7 inconsiderate things men do in relationships that drive women crazy

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When men are inconsiderate in their relationships, it can deeply affect (what should be) the most important woman in their lives.

From not remembering the dates of anything to making them feel like they’re always second-best, there are certain things men do that can drive a woman insane.

Let’s take a look at the 7 inconsiderate things men do in relationships that drive women crazy.

1) They ask questions before trying to find out the answer themselves

Something that drives women crazy when living with their partners is getting asked “unnecessary” questions.

These are questions that are asked when it’s easy to find out the answer themselves.

But instead of finding out for themselves, the man will simply ask their wife/girlfriend, as if they magically hold all the answers.

For example, being asked, “Is the dishwasher clean or dirty?” without them even opening it to check for themselves first.

Or always asking, “What do we need at the shops?” when they could check the cupboards first and/or pitch dinner ideas for the week instead.

Experts have coined this the “mental load” or “cognitive load”, which refers to the responsibility of carrying the “invisible” tasks involved in running a household.

Like knowing what’s needed for dinner this week or keeping track of when the bathroom needs its next deep clean.

When men palm off the mental load to their partners, this can lead to frustration and burnout.

Plus, having to know everything and answer all the unnecessary questions can drive them crazy.

2) They don’t remember the dates of upcoming plans

Another inconsiderate thing men can do in relationships is leave the calendar planning entirely to their partner.

They don’t remember the dates of anything – even their own mother’s birthday – because they know their wife/girlfriend will remember instead.

So when you invite them to a wedding, they don’t bother making a note of the date.

Or when you tell them you have a double date planned for next month or it’s your sister’s birthday meal in two weeks, they’ll ask you over and over whether they have plans on those dates.

Having to constantly remind your partner of upcoming dates can quickly become a burden that drives a woman mad.

Especially when they keep getting asked, “What are we doing on [insert date]?” or worse, “Can I go out on [insert date]?”.

It’s especially infuriating when this leads to them double-booking themselves all the time!

3) They don’t check in when they’re out with friends

When you’re single, you can go out for as long as you like with whoever you like. And you never have to worry about letting anyone know your whereabouts.

But when you’re in a relationship, you’re sharing a life with someone.

Which is particularly important to remember when you’re living with your partner.

That means that you need to check in with your partner on your whereabouts.

You can’t simply go out after work at the last minute without telling your partner (or at least, you shouldn’t if you want a happy, healthy relationship!).

And you also shouldn’t neglect to tell them what time you’re leaving or when you’re planning on going home.

This can particularly come across as inconsiderate to women who have an anxious attachment style in relationships.

4) They always change plans at the last minute

Some people live a pretty flexible life and are okay with change. But when one partner is forever changing plans at the last minute, this can drive some women crazy as hell.

Sharing your life with someone means making plans around them and with them.

When living with your partner, especially when you have kids or pets, being considerate of their time is important.

If you make plans, they should be stuck to unless there’s a very good reason not to.

If a man is constantly changing plans at the last minute, leaving their wife/girlfriend to pick up the pieces all the time, this can drive a woman crazy.

Like if you’ve planned to have dinner together that night and the chicken is already defrosting on the counter, but they decide to go out after work for drinks with no notice at all.

And this happens again and again and again.

It can leave a woman to stop relying on their boyfriend/husband. It can even cause them not to trust the things they say.

5) They prioritize everyone except their partner

When you’re in a relationship with someone, you want to feel like one of the most important people in their lives.

You want to know that, even though there may be many people they love and care about, you are the person that holds the most special place in their hearts.

When someone is important to you, you should want to spend time with them, show them love, and act thoughtfully when it comes to their needs and feelings.

So it’s inconsiderate when men make their partners feel like they aren’t the priority at all.

This can come out in the smallest of ways. Like always choosing to hang out with friends over their wife/girlfriend.

Or canceling date night because something came up at work (again) or because it’s the night your football team is playing.

It can even be seen in how plans are organized.

Like if the guy is always booking big things with a group of ten mates. But leaves everything about date night to their wife/girlfriend to organize – every time.

6) They stop listening mid-sentence (or just don’t listen at all!)

Another thing that can drive a woman crazy in a relationship is when their partner doesn’t listen to them.

It’s especially inconsiderate when this happens mid-conversation.

Like if a man asks their wife or girlfriend how their day was, but then his eyes glaze over and he zones out – missing the entire end of the story.

Most women notice this very quickly and it’s disheartening.

According to experts, deep listening is at the heart of every healthy relationship. Without it, growth in the relationship can stagnate and satisfaction can decrease.

7) They criticize their outfits, friends, family, and other things in their life

Few people enjoy being criticized, especially by the person they love the most.

Another inconsiderate thing men do in relationships is criticize and poke fun at everything about their wife/girlfriend.

Like when they make an effort and do their make-up for date night, they laugh at them and ask them, “What’s that on your face?”.

Or they talk trash about their friends or family for things they do, making jokes about their lives and mocking the things they say.

While it can be seen as “banter” to some guys, not every woman will agree.

Making fun of things they say, what they wear, the job they do, and who they choose to hang around with can chip away at their self-confidence.

It can also make them feel unappreciated and unhappy in the relationship.

Final thoughts

Gone are the days when women blindly accept anything their partner does in the name of love.

With data showing that more women than ever are choosing to stay single (with almost 45% of women predicted to be single and childless by 2030), it’s more important than ever for men to address the ways they’re being inconsiderate to their partners.

From making more of an effort with their wives/girlfriends to taking more responsibility over their social calendars, eliminating the above habits can lead to happier relationships overall. 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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