If you’re not attached to these 10 things, you’ve mastered the art of letting go

Letting go is an art, and not everyone’s a Picasso at it. It’s about understanding that somethings are not meant to be held onto forever.

Hi, I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a keen explorer of mindfulness and Buddhism. Over time, I’ve realized that the key to mastering this art is in not being too attached to certain things.

In this piece, we’ll take a look at the 10 things you needn’t cling to. If these don’t ring a bell, you’re already on the path of becoming a Zen master in the art of letting go.

It’s about conscious choices and embracing change, and I’m here to guide you through it. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Material Possessions

Here’s the first thing to understand: less is more.

In our consumer-driven society, it’s easy to get attached to material possessions. We often measure our success and happiness by the things we own. But let me tell you, as someone who has delved deep into mindfulness and Buddhism, true contentment comes from within.

Remember that new car or gadget you were so excited about? How long did that excitement last? A month? A week? Maybe even just a day?

Material possessions are fleeting. They break, go out of style, and are eventually replaced by something newer and shinier. The thrill we get from acquiring them is temporary.

The art of letting go begins with understanding that material possessions don’t define us. So if you’re someone who can look beyond the shine of new things and value experiences and relationships more, congratulations! You’ve got one foot in the door of mastering the art of letting go.

But remember, it’s not about renouncing all possessions. It’s about not allowing them to possess you.

2) The Past

The past can be a pesky thing, can’t it? It’s like a shadow that follows us around, sometimes whispering sweet nostalgia, other times screaming regrets and mistakes.

From my personal journey through mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve learned that the past, while informative, doesn’t dictate our present or our future.

Thich Nhat Hanh, one of the most respected Buddhist teachers in the world today, once said, “The past is gone, the future is not yet here. If we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.”

The art of letting go involves releasing the grip the past might have on you. This isn’t about forgetting or ignoring your past. Instead, it’s about accepting it as a part of your journey and focusing on the present moment.

If you’re not tied down by past experiences and are able to see each day as a fresh start, then you’re well on your way to mastering the art of letting go. Remember, life unfolds in the present. So why not live there?

3) Other People’s Opinions

I’ll admit, this one took me a while to grasp. But once I did, it made a world of difference.

In our quest for acceptance, we often find ourselves swaying to the rhythm of other people’s opinions. We start defining our worth based on how others perceive us. But let me tell you, this is a dangerous game to play.

Why? Because people’s opinions are as changeable as the weather. One day you’re amazing, the next day you’re not. If we let others dictate how we feel about ourselves, we’ll be on an endless roller coaster ride.

The art of letting go asks us to detach ourselves from other people’s opinions. It’s about recognising your worth, regardless of what others may think or say.

And remember, just because someone has an opinion about you, doesn’t make it a fact. You define who you are. If you’ve grasped this concept and stopped letting other people’s opinions affect your self-worth, then my friend, you’re mastering the art of letting go.

4) The Need for Control

We all want to be in control. It’s comforting to think we can steer the course of our lives. But life, as we all know, isn’t always predictable.

As Alan Watts, the famous British philosopher, once said, “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”

The art of letting go involves understanding that you can’t control everything. It’s about accepting the unpredictability of life and learning how to dance in the rain rather than waiting for the storm to pass.

Now, this doesn’t mean you should stop making plans or setting goals. But when life throws a curveball your way, instead of resisting it, try adapting to it.

So if you’ve learned to take a deep breath and roll with the punches life throws your way without trying to wrestle back control, you’re indeed mastering the art of letting go.

5) Perfectionism

I’ll be the first to admit that I was once a perfectionist. Everything had to be just so, and anything less felt like failure. But let me share something with you – perfectionism is an illusion.

There’s a saying I stumbled upon in Jeanette Brown’s book, A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World. She writes, “Perfectionism is not the path that leads us to our goals. It is a roadblock to our goals.”

Part of mastering the art of letting go means waving goodbye to perfectionism. It’s about understanding that it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay if things don’t turn out exactly how you planned. In fact, sometimes, they turn out better!

If you’ve learned to give yourself some grace and embrace the beautiful messiness of life instead of striving for an unattainable perfection, then you are indeed making great strides in mastering the art of letting go. And trust me, it’s a significant step towards building a happier life.

6) Fear of Change

Change is a part of life. It’s as inevitable as the sunrise. Yet, for many of us, the mere thought of change can be terrifying.

But here’s the thing, clinging to our comfort zones and resisting change only limits our growth. It keeps us stuck in a loop, replaying the same patterns over and over again.

Mastering the art of letting go involves embracing change rather than fearing it. It’s about viewing change not as a threat, but as an opportunity for growth and new experiences.

Next time you’re faced with a change, instead of retreating into your shell, try taking a step forward. Embrace it with an open mind and see where it takes you.

If you’ve started welcoming change rather than shying away from it, then you’re indeed on the right path to mastering the art of letting go.

7) Unforgiveness

Holding onto grudges and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. It’s exhausting, and it robs us of our peace of mind.

In my mindfulness journey, I’ve learned that forgiveness is a powerful tool. Not just for the person you’re forgiving, but mostly for yourself. It’s about releasing that heavy burden you’ve been carrying around and making space for peace and happiness.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the wrong. It simply means letting go of the bitterness that’s holding you back.

If you’ve managed to replace unforgiveness with understanding and compassion, you’re indeed mastering the art of letting go. This isn’t just about healing old wounds; it’s about setting yourself free to live fully in the present moment.

8) Comparisons

We live in a world that constantly encourages comparisons. From social media feeds showcasing perfect lives, to success stories making us question our progress, it’s easy to get caught up in this comparison trap.

But as Theodore Roosevelt wisely said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Mastering the art of letting go involves letting go of comparisons. It’s about understanding that everyone is on their own unique journey, with different starting points, different paths, and different paces.

Instead of comparing yourself with others, focus on your own growth and progress. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.

9) Constant Busyness

In our hustle culture, being busy is often seen as a badge of honor. It’s as if constant busyness equates to importance or success. But here’s a personal revelation: it doesn’t.

In reality, constant busyness can lead to burnout and rob us of the joy found in simply being.

Mastering the art of letting go involves letting go of the need to be perpetually busy. It’s about understanding that it’s okay, even necessary, to slow down, breathe, and simply be.

Believe me, some of my most insightful mindfulness moments have come during times of stillness and quiet.

10) Unrealistic Expectations

We all have expectations. It’s human nature. We expect things from ourselves, from others, and from life in general. But when these expectations become unrealistic, they can lead to disappointment and stress.

The final step in mastering the art of letting go is to let go of unrealistic expectations. It’s about setting achievable, reasonable goals for yourself and understanding that not everything will always go as planned.

It’s okay if things don’t turn out exactly how you envisioned. Be flexible, adapt, and most importantly, be kind to yourself when things don’t go as expected.

Conclusion

Mastering the art of letting go isn’t about becoming detached or indifferent. It’s about making space for growth, peace, and genuine happiness. It’s about embracing life in all its messy glory and realizing that the power to shape our experiences rests within us.

If you’ve made it this far and identified with most of these points, then give yourself a pat on the back. You’re well on your way to mastering the art of letting go.

For those still struggling, remember, it’s a journey. Be patient with yourself and take it one step at a time. And if you need a little help along the way, Jeanette Brown’s book A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World is an excellent resource.

Life isn’t about holding onto things that weigh us down. It’s about letting go and making room for what truly matters. Here’s to your journey towards mastering the art of letting go!