If your partner isn’t doing these 8 things, they don’t genuinely love you

Love, ladies and gentlemen, isn’t always a walk in the park. Sometimes, it’s crucial to take a step back and evaluate whether your partner is just going through the motions, or if they genuinely love you.

The difference lies in the tiny details. Being genuinely in love isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about those small, consistent actions that reveal true feelings.

And in this article, I’m going to share with you eight things your partner must be doing to show their genuine love for you. If they’re not, well, it might be time for a serious conversation.

So, let’s dive into it and see if your love is as deep as you think.

1) They’re there for you

In a loving relationship, your partner should be your go-to person when you’re in need.  

Their presence shouldn’t be contingent on convenience or mood. Instead, they should be consistently there for you, even when it’s hard or inconvenient.

It’s not just about being physically present. It’s about emotional availability too. True love means being there emotionally for your partner – listening to their fears, understanding their feelings, and offering support and comfort.

If you find your partner often absent or distant when you need them most, it might be a sign they don’t genuinely love you.

2) They respect your boundaries

My grandmother used to say, “Love without respect is like a river without water.” And over the years, I’ve come to understand the profound truth in her words.

Genuine love respects boundaries. Your partner should understand and respect your personal space, your individuality, and your right to have a life outside the relationship.

They should honor your wishes, your likes and dislikes, and not force you to do anything against your will. In other words, they should respect you as a unique individual and not just an extension of themselves.

As the wise poet and philosopher Kahlil Gibran once said, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” A partner who truly loves you will understand this and act accordingly.

If your partner constantly crosses your boundaries or disregards your feelings, it could be a red flag indicating that their love might not be as genuine as it appears.

3) They make you feel secure

In my line of work, I’ve seen countless relationships where one partner is constantly insecure and anxious about their place in the relationship. It’s heartbreaking to witness and can be debilitating for the person experiencing it.

In a genuinely loving relationship, your partner should be doing everything they can to make you feel secure and cherished.

They should reassure you of their love, commitment, and loyalty. They should make you feel like you’re a priority in their life, not an afterthought.

Insecurity can breed codependency, a toxic pattern I’ve discussed at length in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. A loving partner will do their part to foster a healthy, secure environment that helps prevent such patterns from developing.

If your partner often leaves you feeling insecure or anxious, it may be time to question the genuineness of their love.

4) They don’t shy away from conflict

This might seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t love supposed to be all about harmony and bliss?

Well, not quite. In fact, a relationship devoid of any conflict might be a sign that something’s amiss.

Conflict, when handled constructively, can actually strengthen the bond between partners. It provides an opportunity to express feelings, address issues, and grow together.

A partner who genuinely loves you will not avoid conflict, but rather engage in it respectfully. They’ll understand that your relationship is worth fighting for and will work towards resolving issues rather than sweeping them under the rug.

5) They celebrate your victories

We all love to share our good news with someone special. For me, it’s always been my husband. His genuine joy in my victories, big or small, is incredibly heartwarming.

In a truly loving relationship, your partner should be your biggest cheerleader. They should be genuinely happy for you when you achieve something, not just pretend to be.

They should celebrate your victories as if they were their own, without any jealousy or resentment. Your success should make them happy, not threatened or inadequate.

If your partner isn’t treating you this way, you might not be getting the love you deserve.

6) They’re not afraid to apologize

We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. No relationship is free from missteps and misunderstandings. But it’s how we react after we err that truly defines our character and the depth of our love.

A partner who genuinely loves you will not shy away from apologizing when they’re wrong. They won’t let their ego get in the way of making things right with you.

They’ll understand that saying sorry is not a sign of weakness, but rather a testament to their commitment to you and the relationship. They’ll own up to their mistakes and work on correcting them.

7) They make sacrifices for you

I remember my father once telling me, “Tina, love isn’t just about saying the words; it’s about making sacrifices.”

Genuine love often involves making compromises and sacrifices. Your partner should be willing to put your needs before their own sometimes, without expecting anything in return.

Whether it’s giving up a night out to take care of you when you’re sick or compromising on their favorite movie to watch one you’ve been dying to see, these small sacrifices show they genuinely care about your happiness.

The renowned author Mark Twain once said, “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” If your partner is willing to make sacrifices for you even when they don’t benefit directly, it shows their love is genuine.

8) They’re not perfect, but they’re perfect for you

Let’s be real. No one is perfect. We all have flaws, shortcomings, and quirks that aren’t always endearing.

Genuine love means recognizing this and loving the person anyway. Your partner might not be a fairy-tale prince or princess, but they’re perfect for you in their own way.

They should accept your imperfections, and you should do the same for them. They should make you feel loved and cherished, quirks and all.

If your partner is always criticizing you or trying to change you, it might mean their love isn’t genuine. True love isn’t about finding a perfect person but loving an imperfect person perfectly.

True love shows in actions, not just words

To wrap it up, real love shows through steady, meaningful actions, not just sweet words or big gestures. 

It’s about being there for your partner, respecting their boundaries, making them feel safe, facing conflicts together, celebrating their wins, apologizing when you’re wrong, making sacrifices, and loving them despite their flaws.

If your partner isn’t doing these things, it might mean their love isn’t as genuine as you deserve. But remember, everyone has off days, and nobody’s perfect. Consider the overall pattern of their behavior before jumping to conclusions.

If you’re struggling with understanding your partner’s behavior or navigating your relationship dynamics, my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship might be of help. It provides insights into identifying and breaking unhealthy patterns in relationships.

Remember, everyone deserves to be genuinely loved. Don’t settle for less.