Ava Sinclair
There’s a stark difference between being authentic and keeping up appearances.
Keeping up appearances is about showing people what you think they want to see, instead of who you truly are. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
Being authentic, meanwhile, gives you the freedom to be yourself – quirks and all.
If you’re tired of the charade and ready for a change, I’ve got some advice for you. Here are eight behaviors you need to bid adieu to, if you want to stop keeping up appearances and start embracing your true self. Let’s dive right in!
1) Pretending to be someone you’re not
Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. We put on a mask and play a role we think others expect of us.
This behavior is exhausting and far from what authenticity truly means.
Authenticity isn’t about trying to fit into someone else’s perception of who you should be. It’s about owning your individuality and embracing your true self.
The reality is, people are drawn to authenticity. They appreciate honesty, openness, and the courage it takes to just be yourself.
So, stop trying to fit into a mold that isn’t yours.
Put aside the act, embrace who you are, and allow others to see the real you. It might feel scary at first, but I assure you, it’s liberating.
Remember, being yourself is not only less exhausting but also more rewarding in the long run.
2) Overthinking every single interaction
I’ll be honest, this was a big one for me.
For the longest time, I used to replay conversations in my head, scrutinizing every word I said, every reaction I gave. I was constantly worried about how I was being perceived.
It was mentally draining. The stress of overanalyzing left me feeling exhausted and anxious.
But then, I realized something crucial. The energy I was spending on overthinking could be utilized in a much more positive way – by being present, by genuinely connecting with people and enjoying the interactions.
Once I made this shift, I noticed an immediate change. My conversations became more meaningful, more organic. And the best part? It took a lot less effort.
So take it from me, let go of the need to dissect every interaction. It’s not worth the energy or the stress. Instead, focus on being present and authentic in your interactions. Trust me, it’s much more rewarding and far less exhausting.
3) Constantly agreeing with others
Did you know that humans are inherently wired to seek harmony in their social interactions? It’s true. We often agree with others, even when we don’t truly feel the same way, just to avoid conflict or discomfort.
But here’s the problem – not only does this behavior drain us, it also dilutes our individuality.
Your opinions and perspectives are unique to you, and sharing them contributes to the diversity of thought and ideas in any interaction.
So, don’t shy away from respectfully expressing your viewpoints, even if they differ from others. You’ll find that it not only helps establish your identity, but also fosters deeper, more meaningful conversations.
Remember, it’s okay to agree to disagree. It’s not only less tiring but also more authentic.
4) Seeking approval for every decision
We all like to feel validated, don’t we? It’s comforting to know that our decisions are backed by the approval of others. But becoming overly reliant on others’ opinions for our own choices can be exhausting and detrimental to our self-confidence.
Your life is your own. You’re capable of making your own decisions. You don’t need constant validation or approval from others to affirm that your choices are right.
Start trusting yourself more. Believe in your judgment, your instincts, and your ability to make sound decisions.
Letting go of the constant need for approval will not only save you a lot of energy but also boost your self-confidence, and help you grow as an individual.
5) Hiding your vulnerabilities
We all have our insecurities, our fears, our vulnerabilities. But we often hide them, fearing that exposing them would make us look weak or inadequate.
But there’s something deeply human about being vulnerable. It’s what makes us relatable, what connects us on a deeper level.
Hiding your vulnerabilities can be incredibly draining and isolating. It’s like building a wall around yourself, keeping people out, when all you really want is to connect.
So don’t be afraid to let your guard down. Share your fears and insecurities. You might be surprised to find how many people can relate to what you’re going through, offering understanding, empathy, and support.
Letting people see your vulnerabilities doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. And trust me, being human is less tiring and much more fulfilling.
6) Avoiding difficult conversations
There was a time when I would go to great lengths to avoid any form of confrontation or difficult conversation. It was easier to sweep issues under the rug than face them head on.
But this approach only led to unresolved issues and built-up resentment. It was like carrying a heavy weight around all the time.
Eventually, I realized the importance of addressing issues as and when they arise. Sure, these discussions might be uncomfortable in the moment, but they provide a sense of closure and peace that’s far more satisfying.
So, don’t shy away from difficult conversations. Address conflicts and misunderstandings as they come up. It might seem harder in the moment, but in the long run, it’s actually less exhausting and much more rewarding.
7) Trying to please everyone
It’s an impossible task, really. Trying to please everyone all the time. You spread yourself thin, lose sight of your own needs, and ultimately end up feeling drained and unsatisfied.
The truth is, you can’t be everything to everyone. And that’s okay. It’s important to prioritize your own needs and well-being too.
So, say no when you need to. Set boundaries. Invest time in understanding what you want and need.
Letting go of the need to always please others will give you the space to focus on what truly matters – your happiness and well-being. It’s not only less exhausting, but also essential for leading a balanced and fulfilling life.
8) Suppressing your true feelings
At the end of the day, your feelings matter. Bottling them up, pushing them aside to keep up appearances, does more harm than good. It’s exhausting and can even lead to emotional turmoil.
Your feelings are valid, and they deserve to be acknowledged and expressed. Don’t suppress them for the sake of appearing a certain way to others.
Expressing your true feelings may seem risky, but it’s a fundamental part of being authentic. It not only lightens your emotional load but also fosters more genuine relationships.
Remember, your feelings matter. Let them be seen, let them be heard. It’s not just less draining – it’s real, it’s you.
Final thoughts: Embrace authenticity
At the heart of it all, the journey to stop keeping up appearances is deeply intertwined with embracing our own authenticity.
Authenticity is about accepting and expressing who we truly are. It’s about letting go of the fear of judgment, the pressure to conform, and the need for constant approval.
When we choose to be authentic, we give ourselves permission to feel freely, express openly, and live genuinely. It’s not just liberating; it’s also deeply rewarding.
Remember, every time we suppress our true selves to fit into a mold, we disregard a piece of our uniqueness. But when we choose authenticity over pretense, we embrace that uniqueness in all its glory.
As Oscar Wilde famously said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” It’s a simple yet profound reminder that our true selves are our greatest asset.
So, if you’re tired of keeping up appearances, remember that it’s okay to let go. It’s okay to be you. Embrace your authenticity – it’s less exhausting and infinitely more fulfilling.
