If your partner uses these 15 phrases, they’re secretly mad at you

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Ever feel like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory?

Do you have a hard time figuring out how your partner feels, especially when they’re angry?

I hear you.

Some people simply have a hard time reading social cues. What makes things more difficult is when the other person tries to hide their feelings, especially when they’re upset.

To help you out, I’ve prepared a list of 15 phrases that will let you know your partner is secretly mad at you.

Are you ready to find out if you’re in trouble?

Here we go:

1) “It’s fine.”

Newsflash: 9/10 times it’s not fine!

In fact, it’s far from fine.

You’re probably wondering why someone would say “It’s fine.” when it’s not.

  • Maybe they don’t want to argue over the same thing for the hundredth time.
  • Maybe they’re disappointed or frustrated that they have to deal with such behavior from you.

Whatever the reason, one thing’s for sure, your partner is angry and you need to make it up to them.

2) “You wouldn’t understand.”

You can interpret this to mean, “Why don’t you understand?”

If your partner tells you, “You wouldn’t understand” they’re probably feeling like you don’t get them.

I mean, if you did, you wouldn’t have said or done whatever it is that’s upsetting them.

Perhaps you’re not paying enough attention to them or listening to what they’ve been saying.

All in all, they feel misunderstood and undervalued, and you can be sure that they’re resentful, even if they’re trying to hide it.

3) “Do whatever you want.”

As a woman, I’ve seen so many men hear this phrase and go on to do whatever they want, completely oblivious to the fact that it comes from a place of anger.

It’s a passive-aggressive way of letting someone know you’re angry, without getting into an argument.

But that’s not all – it’s also a bit of a test.

You see, you’re not really supposed to do what you want!

You’re supposed to do what your partner wants, if you don’t, they’ll only get madder.

4) “Sure, whatever.”

This is similar to, “It’s fine”.

Someone who says, “Sure, whatever.” is clearly upset, but for one reason or another doesn’t want to bother getting into an argument.

Again, it could be frustration or disappointment.

It’s up to you to figure out how to make things right.

5) “I’m not angry, just disappointed.”

Don’t you just hate it when someone is disappointed in you?

It means you’ve let them down, it means you’ve messed up really badly.

When your partner tells you this, they want you to know how much you’ve hurt them and how mad they are at you.

When they’re disappointed, it’s because you’ve let them down.

It’s serious.

7) “If that’s what you think is best.”

This phrase is used by someone who is resigned and frustrated.

It’s clear that they don’t agree with you and that they don’t think you should do whatever it is you want to do.

Even though they disagree with your decision, they’re unwilling to argue further. They’re tired of arguing and this is their way of saying they give up.

Just don’t be fooled into thinking that you’ve changed their mind with your arguments, you haven’t.

They’re pretty mad, even though they won’t try to dissuade you anymore.

8) “I’m just tired, don’t worry about it.”

I’ve used this phrase before…

The truth is that when we’re tired we tend to be a bit more sensitive and even cranky.

Someone will say or do something to upset us, we will react, and then realize we don’t have the energy or will to explain or make a whole thing out of it.

“I’m tired” is the truth. But trust me, there’s also anger hiding underneath.

9) “I’m not in the mood to talk about it.”

Don’t press the issue when someone tells you this.

They’re obviously upset.

Let them cool off and see if you can discuss the issue later on, or even the next day.

10) “You always do this.”

So, why do you always do this?

Maybe you didn’t realize that you keep repeating a certain annoying behavior but what this phrase suggests is that your partner is frustrated, irritated, and disappointed.

What they want is for you to change your ways and learn from past mistakes.

But what they’re getting is the same old thing.

You should really address this behavior.

If you’re not sure what “this” is, ask your partner. Tell them that you sincerely want to understand so you can work on fixing it.

11) “I thought you knew me better.”

Sometimes we think we know someone really well and that they know us too.

Then, out of the blue, they say or do something that surprises us – something they should have known would upset us.

It leaves us wondering, “Who are they?” and “Do they even know me at all?”

So when your partner says, “I thought you knew me better.” they feel disappointed, betrayed, and yes, secretly angry. How could you not know them?

12) “Guess I should have expected this from you.”

It’s not looking good.

It seems like you keep making the same sort of mistakes over and over again.

This phrase is loaded with disappointment and resignation.

When your partner says this to you, they’re telling you that not only are they unhappy with the current situation, but that it’s just another in a long series of bad situations.

They’ve been let down but they should have expected it based on past experiences…

Oh dear, you just keep messing up, don’t you?.

13) “Okay. I’ll manage on my own, as usual.”

I’ll admit that I use this with my oblivious husband from time to time.

Here’s the deal: I tend to do most of the chores around the house and I’ve grown tired of asking him to help.

I shouldn’t have to ask every time, right? He should know by now.

So this kind of phrase is a passive-aggressive way of expressing my anger.

Most of the time, it will go over his head and I’ll just keep being upset. Sometimes, he’ll understand that I want something from him.

14) “I don’t need your help anymore.”

This is similar to the one above.

I’ll ask my husband for help with something and he’ll put it off until I give up waiting and do it all by myself – until I don’t need his help anymore.

If your partner tells you this, it’s a surefire sign they’re secretly mad at you.

15) “Whatever makes you happy.”

Finally, don’t fall for, “Whatever makes you happy” because it comes at a heavy price.

Just like, “Do whatever you want” or “Whatever you think is best”, this phrase means the opposite of what it states.

Clearly, whatever it is you want to do is something your partner doesn’t approve of.

If you don’t want them mad at you, then for crying out loud, don’t do it!

Jelena Dincic

Jelena has a background in photography and film-making and has spent the last few years as a content editor and copywriter. Jelena is a citizen of the world who is passionate about travel and learning about new cultures. She’s a foodie who loves to cook. And, as an art lover, she is always experimenting with new art mediums. When she’s not at her computer, she’s usually out and about in some forest with her dogs.

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