Kiran Athar
Relationships are rarely smooth sailing. There will always be hurdles and bumps in the road that could get in the way of you and your partner creating a successful, fulfilling relationship.
But with that being said, when you’re genuinely in love, you’ll make sure to stay focussed on what really matters and drown out the things that could harm your relationship.
That doesn’t mean you ignore issues – it means you are committed to working through them.
If this sounds like you, read on. I’ll be covering 10 things you’ll never let affect your relationship:
1) External people
One thing I learned early on is that other people will always try to meddle in your relationship.
From sneaky comments about the fact that your partner doesn’t do the washing up, to outright rude remarks about your SO’s career choice, even those you love may surprise you with their interference.
But if you’re genuinely in love, you’ll brush off these opinions. YOU know your partner.
And only you know why you love them.
You’ll defend your SO when you need to, and ignore it when it’s not worth addressing. But you’ll never let it interfere with your relationship!
2) Past relationships
Isn’t it funny how when you finally find happiness with someone, an ex will always crawl out of the woodwork?
It’s like they have a radar or something.
But jokes aside, they can do real damage – if given the opportunity.
So, if you find your partner’s ex suddenly contacting him on social media, but you aren’t bothered by it, it’s a sign you’ve got genuine love and trust.
You know your partner will handle it appropriately. But more importantly, you know their focus isn’t on the past – it’s on you and building a future together.
3) Disagreements
Proud moment here – my husband and I have had our fair share of disagreements and arguments in the last 5 years.
But one thing we’ve consistently done after each blowup is to sit down and tackle the problem together. We both want to make this relationship work, and the only way to do that is to face our issues head-on.
The truth is, disagreements will always arise. But if you and your partner have genuine love, you won’t let them stand in the way of your commitment to each other.
This determination will likely see you go from strength to strength as you learn to communicate better and handle conflict with compassion and maturity.
4) Ego
It feels good to be right, right?
Except for when you’re in love. Suddenly, satisfying your ego doesn’t seem so important when it comes at the cost of hurting the person you care the most about.
That’s why you don’t let it affect your relationship.
When you feel your ego rising its head, you take a time out.
You don’t fight til the bitter end just to say you’ve won an argument – you’d rather talk about things rationally and own up when you’re in the wrong.
5) Cultural/religious differences
My husband is Spanish…I’m British Pakistani. We come from two wildly different cultures and religions.
And that within itself can cause issues.
But when there’s genuine love, you don’t let these things get in the way of having a great relationship.
Wanna know how we do it?
One word – respect.
We do our utmost to respect each other’s traditions and beliefs. And when we hit a block in the road, we talk through our differences. Even if we can’t reach common ground, that’s okay.
We’ve learned to agree to disagree and move on, especially if it isn’t a major life decision.
6) Differences in lifestyle
Another thing you’ll never let affect your relationship if you’re in love is differences in lifestyle.
Let’s say you’re an early sleeper but your partner is a night owl. For some, this would become a source of tension and potentially turn into a major issue.
But when you’re happy and truly in love, you’ll find ways to work around this. Perhaps you decide to spend time together earlier in the evening, or on weekends you’ll agree to sleep together at the same time.
Whatever it is, you’re willing to compromise so differences in lifestyle don’t get in the way.
7) Change in appearance
I’m sorry to say, but those who leave their partner once they gain a bit of weight or start balding weren’t genuinely in love in the first place.
The truth is, when you love someone unconditionally, it doesn’t matter what they look like. You love their soul, their heart, and their personality.
Plus, you’re realistic. Time changes all of us, and without plastic surgery, it’s hard to look youthful forever.
So, if your partner has aged, gracefully or ungracefully, but you still love the crap outta them, it shows you will never let something so superficial affect your relationship.
8) Career goals
When my cousin said her husband would be going to work in Kuwait, while she remained in the UK with the kids, I think a lot of people doubted the longevity of their marriage.
But lo and behold, 12 years later, they’ve made it work.
Even though their career goals are wildly different and even drag them to other sides of the world, they’ve made a commitment and they’re sticking to it!
This goes to show, when genuine love is in the mix, you will find solutions. You’ll both make compromises and sacrifices, but you’ll also know when to make decisions that’ll benefit the other.
9) Financial issues
Talking of differences in careers, the same goes for financial struggles.
This is one of the leading reasons for divorce – worrying about money can put an immense amount of pressure on couples.
But even with financial issues, if you both remain open, understanding, and willing to work together, there’s no way it’ll affect your relationship.
Sure, you might argue. You might feel fed up or hopeless. But you know that by relying on each other, you will pull through to the other side.
10) Insecurity
And finally, we have insecurity.
All of us have insecurities, it’s natural.
But if you’re genuinely in love, you won’t let your insecurities ruin your relationship.
For example, I used to struggle with low self-esteem. I was constantly jealous and untrusting of my husband in the beginning.
But when I realized that my insecurities could drive him away, I knew I had to work on them. Luckily, he was very supportive, and our relationship improved 10 fold.
The reason I mention this personal example is because if I could do it, so can anyone!
That’s the power of true love.
Ultimately, no relationship is breakup-proof. Even the strongest of couples can reach a limit where they no longer wish to continue.
But if you resonate with the points above, it sounds like you’ve got a solid grasp on your relationship, and you aren’t willing to let such issues get in the way of it!
