Compatibility is something we often hear about. Yet, we often find out too late that the man or woman of our dreams isn’t that compatible with us in real life.
During the honeymoon phase, we’re all too happy to gloss over any potential red flags. But sooner or later, they come to bite us in the ass.
So keep reading to learn more about what traits your relationship needs to have for you to be compatible.
1) Effective communication
Let’s start with communication. Effective communication goes beyond just talking. It involves active listening, understanding each other’s perspectives, and expressing thoughts and feelings clearly.
It’s all about creating an environment where both of you feel safe to share your thoughts without fear of judgment.
For instance, I had a small issue with my lunges last year, so every time I cough now, more than a year later, my wife gets worried.
Does it annoy me that each time I cough lightly, she looks worried and asks me whether I’m okay? Definitely!
Mind you, this could happen half a dozen times per day!
But I don’t hide it or any other condition I may have. I appreciate her concern, and I know that she’s only worried about me.
Trust is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. It’s built through consistent honesty, transparency, and following through on commitments.
Trust also means having faith in your partner’s intentions and believing in their words and actions.
If your relationship is based on trust, you’re definitely compatible together. That being said, you can have all the trust in the world, but if you lack respect for each other, or it’s only one-sided, you’re in trouble.
Respect is all about recognizing your partner’s individuality, opinions, and boundaries. It means you’re treating each other with kindness, valuing differences, and never belittling or demeaning one another.
I’ve been learning that from the day I was born. My parents always had a lot of respect for each other and for others.
That’s why I always try to utilize the Golden Rule in any interaction with other people or my wife.
Simply treat others the way you want to be treated.
4) Shared values and goals
While differences can enrich a relationship or even marriage, having shared values helps create a sense of common ground.
The values I’m talking about are family, finances, religion, or lifestyle choices. Life is much easier when both partners are on the same page with these, I’d even call them issues.
The same goes for goals and aspirations.
Discuss and plan for your shared goals. It could be saving for a dream vacation, starting a family, or pursuing a joint business venture. Achieving these goals together will deepen your partnership.
5) Similar interests
Apart from shared values and goals, shared interests and hobbies provide avenues for bonding, collaboration, and making memories together.
Engaging in activities you both enjoy results in a sense of excitement and connection.
For my wife and me, that’s hiking and climbing mountains. There’s nothing that connects you more than simply trying to survive at some moments.
For example, in the beginning, we went to hike up a tall mountain on an empty stomach and a hot day.
We obviously didn’t know what we were doing, but we climbed it in four hours and hiked back down in another three.
Needless to say, that was one of the most challenging days in our lives, and it brought us more together than anything else.
Another key ingredient of every relationship is empathy. If you can’t put yourself in your partner’s shoes, how can you understand their emotions and offer support?
It requires active listening and responding with care, even if you don’t personally feel the same way.
So, let me ask you: does your relationship revolve around understanding and compassion? If so, you’re certainly compatible with each other.
Every healthy relationship has compromise at the top of the pyramid. That’s because relationships involve two unique individuals with their own preferences and opinions.
When you compromise, you find a middle ground when disagreements occur, showing that the relationship is more important than “being right.”
Still, many people always have to be right, and it’s tough to come to an agreement with them.
When you’re in a relationship with such a person, you can throw compatibility out the window.
8) Random acts of kindness
Tell me honestly, how often do you surprise your partner with gestures that make their day brighter?
It could be making their morning coffee, writing a heartfelt letter, or surprising them with a small gift.
If you two do this regularly for each other, then yes, you’re definitely compatible. You also have a strong bond and do things for each other without expecting anything in return.
9) Supporting individual passions
Apart from shared goals and activities, individual passions are also important for any healthy relationship. They also decrease dependence on the other partner.
Compatible couples encourage and actively engage in their partner’s personal passions.
They attend their events, offer help when needed, and celebrate their achievements as if they were their own.
10) Personal development together
Having individual passions and aspirations is good. But what’s even better for the health of the relationship is pursuing personal development as a team.
Couples who read self-help books together, attend workshops, or set joint goals for personal growth are on a shared journey that strengthens their connection.
My wife and I were brought closer together when we started learning Portuguese. We attended classes, did homework, and practiced speaking together.
11) Silent understanding
Over time, partners develop a non-verbal language that only the two of them understand. A shared glance, a certain smile, or a gentle touch speak volumes without saying a word.
No relationship is complete without this. And if you notice this non-verbal communication between you two, it’s one of the signs of compatibility, especially when coupled with others on this list.
12) Date nights
Ask any long-lasting couple, and they’ll tell you that date nights were incredibly important in maintaining their relationship fresh and engaging.
Many people set them aside when they get kids because they need to find (and pay) a reliable nanny and are otherwise very busy in their everyday lives.
But, of course, that’s a big mistake that can cost them their marriage.
13) Creating traditions
Founding traditions is another indicator of compatibility. They provide a sense of stability and shared experiences.
It could be as simple as a yearly camping trip, a holiday tradition, or even a special way of celebrating your anniversary.
Whatever it is, make it memorable and something you’ll be looking forward to year after year.
14) Apologizing and forgiving
And lastly, there’s no talking about compatibility if one or both partners are unwilling to say sorry and make things right.
Conflict is natural, and being able to apologize and forgive is essential. If you as a couple are actively listening during disagreements, offer sincere apologies when necessary, and forgive with an open heart, you have a one-of-a-kind relationship.
And there you have them, the 14 relationship traits and habits that show how much you’re compatible and how healthy your relationship or marriage are.
Although you can work on all of them and make them even better, a bigger indicator of compatibility is how your relationship performs “out of the box.”
In other words, the more of these traits and routines you have without the need to think about them or to improve them, the more compatible you are.