If you stay attached to these 11 habits, you won’t be able to move forward in life

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When life knocks you down, you don’t want to stay down, do you?

Instead, you’d want to bounce back better and move towards the direction of your dreams.

But, of course, it’s not easy to do!

There are certain habits that can keep you stuck.

Do your best to stop doing them first, and the rest will follow.

Here are 11 habits that stop you from moving forward in life.

1) Romanticizing the past

Do you ever wish a time machine truly existed so you can go back to the “good ol’ days” and just stay there forever?

Do you sometimes find yourself saying:

“My ex is the best I ever had”, 

Or  “I wish it’s still the 90s”, 

Or “I wish I could work in my old company again”?

If you consider the past as the best time of your life, this can stop you from moving forward.

Why? 

Because longing for the past doesn’t give you the motivation to actually work on your future. 

After all, the best has already happened.

What’s the point of even thinking about any kind of future?

2) Beating yourself up for past mistakes

If you always castigate yourself for the things you did and didn’t do, well…you’ll remain stuck in the same place.

This might seem constructive—what better way to remind yourself of what NOT to do—but it will greatly lower your self-confidence.

Telling yourself “Why are you so lazy and disorganized?!” or “How can you make stupid decisions?” will not help you.

And here’s the thing: if you have low self-confidence, your fears start to grow 10x in size.

This will prevent you from moving forward, of course. 

It would be scary to “fail” again!

3) Holding grudges

When you hold grudges—no matter how reasonable and valid—you’re holding yourself back.

Why?

Because you’d be concerned about OTHERS more than you’d be concerned about yourself.

And this is very dangerous.

Instead of building a life you want, you’d be too consumed with proving others how wrong they are about you.

That kind of passion won’t help make you move forward in life and live an authentic life.

In fact, it will just make you a puppet of your enemies!

4) Not taking full responsibility of your life

If you’re the kind of person who relies too much on God/ The Universe/ Destiny/ Other people, your journey forward will never happen.

Or if it will, it would take ages!

Listen: No one can help you but yourself. Say this again and again.

If you just experienced hardships, no one has the duty to help you get back on your feet. Absolutely no one.

If you get help from others, that’s wonderful. But don’t expect it.

Instead, take full charge of your own life and do the necessary work.

5) Comparing yourself to others

Sure, it’s nice to get inspiration from others—from those who actually overcame adversity.

But if you’re looking at other people’s lives to highlight what you don’t have? To see how lucky they are and how totally unlucky you are?

Then that’s not a healthy thing to do!

Especially if life has just punched you in the face.

For now, ignore people’s milestones. In fact, ignore other people’s lives.

Focus on your own progress so you’ll move forward without any pressure to be like them.

Why be like them? 

You have your own set of troubles, and surely you’ll have your own set of triumphs.

6) Having a defeatist mindset

Do you have thoughts like “Bah, why bother trying again? I already failed twice.”

Well, let me tell you this: you’re your own worst enemy!

Here’s something you should know: Most of the people who’ve actually achieved their dreams started by BELIEVING in their dreams—no matter how impossible it may seem.

Yep, they’re a bit delusional.

Trust me—you cannot be a Negative Nancy if you want to move forward in life. 

You have to have to teach yourself to have hope and optimism. You have to believe in magic for magic to happen.

If you don’t, you won’t even stand a chance.

7) Refusing to ask for help

It’s cool to be independent.

But you know what’s cooler?

Being able to reach out and collaborate with others.

While there are things that you can do best alone, most of the worthwhile endeavors in life require the help of others.

To go far, you need a mentor, an assistant, a partner, a marketer, and supportive family and friends.

And if you’re still emotionally and mentally suffering from the setbacks and challenges you’ve experienced, reach out to a therapist.

You’ll move forward faster that way.

So swallow your pride, stop thinking you’re a burden to others, and reach out. It won’t kill you.

8) Repeating the same mistakes over and over again

If your first business failed because you didn’t do any research, and then you make the same mistake again?

Don’t expect you’ll succeed on the second try, of course!

You’re doing the same thing, after all. So expect the same results.

If you really want to move forward in life, learn as many mistakes as you can—and learn them fast—then don’t do them again.

9) Not being flexible and open

So let’s say you want to be a published sci-fi novelist by the age of 30.

And so when someone offers you a copywriting job, you say “No thanks, I prefer to be a novelist, not a copywriter.”

And because of this fixation on one ideal life and one ideal path, you lose a lot of chances to become any kind of paid writer.

This is probably the reason why you have setbacks in the first place—you’re not seeing them as opportunities.

I mean…what if you’ll eventually become a sci-fi writer BY taking that copywriting job first? 

While it’s great to know exactly what you want, you must remember that there are millions of ways to get it. And it’s not always as obvious at first. 

Limiting yourself to only one path and one way of doing things could lower your chances of moving forward in life.

Remember: The universe will give you what you want, but not in the form you most expect it—at least not at first.

10) Fear of trying something out of the ordinary

Do you consider yourself risk averse? 

Do you prefer to do things the same way because it’s easy and safe?

It can prevent you from moving forward in life.

It doesn’t matter if you’re the smartest and most talented, if you just keep sticking to the old ways of doing things, you might not be able to go far.

You see, “setbacks” and “failures” are nothing but guides for us. They tell us “Don’t do it this way”. And so, you gotta do it another way.

The people who have bounced back from “failure”—and those who are able to make the most remarkable things— are those who are willing to try something new.

11) Caring too much about what others think

“What if people would think I’m trying too hard?”

“What if doing this will make my parents hate me forever?”

When you’ve “failed” at something, it’s normal to worry a LITTLE about what others think. 

But if you worry a LOT?

Well, you’re probably a people-pleaser and this habit can stunt your growth.

In order to get far in life, you need to care less about others and care more about your goals.

This is especially true if you just had a major setback and you’re planning to bounce back better.

Last words

In order to move forward in life, you must get rid of habits that drag you down.

The world is still full of possibilities.

You can still have whatever you want to have.

You can still be whatever you want to be.All you have to do is decide to move forward, have a resilient mindset, and develop healthier habits.

Lost Your Sense of Purpose?

In this age of information overload and pressure to meet others’ expectations, many struggle to connect with their core purpose and values. It’s easy to lose your inner compass.

Jeanette Brown created this free values discovery PDF to help clarify your deepest motivations and beliefs. As an experienced life coach and self-improvement teacher, Jeanette guides people through major transitions by realigning them with their principles.

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With your values clearly anchored, you’ll gain direction, motivation and the compass to navigate decisions from your best self – rather than fleeting emotion or outside influences.

Stop drifting without purpose. Rediscover what makes you come alive with Jeanette Brown’s values clarity guide.

 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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