldn’t since their decisions and time were tethered to someone else (you).

This means they’ve set themselves a goal. And that goal does not involve you. They are trying out new things to forget about you and move on.

16) They return your stuff.

When you get in a relationship, you share your life with someone. Exchanging things or leaving things in each other’s living spaces is common.

It’s proper etiquette to return things that aren’t yours. So it’s natural to expect this of your ex. There is just a certain sense of finality when this happens and there is a bit of dread that comes along with all your stuff.

They might not want to see traces of you around them so they can get over you faster. If you get your stuff back, it could mean they don’t want to see or use anything that might remind them of you.

17) Their family stops welcoming you.

You might have reached the point in your relationship where you got to know their family.

While this may be sweet if the relationship ends in marriage, the consequences are dire when you get a bad breakup. You go through not just falling out with them, but you have to deal with the rest of the family too.

Things become awkward with family members at first and the fragile friendships you put up with. Eventually, they stop connecting with you completely.

This is a sure sign that they’ve advised the family not to bother with you anymore. And of course, that’s because they’re totally over you.

18) They are meeting new people outside of your social circle.

Just like your stuff, they might not want to see your common friends so as not to be flooded with your memories together. Or it could just be a defense in case of an attack.

You know what friends can be like sometimes. They don’t want to talk about you or answer any questions about your relationship so they want to meet new people that don’t know about you and the past.

Meeting people outside each of your social circles will help both of you, whether you want to move on or not.

But you also have cause to be afraid. He’s beginning to drift further and further away from you, and it’s very possible that they’ll meet someone new.

Rather than leave it up to fate to decide, why not take things into your own hands and find a way to get through to your ex?

I mentioned Brad Browning earlier – he’s an expert in relationships and reconciliation.

His practical tips have helped thousands of men and women not only reconnect with their exes but to rebuild the love and commitment they once shared.

If you’d like to do the same, check out his excellent free video here.

19) They are dating someone new (and they’re just not trying to make you jealous).

You finally get a notification from them on social media so you hurriedly check for updates. Or you hear it through some random common friend’s gossip, but it’s something you’d rather not know about.

It’s news of them dating someone new!

They might be seeing someone just for the sake of it, and they might not be endgame but at least they have taken the step forward and it’s not with you.

If that doesn’t convince you, I guess you have to hear it from the ex’s mouth.

Respect the other person’s boundaries. If you don’t want your ex to bother you, you should probably back away especially when there’s a new partner involved.

20) They tell you to move on.

I hope that for all the things you shared with your ex, either of you would have the decency to talk it out properly.

Even if they haven’t been dating someone new, they might be happy and content as a single person, enjoying the positive changes or the new hobbies they’ve picked up.

If all other signs still have you doubting, I guess a simple “Move on and be happy with your life” from them ought to do it. They might find it difficult to communicate if they feel you are being defensive. But if allowed to talk, maybe your ex might be able to spell out their feelings more clearly.

What  you can do:

Now that you’ve finally assessed if they are over you, take more time to focus on yourself.

Look at the signs more closely and see if they apply to you too.

If you’re not satisfied with how things ended, here are some tips on what to do about it.

NOTE: There is also a chance that your ex might not be completely over you and I’ll be sharing some tips on how to convince them to start over with you.

If your ex is over you and you want to move on too

  • Get busy with something (or someone!) else. Visit new places or spaces you have no shared memories of. This is a good opportunity to see new sights. Who knows, you might stumble into paths that will lead you to better companions.
  • Don’t be a slave to social media. You might need to disconnect yourself from the chains of social media altogether to avoid the anxiety of waiting for notifications from your ex. Take a walk outside. Deactivate your account for some peace and quiet.
  • Resist the urge to post things just for the sake of forcing reactions from your ex. You have other friends and contacts who are genuinely interested in your life.

If you want to stay friends

  • You can express words of gratitude for the experience of being in a romantic relationship together. This shows that you appreciate the time you had together and tells them that you may want to continue these good moments, just not in an intimate way.
  • Be sincere in your gestures to extend an olive branch and make peace. Take them out for some coffee or dinner with some friends so that they don’t put their guard up. Enjoy that time as a group rather than just two people with a bad history.
  • Don’t get too disappointed when they can’t make it to a meet-up you agreed on. As friends, ease up on the pressure of spending time together. You are both allowed to be a bit more independent from each other.

If you want to win them back

  • Try to communicate more. If you truly want to remain in contact, don’t start the conversation while you’re angry. Walk it out and clear your thoughts.
  • Hold back on the contact. Don’t be too clingy or demanding. Don’t call too many times to the point of harassment.
  • Be more forgiving and open to their point of view. This way you can keep calm when you do get to meet up again.

Simply being earnest, and showing restraint and maturity is going to go a long way to winning back your ex’s affections. The same thing goes with you trying to change the things that they hated about you.

But it’s not a guaranteed victory, and it can easily take time—time that you might not be at luxury to lose.

If you really want to get your ex back, you’re going to need a bit of help.

And the best person to turn to is Brad Browning.

No matter how ugly the breakup was, how hurtful the arguments were, he’s developed a couple of unique techniques to not only get your ex back but to keep them for good.

So, if you’re tired of missing your ex and want to start afresh with them, I’d highly recommend checking out his incredible advice

It’s not always a bad thing

You might think it’s the end of the world, but it’s not.  There are some good things you can gain from this, even if they are just bits and pieces.

  • If your ex is being quiet on social media, you can look at it differently. Would you have preferred they complain about your breakup in public? At least they don’t air the dirty laundry for everyone to see. There is no pity party where other people swarm them with unnecessary comments and unsolicited advice.
  • If your ex is not bothering you in their intoxicated stupor, you can get more peace and quiet. There will be no more disturbances and rude awakenings at three in the morning. You will have clearer conscience knowing you’re not responsible for someone’s drunk behavior.
  • If your ex is actually changing for the better and you truly cared about them, you would be genuinely happy about this positive effect on their lives. Take credit for this if it can make you feel better about yourself too.


Breaking up can be hard on both parties but sometimes we just have to let go of old baggage to travel new roads with lighter feet.

The important thing is finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with.  If you truly think that your ex is the one for you and that you can still fix your relationship, then go and give it a shot.

So, if you’re tired of missing your ex and want to start afresh with them, I’d highly recommend checking out his incredible advice.

Here’s the link to his free video once again.

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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