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Is he going to break up with me? 20 signs he might break up with you soon

How to tell if someone is lying

Lately you’ve been feeling like something is wrong with your relationship.

Your boyfriend is no longer the sweet guy he once was, and the time you spend together has been reduced to cordial greetings and half-hearted compliments.

Not to mention that your bedroom sessions have become less frequent despite your many attempts to start it up.

It’s normal for relationships to peter out and stabilizes.

After all, you can’t live through the honeymoon phase forever.

But sometimes relationships fizzle out because one person just doesn’t care about making it work anymore.

Are you just going through a rough patch or is your partner preparing to break up with you? Find out below.

Is he going to break up with me? 20 signs he might break up with you

1. You seem to be putting in all the effort now.

There was a time when your relationship was equal, when every activity and date felt like there was equal effort coming from both sides.

But that time is long gone, and the only remaining effort in the relationship seems to be coming from you.

All he does is sit back and watch.

You arrange the dates, you set the schedules, you book the activities, you move around your entire life just to keep this relationship running.

Meanwhile, what does he do?

You don’t understand why he’s suddenly pulled out of everything, because he refuses to explain anything to you at all.

It’s either that he couldn’t care less about keeping this relationship alive, or he wants to frustrate you to the point that you end it yourself.

2. He gets annoyed whenever you ask for attention or love.

Having a romantic partner means having someone who can give you the love and attention you naturally need in your life, and having someone to receive the love you have to give in return.

And for most people, that’s an unconditional given: when we love someone, we never think about withholding our love and attention, because we love giving it to them.

Whether it’s in the form of random texting throughout the day or making sure to arrange regular romantic dates.

But your man has stopped doing all this, and when you complain to him about it, he makes it sound like it’s your issue.

He tells you that you’ve become too needy or desperate, or he says that he needs space.

But the truth is that he probably can’t tell you what he’s really feeling because he doesn’t want to feel like the bad guy when he breaks your heart.

3. Your sex isn’t anywhere near as good as it used to be.

Good sex is crucial to happiness in a relationship.

It doesn’t matter how kinky or vanilla you and your partner might be, sex is important to every type of couple.

When we love each other, we want to express it in every way possible, and sex is often the most intense way we can show each other that love.

So when your boyfriend falls out of love with you, that fountain of endless amazing sex suddenly goes off.

Sex too often now feels like a routine obligation, something you and your partner do simply because you have biological needs that need to be fulfilled, rather than something you do because you love feeling each other’s bodies.

There is something you can do about this though.

If you want the exact ideas, phrases, and text messages to send to your man to recapture your sexual spark, check out this free video by Felicity Keith.

Felicity Keith is a 42-year old soccer mum who struggled for a long time with low self-esteem between the sheets. This drove her to seek out answers.

Coined by her fans as a ‘suburban Carrie Bradshaw’, Keith is now a global relationship coach in demand.

Felicity teaches women how to seize control of their relationship by capturing their man’s mind and imagination.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4. You barely talk these days.

As literally everyone says, communication is key to a good relationship.

And you and your man used to talk for hours about anything: your hopes, your dreams, your rants, your frustrations, your favorite foods and movies and books, and a million things more.

But these days, it’s gotten to the point where it’s too much just to get him to explain how his day was.

He seems perennially exhausted by the idea of sharing his thoughts with you, and if you push him he just gets annoyed.

There may be a good reason for that.

Maybe you both nitpick each other’s every word, or maybe you can’t communicate for 10 minutes without devolving into a fight.

But for one reason or another, you’ve stopped talking, and when you stop talking that’s the absolute end of your relationship.

5. Bad days are beginning to outnumber good days.

Your fighting has become incessant.

Whereas before it might have been a rare occurrence — maybe once a month, maybe even less — these days you two can’t seem to be able to string two good days together because you fall into a quick and unnecessary spat.

And the things that turn “bad days” into “bad days” are becoming more and more ridiculous.

It could just be the tone of your voice or a single comment.

It could be anything and that could be the end of the day, with him changing his plans and acting like his entire day has been ruined.

Stepping into your relationship feels like stepping into a toxic field of landmines, and it feels like the only sensible thing you can do is not taking a step at all.

6. He seems to have stopped prioritizing you over anything else.

When your relationship was new, your man put you in front of everything in his life.

At times, he did it too much, and you wanted him to cut back before he lost his job or his friends because of you.

Maybe he skipped classes to see you, or he blew off a work meeting to take you out, or he cancelled on a day with friends so he could spend the day just watching TV with you.

And while it’s unrealistic to expect him to continue prioritizing you in front of every other thing in his life, it seems that he’s gone the other way entirely: these days, you’ve become the last priority.

The truth is that you’re no longer triggering your man’s hero instinct.

If you haven’t heard of it before, the hero instinct is the best kept secret in relationship psychology.

What it boils down to is that men want to step up for the women they care about. They want to provide for and protect her in a way that no other man. In other words, he wants to be her everyday hero.

This is deeply rooted in male biology.

If your man has stopped prioritizing your needs, then you no longer bring this instinct to the fore.

For a relationship to succeed, it needs to give a man a sense of purpose. It doesn’t matter how good you look, or how much of a firecracker you are in bed, a man won’t fall in love with you unless the relationship makes him feel good about himself.

The good news is that it’s not too late to trigger his hero instinct.

The best thing you can do is watch this free video from the relationship expert who discovered this concept. He reveals the simple things you can do starting today.

By following the simple tips from this video, you can tap into his protective instincts and the most noble aspect of his masculinity. Most importantly, it will unleash his deepest feelings of attraction towards you.

Here’s a link to the excellent free video again.

7. You avoid confrontation because you know it’s a fight.

Since the fighting has become so bad, you and your partner no longer engage when you have even the slightest feeling that this conversation might turn sour.

And this leads to negative feelings on both sides because both people start feeling like they have to give up their entire voice just to keep the happiness in the relationship alive.

As we stressed above, communication is key.

But part of the reason why you’ve stopped communicating is you know that the slightest issue can trigger an avalanche of a fight, and the last thing you want to do is add another fight to this broken relationship, one that might actually be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

8. It feels like you can’t agree on anything anymore.

Whether it’s where you want to eat or where you would like to raise your future children, you never seem to fall on the same page anymore.

It almost feels like he’s actively trying to disagree with you, just to see how you will react.

When a man wants to end a relationship, he will sometimes try to psychologically convince their partner that they want to end the relationship.

And an easy way to do that is making them feel that they are totally incompatible with him.

He’ll disagree with you on everything from your taste in food to your politics, just to get a rise out of you and make you believe that he’s not the right man.

But it’s not always as devious like that.

It could also be that your man has changed and you simply don’t know him anymore, and that’s part of the reason why he’s fallen out of love with this relationship.

9. He says things that never would have been said before.

As much as a relationship is built on compromise and trust, it’s also built on lines that we respect and never cross.

Our partner is our most intimate companion, and they know our greatest insecurities and sources of pain.

No matter how bad a fight gets, your man should never use the worst things they know about you against you, because there are some things you just can’t come back from.

But when a man is ready to leave you, he no longer thinks about “coming back from” a fight at all.

He uses your worst insecurities against you — whether it’s calling you fat or teasing you about something you hate about yourself — because he’s so done with this relationship and he’s hoping that this fight will be the fight to end all fights.

10. He nitpicks every little thing these days.

The little quirks he used to find cute are now his biggest annoyances.

It feels like he never lets anything pass; anything that might be an issue is now put in the spotlight, used as an opportunity to express his displeasure once again.

With him, it seems like you just can’t win. It doesn’t matter what changes you make to yourself, to your habits, to your routines, to anything, he’ll find a way to scowl and scold you.

It might be that in his heart he is so done with you that he wants you to hate him as much as he hates you, but it could also be that he doesn’t realize that it’s not the little things that he hates; it’s the relationship, which is why he doesn’t know how to end it.

11. He’s become cold and emotionally distant.

The relationship is slowly dwindling to a halt.

Your phone calls remain answered and he doesn’t seem to be too interested in replying to your texts.

Date nights are constantly rescheduled or, when you actually hang out, he’s constantly spacing out when you’re talking about something.

You might as well have broken up because you already feel alone even when you’re together.

This is because he is acting so cold and distant.

At the back of your mind, you know he’s slowly pulling away. He’s not as sweet or thoughtful as he used to be.

Deep down you know that this is his way of emotionally unlatching from you before he finally says “I want to break up with you.”

12. He doesn’t feel appreciated.

For a man, feeling appreciated is often what separates a happy relationship from an unhappy one.

Don’t get me wrong, guys love strength and independence in a woman. But he still wants to feel wanted and useful — not dispensable!

This is because men have a built in desire for something “greater” that goes beyond love or sex. It’s why men who seemingly have the “perfect girlfriend” are still unhappy and find themselves constantly searching for something else — or worst of all, someone else.

Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel appreciated, and to provide for the woman he cares about.

Relationship expert James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. I talked about this concept above.

As James argues, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.

How do you trigger this instinct in him? And give him this sense of meaning and purpose?

You don’t need to pretend to be anyone you’re not or play the “damsel in distress”. You don’t have to dilute your strength or independence in any way, shape or form.

In an authentic way, you simply have to show your man what you need and allow him to step up to fulfill it.

In his new video, James Bauer outlines several things you can do. He reveals phrases, texts and little requests that you can use right now to make him feel more essential to you.

Watch his unique video here.

By triggering this very natural male instinct, you’ll not only give him greater satisfaction but it may even save a relationship on the rocks.

13. You feel alone when he’s around and relieved when he’s gone.

Being together doesn’t count for much if your partner is constantly making you feel bad.

Knowingly or not, he has a habit of nitpicking the little things that you say and do, which makes being around him pretty stressful.

It’s easy to see that whatever chemistry the two of you had is now gone.

When he’s around, it’s like he’s actively trying to make you miserable.

Anyone with eyes on their heads would clearly see that he’s not exactly fond of you anymore.

And maybe that’s because he wants to break up but he hasn’t quite confronted the idea yet.

As a result, his subconscious turns you into an unpleasant presence, which would explain why he’s obviously gloomy, disinterested, or even irritable around you.

14. He talks more about how you two are different.

Guys who are attracted to you and who are intent on earning your affections back will highlight your similarities.

If the guy you’re dating is constantly saying how different the two of you are, it could be his way of saying “We could both do so much better.”

Partners who want to be with you will be willing to work through your differences and even love you more because of it.

But if the guy you’re seeing is constantly putting the spotlight on your differences, it’s a clear sign he’s looking for a way out.

Highlighting your differences is his way of convincing you that breaking up is a good idea, and that by doing so he hopes you would see it too.

15. You can’t remember the last time he complimented you.

Compliments are a nice way of reminding someone that there are things about them we like.

If you’re infatuated with someone, chances are you can’t help but compliment them.

So ask yourself when was the last time your boyfriend said something nice about you.

The last time you went out on a date, did he say anything about your efforts to clean up and look nice?

When was the last time you cooked dinner for him? Did he seem appreciative or uninterested?

While it’s true that people have different love languages and not every person is inclined to give a compliment, you can expect a guy who likes you to throw in a simple “You look good today” or “You’re very pretty” every now and then.

The point is, if he hasn’t vocalized his affections for you in a while, there’s a good chance it’s very steadily disappearing.

16. He doesn’t even try to be attractive or sexy anymore.

Guys who don’t care about the relationship will stop caring about whether you think he’s sexy or not.

If you’re not having sex as much as you used to (or if you are, it feels like it’s out of obligation), chances are he’s not taking care of himself either.

When he takes you out on dates, he’s just wearing the same hoodie and shorts he played video games in all day.

He would do little things before like groom his hair or wear perfume because he knows you like it, but he doesn’t really care about those anymore either.

And when you do say something about it, he either shrugs it off or turns it into a fight.

Even when you put in the effort to make yourself look nice for him, he makes you feel guilty for “compelling” him to look nice.

He might say different things but the message stays the same: I don’t want to try anymore.

17. His friends have begun pulling away from you.

You have a nagging feeling that his friends are starting to pull away from you.

You used to interact with each other online all the time and maybe even drop each other a hello every once in a while, but now it’s just radio silence.

You might be the type of girlfriend who hangs out with her boyfriends’ friends, which used to be a real fun time.

You’d hang out with his pals even when he wasn’t there and in a way you’ve become a part of their little tribe.

Nowadays, all of his best buds are magically unavailable.

There’s something suspicious about his friends as if they know something that you don’t.

If his formerly friendly buds are now nowhere to be found, he’s probably told them and they’re trying to ease the blow by disappearing from your life too.

18. He has close female friends who seem like they’re hiding something.

That’s not to say that he’s cheating on you with them.

But if he has a female friend who’s acting a little suspicious around you, there’s a chance he’s asked her for advice and now she’s unsure of how to act around you.

Try striking a conversation with her and see how she reacts.

As a woman, she might feel the instinct to comfort you and do something to soften the blow.

She might even suggest that you date someone else or offer to introduce you to another friend of hers.

Pay attention to a couple of things.

Does she ask about you and her friend?

She might ask to see if he’s already broken the news or she might avoid it altogether because she doesn’t want to bring it up.

Is she extra nice to you?

Does she say things she normally wouldn’t say as if to warn you?

19. He doesn’t react or respond to seeing you with other men.

Even if he wasn’t the jealous type there’s no denying that his apathy is on a new level entirely.

Even when another guy flirts with you to his face, he doesn’t seem fazed.

He might even joke about how you should get together with other guys or make suggestions here and there about seeing other men.

Sound familiar?

This is his way of trying to escape the relationship without pulling the trigger.

He wants to see if you’ll be tired of the relationship enough to move on with a new guy.

This way, he won’t have to confront the break up and enjoy an easy way out without worrying about your feelings.

20. Your friends and family seem to be pushing you to get out of this.

It’s normal for friends and family to look out for you, but you do it so much to the point that it feels like they know something that you don’t.

Does your mom check on you more often?

Do you get bombarded with texts from your sister when she’s normally quiet?

Are your friends trying to lock you in with plans for the next couple of months?

If the people you love are more affectionate than they normally would be, they might be trying to fill in the void of a break up in advance.

This is especially true if your partner is particularly close with your family and friends and holds them in high regard.

He might have a hard time figuring out what to do so he’s resorted to asking your friends and family for advice.

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Lachlan Brown

Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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