Clifton Kopp
Mental toughness and resilience are some of the most important qualities a person can acquire.
When you’re mentally tough, it’s as if you have a superpower.
Why, you ask? Because hardship in life is a given.
Most people will easily succumb to adversity, mentally and emotionally unable to bounce back, sometimes permanently staying defeated.
It’s not merely your brain or talent that will take you far in life, your mental toughness counts for a lot too.
Remember, you’re a product of your experiences. How you respond to problems will define you in the long run.
In this article, I’ll take you through the experiences in life that will invariably make you a mentally tougher person.
If these items sound familiar, you’re in a good place.
Let’s get to it!
1) You’ve overcome a major failure
Remember, every cloud has a silver lining.
Hence, setbacks can work to your advantage if you have the right approach.
The pandemic was the most difficult period of my professional career.
I had been a restaurant owner for the past five years, and up until Covid hit, I enjoyed some moderate success and stability.
But being locked down indefinitely changed everything.
For a good two years, my days began consisting of hostile calls from unpaid suppliers, getting subpoenas and demand letters in the mail, and worrying incessantly about how I’d survive.
While it was constantly stressful, I kept telling myself: “If you make it through this, you’ll be unstoppable.”
Why did I feel that way? Because I knew that by hitting rock bottom, I’d invariably learn resilience, and how to bounce back with strength, among other things.
Well, fast forward to 2024, I’m in an exponentially better place in life.
And though I shudder to think of those dreary locked-down days, there’s no doubt I’m a better, more complete person because of them.
2) You’ve moved to a new place alone
Many people are incredibly reluctant to leave their comfort zone in life. I get it.
After all, your comfort zone is, well, comfortable because it provides you with a sense of safety and security.
But without taking risks, however marginal, you aren’t truly living.
Taking the leap, and dealing with the ensuing feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, isn’t an option many will voluntarily choose to pursue.
Moving or relocating to a new place is as bold and, in many cases, as uncomfortable, a move as any.
The further you move away from home, the more relevant the latter becomes.
By moving away, you’re essentially starting over, without the support system(s) you’re accustomed to.
By moving away, you naturally become more adaptable and independent, and therefore stronger mentally.
There is a lot of value in discomfort… and if you want to grow, it’s a sacrifice you should be willing to make.
3) You’ve experienced financial hardship
Don’t forget what your mom used to say when you were growing up: “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
This isn’t some bland cliche, there’s a great deal of truth to it.
Financial hardship and uncertainty can be extremely anxiety-inducing and agonizing.
Not knowing how you’ll pay the rent, tuition, or even for your next meal, is something that will organically build character.
Think about it, people born with a silver spoon in their mouths, who never had to worry about money, tend to end up being soft and out-of-touch.
In a sense, they’re ill-equipped to deal with the inevitable adversity and realities of life.
So if you’ve experienced periods of financial instability in any form and come out the other side, you’re likely in a good place mentally.
You’ve likely picked up valuable qualities like resourcefulness and perseverance.
4) You’ve had to cope with the loss of a loved one
There are fewer more emotionally devastating experiences in life than losing a loved one… yet the somber truth is it’s something most of us will have to go through at some point or another.
The thought of never seeing someone you love and care about again, the thought of them no longer existing (at least in the natural world), can be both horrifying and heartbreaking.
As established, even in the hardest of times, a silver lining will eventually emerge.
In the case of losing a loved one, the unbearable process of grieving and finding a way to move forward will build emotional strength.
You’ve experienced some of the deepest of sorrows known to humankind, particularly if they occur prematurely, and your mental toughness will eventually reflect that.
Keep your chin up. Stay strong. It’ll be okay, eventually.
5) You’ve overcome a serious health issue
As you may have gathered by now, tough and uncomfortable situations tend to build tough people.
Fighting through a serious illness or injury, either personally or with someone close to you, will inevitably test your resilience and determination.
Not only is dealing with health issues physically painful, but it’s also extremely mentally arduous… which, for many, can be even worse.
Having to deal with the prospect of death and mortality, of leaving or losing loved ones, isn’t for the faint of heart.
These are some seriously grave topics, so by having to contend with them for prolonged periods, often alone, you’re building a high level of mental fortitude.
6) You’ve been in a toxic relationship
Human emotions are a tricky thing.
Sometimes, we can end up in bad relationships and become too attached to be assertive and do anything about it.
Toxic relationships typically last longer than they need to precisely because many of us lack the strength to move, thus allowing a painful status quo to perpetuate and chip away at us further.
And in many cases, we aren’t even fully aware of the damage being inflicted.
This reminds me of the Boiling Frog Syndrome–the essence of which is that when our living conditions regress over time, we acclimate to these conditions instead of getting rid of them… until we are no longer strong enough to escape.
Not good. Unfortunately, many of us will never make it out.
But for those who do, this objectively takes a high level of self-awareness, sacrifice, and courage, among other things.
Once you make the transition, you’ll approach life and relationships with greater wisdom and strength rather than simply being a passive pushover.
Final words
If you’ve experienced the above scenarios, while not ideal, you’re far more equipped to deal with the trials and tribulations of life.
People who have experienced minimal hardship will not be able to handle life as effectively as you.
Your experiences define you. Pain defines you.
You’re in a good position now, critical life lessons in tow.
Keep moving forward with strength and the same energy.
Soon, you’ll get to where you want to be, and there will be no looking back.
